


Leo's Legacy

by KerryAnne



Series: Leo and Raph's family [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: "Death" "Cancer" "Romance" "Anguish" "Turtletots", "Grief", "Romance", "family", "love", "togetherness", "young love", Counselling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Raphael, Imprisonment, Loss, M/M, Major Illness, Mpreg, Parenthood, Physical Abuse, Portals, Protective Raphael, Sick Leonardo, Turtlecest, alternate universe turtles, family struggles to cope with Leo's illness, new leader and clan leader, struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:17:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 34
Words: 63,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4969564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryAnne/pseuds/KerryAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo learns that he has cancer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Raph have a beautiful family, but Leo isn't feeling well and Don says he needs to have some tests run.

I don't own the rights to TMNT, but own rights to the others.

Leo is 20/ Raph is 19/ Don is 18 and Mikey is 17  
Raph and Leo have 4 kids: Leo jr is 4, Lily is 3 and Alyssa and Amy are a few days old. Leo jr and Lily look like Leo: forest green and have sapphire eyes.  
Amy and Alyssa are also forest green like Leo and have the same color eyes. 

XXXX

Raphael snuggled up to his mate on the couch. "I love ya, Leo, and have I told ya how beautiful ya are?" Raphael asked, gazing into Leo's sapphire eyes.  
"Only for the tenth time today," Leo said with a smile. He stared into Raphael's golden eyes and added, "I love you too."  
"The kids are asleep. Wanna...?" Raphael said flirtatiously, running his fingers up and down Leo's plastron.  
"I'm kind of tired if you don't mind."  
"No problem. Hey, Leo. Are ya okay? Ya've been lookin' tired a lot lately and ya ain't been trainin' as much."  
"That's what happens when you have kids, Raph. They wear you out. I'm sure I'll be fine after some rest."  
"Maybe we need a vacation. Why don't we ask..."

A baby wailed in the distance. "Oh, no," Raphael said and sighed. "That'll be Amy."  
"How can you tell?" Leo asked and chuckled.  
"They sound different. Amy's wail is louder, more intense and angrier. I'll go. Ya sit here and relax." Raphael bent down and pressed his lips against Leo's. "Love ya."

XXXX 

Raphael headed to the bedroom he and Leo shared and picked up the sobbing baby from the crib she shared with her twin. "There, there, Amy," he cooed. "Daddy's here. What do ya need? Formula, nappy change? Both, I think." He planted kisses on the little baby and pressed her close. "I love ya, Amy." Raphael changed her and was almost out the door when there was a cry. "Now yer awake, too, huh?" Raphael said, looking at Alyssa. "I just can't get a break." He laid Amy down in the crib, while he changed Alyssa. Then he lifted both into his strong arms. Alyssa stopped fussing and looked up at her dad. "I love ya, sweetheart," Raphael said and kissed her forehead. "Now let's hope yer bro and sis don't wake up too!"

As if on cue, a little voice said, "Daddy?"  
Raphael glanced up and saw his eldest standing in the doorway. "Leo, what are ya doin' up?"  
"I have to pee, Daddy," Leo jr said.  
"All right. Where's yer sister?"  
'Sleeping."  
"At least someone is," Raphael muttered. "Come on, squirt. Let me take yer sisters ta yer dad and then I'll go with ya."

Meanwhile, Leo had been thinking. I've been feeling so tired lately. I wonder why? Am I sick? I'll ask Don to do some tests. Maybe I'm just run down, because of the kids. They're exhausting.

Raphael appeared with the twins and Leo jr. "Hold them, while I take Leo jr ta the bathroom," Raphael said, placing the twins into Leo's arms.  
"Hey, my sweet babies," Leo said. "Daddy loves you."

Raphael returned a few minutes later, sans Leo jr. "I sent him back ta bed," Raphael said. "I'll be back now with the formula." 

Raphael entered the room a while later with two bottles and flopped down onto the sofa. Leo handed him Amy and a bottle and Leo fed Alyssa. 

"We did good, Raph," Leo said. "We have a beautiful family."  
"Yeah. Who'd have thought we'd have kids."  
"And that you're a big softy!"  
"Am not!" Amy squawked and Raphael immediately cooed, "It's okay, little one. I'm here."  
"You are, too!" Leo said with a smile.  
"Only when it comes ta ya and the kids. I'd die without ya." Raphael leaned over and nuzzled his beak against Leo's. "Ya and the babies are my world."  
"Mine, too. I'll always love you, Raph. No matter what happens."  
"Now who's the big sap?" Raphael asked and chuckled. "But I love ya too."

Later after the twins were asleep, Leo lay next to his mate and listened to his gentle breathing. "I'm the luckiest turtle alive. Life couldn't get any better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is wrong with Leo?


	2. Promises made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo asks Don to run some tests. Raph has a bout of jealously. And more bonding with the family.

Loud wailing woke Leo at two a.m. the next day. He sighed and got up quietly, so he wouldn't wake Raphael. However, Raphael felt the sudden loss of warmth against his body and stirred. "Leo, ugh. What time is it?" Raphael asked sleepily.  
Leo glanced at the digital clock on his bedside table and said, "Just after two. I'll take care of them. You sleep."  
"No. Let me," Raphael said, sitting up. "Ya've been super tired lately. I can handle the kids."  
"But it's not fair that you do everything."  
"Leo, stop arguin' and go back ta sleep."  
The wailing intensified. "No," Leo said stubbornly. "I want to do this, Raph."  
"Then at least let me help ya."  
"No," Leo said firmly. "Please. I want to do this. I won't be long. Keep the bed warm."  
"Stubborn bastard," Raphael muttered. "Fine, but holler if ya need help."

Leo picked up the wailing babies and tenderly changed them. Then he carried them into the lounge and placed them in their carrycot. "Daddy will be back now." He went into the kitchen and blinked in surprise. Don was sitting at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. "Hi," Leo said. "Surprised you're home. You and Mikey were only returning tomorrow."  
"Change of plans. How are you feeling?"  
"Did Raph say something?"  
"Yeah. He's worried about you. Says you've been tired a lot lately, you're not training and all you want to do is sleep. I'm concerned too, Leo. I think we should run some tests."  
"I'm sure it's nothing. Probably exhaustion. You know how kids wear you out, especially my lot."  
"How long have you been feeling like this?" Leo shuffled his feet and dropped his eyes to the floor. "How long, Leo?"  
"Can we talk, while I feed the twins?"  
"Sure."

Leo prepared the formula, poured it into two bottles and he and Don went into the lounge. Don smiled down at his nieces and picked them up. "You sit down, Leo, and I'll hand them to you. Leo sat down and Don placed the babies in his arms. Then he sat down beside Leo. "They're beautiful," Don said, watching Leo feed his daughters. "Four days old, right?"  
"That's right. The kids are the best thing Raph and I ever did."  
"Besides you guys finally admitting your feelings for one another. I honestly believed you'd never get to that stage."  
Leo smiled. "Well, we're both stubborn."  
Don snorted and said, "You can say that again. So, how long have you been feeling ill?"  
"Last couple of months."  
"Why didn't you say anything?"  
"Thought it was nothing and would go away."  
"Just feeling fatigue?"  
'Headaches. Sometimes nausea, vomiting and dizziness."  
"Have you experienced hearing loss, memory loss or hallucinations?"  
"No."  
"You're probably gravid, Leo."  
"Can't be. Raph and I finally found condoms that fit," Leo said, blushing. "And we've been careful, since Raph laid the last clutch of eggs, because we don't want more kids."  
"Well, we won't know until I conduct some tests. Meet me in the lab after breakfast tomorrow."  
"Thanks, Don."  
"Try not to worry. Night, bro." Don bent down and kissed the babies. Then he headed to his bedroom.

Leo finished feeding his babies and beamed down at them. Don's right, he thought. It does sound like I'm gravid, but I don't understand how. Raph and I've been so careful. How will he take the news if I am? He was adamant about no more kids.

Amy fussed and Leo planted a kiss on her forehead. "I love you, sweetheart. Go to sleep. Daddy's here." He gently rocked the babies and watched as they fell asleep, snuggled against his chest. Leo got up quietly and went back to the bedroom, placing the twins in their crib. Then he bent down and kissed their foreheads. "Sleep tight, my angels. Know that Daddy loves you very much." 

Leo climbed into bed and was surprised not to see Raphael there. 

The leader didn't have long to wonder why, when Raphael appeared from the en-suite bathroom, his hands on his hips, and demanded, "When were ya gonna tell me, Leo?"  
"Tell you what? And lower your voice. I just got the girls to sleep."  
Raphael approached him and said in a quieter tone, "That yer gravid. When ya laid the eggs? When they hatched? When?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
"BS. I heard ya and Don. Yer 'bout two months gravid. I got a right ta know. I'm the dad. Unless I ain't?"  
"How dare you accuse me of cheating?" Leo said angrily. "I'd never do that to you, Raph."  
"Oh, yeah? That damn Usagi's been hangin' 'round here a lot lately." Leo laughed. "What's so damn funny?"  
"Usagi's wife is expecting and he's been asking for parenting advice. Besides, why would I want that bunny when I have my sexy hothead?"  
"That's what I was wonderin'," Raphael said cockily, his anger dissipating.  
"Raphael," Leo said, pulling him close and nuzzling his beak against his mate's. "I love you. Only you have my heart. That's the way it'll always be. In sickness and in health. Until death do us part."  
"I love ya too, Leo, and I'm sorry for actin' crazy. And if yer gravid, we'll deal with it and will love the babies just as much as the others."  
"We will."

The turtles gently pulled apart and sat down on the bed, holding hands. "Hey, Leo," Raphael said. "Did ya think 'bout what we discussed the other day? Who ya'd want lookin' after the kids if anythin' happened ta us?"  
"Don and Mike. They're their godfathers after all."  
'Yeah. Great choice. I was thinkin' the same thing."  
"I want you to do something for me if I die before you, Raph."  
"I'd do anythin' for ya, Leo."  
"I want you to tell the kids about me. The good and bad stuff. How we fell in love. I want them to know their daddy loved them with all his heart."  
"Of course, Leo," Raphael said, squeezing his hand.  
"And I want you to find another mate. The kids will need two parents."  
"Leo, NO ONE will ever compare ta ya. Don't ask me that."  
"Raphael, that's what I want. The kids will deserve two parents and you'll need somebody to help keep you in line. I don't want you living your life alone. The kids will be grown up one day and you'll need someone else to take care of you. Promise me."  
"All right, but nothin' is gonna happen ta ya or me, Leo. We're young and got the resta our lives ahead of us. Hundreds of years together. Ya better not leave me ever. I'd die without ya and I mean it. Ya may as well bury me if that happens."  
"I'm just saying."  
"Stop sayin'. Ain't gonna happen. I'll be me if anyone's gotta die. Yer too good ta die first, Leo. Would ya take another mate if I died first?"  
"No, but you're different than me, Raph. You need someone to love, who'd calm you down."  
"I don't need anyone but ya, Leo. Now shut up. Yer depressin' me. Let me love ya and make ya feel good."

Raphael pushed Leo back onto the bed and got between his legs. He licked the slit in the soft cartilage of his lower plastron, until the head of Leo's cock poked through. Raphael smiled. "Yer gonna feel so good, Fearless. Just relax."  
Raphael gently rubbed Leo's cock with his fingers until Leo dropped down. Then he took Leo's cock in his mouth and sucked, savoring Leo's taste and watching Leo's eyes grow wide and roll back in his head.

Leo groaned and moaned in sheer ecstasy. "Raph, don't stop."

Raphael took more of Leo in, deep throating him. Leo bucked his hips and cried out. "Oh, Raph!" Leo soon came, shooting his seed down Raphael's throat. Raphael swallowed every drop, like it was his last meal. Leo pulled out and Raphael licked it from base to tip, taking care to swallow every drop.

"Feel better, Fearless?" Raphael asked, looking down lovingly at his panting mate.  
"You were amazing," Leo said breathlessly.  
"Tell me somethin' I don't know," Raphael said with a smirk.  
"Let me please you."  
"Ya did. Knowin' yer happy makes me happy, Leo." Raphael lay back and snuggled against Leo.  
"Thank you, Raph."  
'No. Thank ya. Thank ya for takin' a chance on me, bein' my mate and for givin' me a family. I thought I'd never have any of it." Raphael pressed a kiss to his mate's lips and pulled him closer, so that Leo's head was resting on his plastron. "And Leo, no matter what happens in life, we'll get through it together."  
"Don will run the tests tomorrow. Maybe we'll have another boy if it's a baby. What would you name him?"  
"Kinda like Troy."  
"That's cool. Hamato Troy. And a middle name?"  
"Not sure. I'll be there with ya for the tests. And Leo, if it's a baby, it'll be the very last one and we should think 'bout gettin' fixed. Don can do that for us."  
"I'm not having that done."  
'Then I'll do it," Raphael said quietly. "I nearly died after layin' the last clutch of eggs. I can't have no more."  
"No, Raph," Leo said, touched by his offer. "I'll do it. You carried our four children, risking your life. When Don told you that you might die with all three pregnancies, you still went ahead with them. And then we almost lost you when you laid the last lot of eggs. No arguing."  
Raphael shrugged. "Fine then, but it was worth it, Leo. Seein' the babies hatch and knowin' we created them. Our little angels."  
Leo smiled, leaned up and gently kissed him on the lips. "You big softy," Leo said and nuzzled his neck with his beak. "I love you. Night."  
"Night, Fearless. I love ya too."

Yes, Leo thought. Raph's right. We'll handle anything that happens together. I'm so blessed he's my mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a flashback to when Leo and Raphael hooked up.


	3. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo takes the tests and reflects on the night he and Raph confessed their feelings for one another.

Leo woke up at five a.m. the next day and stretched lazily. Looking next to him, he saw that Raphael was still asleep, a gentle smile on his face. Leo beamed. Raph looks so angelic, so content and so peaceful. This is the side of him no one else gets to see. It's just for me. 

Raphael stirred and opened his golden eyes. "Ya see somethin' ya like, Fearless?" he said huskily.  
"Yes, you. Come here, tiger."  
"Ya don't need ta ask, twice." Raphael moved closer and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. "So, ya feelin" okay today?" Raphael asked, when they'd pulled apart.  
"Yeah. I'm good right now. Hey, Raph. You know what today is?"  
"Course I do. It's May twenty-eighth."  
"Oh," Leo said in disappointment, hurt flickering across his face.  
Raphael couldn't play dumb any longer, seeing Leo's expression. He hated causing him pain. "Our fifth Wedding Anniversary."  
"You did remember?"  
"How could I forget, Leo? That's in the top three most important days of my life."  
"And the other two?"  
"The day we first told each other how we felt and when the kids were born. All days involvin' ya. I got somethin' special for ya. Wait here." Raphael bent down and kissed his beak. "I hope ya like it."

Raphael got up, rummaged in his closet and returned with a huge, wooden box. "This is for ya," he said shyly. Leo looked at the box on which was engraved Leo and Raph's Keepsake box. "This is ta keep our memories in it," Raphael added. "Ya know, of the kids, us, whatever ya like."  
"I LOVE it," Leo said, his heart overflowing with love for his mate. "You made this?"  
"Don't look so surprised, Leo, I made the babies' cribs and all. Don ain't the only one, who can make things," Raphael said almost defensively.  
"Raph, no, I didn't mean anything. I love it. It's beautiful. Thank you."  
"Open it."

There was a photo of them taken on their engagement evening inside. Hands wrapped around each other's waists and gazing into each other's eyes.

"Mikey took that," Raphael said. "Shoulda smacked him. He knows I hate photos, but truthfully, I love that photo. Ya look so handsome, Leo. Here's one of me gravid with the twins. I look like a damn beach ball, but I thought ya'd like it."  
"No, Raph. You look beautiful. So happy and so content."  
Raphael blushed and said, "Can't ya say sexy? It's more manly."  
"Oh, stop. You are beautiful to me, Raph. Everything about you."  
Raphael blushed harder and said, "And this one's of us cuttin' the wedding cake. That was some cake, wasn't it? Triple Chocolate Irish cream cheesecake and a tower of red and blue macaroons."  
"April really outdid herself. It was a fantastic day. Every day is amazing being with you."  
"That's all I got for now. We can add ta it."  
"We will. I love you, Raph." Leo said and leant in and kissed him deeply.

Raphael linked his fingers with Leo's when they'd pulled apart and smiled down at the golden rings they wore on their middle fingers customized with a little blue katana and red sai in the centre of them. Neither of them had taken them off since the wedding, other than when in battle.

"I have something for you too," Leo said. He got up, reached into his dresser and returned with a small, gift wrapped box. "Open it, Raph." Raphael opened the box and took out a silver heart-shaped locket. "Look inside, Raph."  
Raphael's breath caught when he opened it and he blinked back tears. Leo had a photo of them on their wedding day on the one side and on the other side was a photo of them on their honeymoon in Fiji, sitting on the veranda of their secluded beach villa. "I took that selfie," Raphael said. "Oh, Leo. This is awesome. Now I can keep ya with me all the time."  
"Let me help you put it on," Leo said. He placed the locked around Raphael's neck and said, "There. All done."  
Raphael fingered the necklace and a few tears ran down his cheeks, unable to contain his emotions "I'll never take it off, Leo."  
Leo smiled and gently thumbed his tears away. "Happy fifth Anniversary, Raph."  
"Happy Fifth Anniversary, Leo," Raphael said and pulled him close for a passionate kiss.

A baby squawked. "Reality," Raphael grumbled and frowned. "Ya got bad timin', squirt."  
"Want me to go?" Leo asked.  
"No. I got it."

Raphael turned his attention to the crib. Both twins were awake and were flailing their little limbs around. Raphael bent down. Pride shone on his face, as he picked up his precious babies and cradled them to his chest. "Mornin' girls. Time ta change ya." Raphael placed them on the changing mat, changed them and handed them to Leo. "I'll be back with the formula in a few minutes, Leo," he said and bent down and kissed Leo's cheek.

Leo beamed at his babies. "Aren't you two the sweetest, most adorable girls?" he cooed and kissed their chubby cheeks. "Daddy and I love you very much. Did I tell you about the time Daddy and I told each other how we felt about each othet?"

FLASHBACK FIVE YEARS EARLIER, JANUARY 2

"Leo, stop bitchin' like a mother hen," Raphael said angrily. "I told ya I just wanted ta take the bike out for a bit."  
"But it's storming and snowing out there, Raph. The weather bureau said we should stay indoors."  
"I'll be fine. Let me go."  
"No, Raph. What if something happens to you?"  
Raphael snorted derisively and said, ""Why would ya care? Ya'd think ya'd be happy anyway if somethin' did, seein' that I'm such a liability and concern ta ya."  
"That's not true, Raphael. You're my brother and I love you. I don't consider you a liability."  
"Move out the damn way, Leo."  
"I forbid you to go."  
Raphael laughed and said, "Forbid me? I ain't twelve no more, Leo, in case ya forgotten. Ya can't do that."  
"No, but you act like it," Leo hissed. "Challenging me and taunting me. Why do you have to be so damn infuriating? No one else gives shit like you do."  
"Yer halo's 'bout ta burst, Splinter junior. Ya said a swear word. Fuck off, Leo, and let me pass."  
"No," Leo said, stepping closer, so that his beak was close to Raphael's. "You aren't going anywhere." 

Raphael's golden eyes blazed, but before he could comment, Leo pushed him back against the wall and pinned his arms behind him. Then he pressed his mouth against Raphael's. Stunned, Raphael's golden eyes went wide and he tried to move, but Leo held on tightly, and soon Raphael was kissing him back. They came up for air a while later, both panting.

"What the hell was that, Leo?" Raphael demanded.  
"You're not a liability to me, Raph. I love you and not just as a brother. You mean the world to me and I'd be lost without you."  
"Is this some sick game of yers ta mess with me?"  
Leo shook his head. "No. I love you, Raph, but I'll understand if you don't feel the same way."  
"No. I don't know what ta think. I need some time ta digest this, Leo. Give me some space, okay?"  
"Take all the time you need."

Raphael hadn't gone out that night, but had gone to bed. For six days, Raphael and Leo had the barest minimum of contact, while the hothead worked out his feelings.

Leo was meditating in the dojo at eight p.m. on January eighth, when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Leo asked. "It's Raph." "Come in."

Raphael entered the room and sucked in a deep breath. Then he said almost shyly, "I wanted ta talk 'bout the other day."  
"Have a seat," Leo said, patting the meditation mat.  
Raphael sat down and rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I ain't good with feelings, Leo. I'm better with actions than words, but I wanna say this. I've always wanted someone ta love me. Never thought it'd happen. Accepted it never would. I mean, how could anyone love a freak like me?"  
"You're amazing, Raph. I wish you could see it."  
"Let me finish. Truth is, Leo, I love ya too. I've always loved ya, but I never thought ya felt the same way, so I buried myself in fightin', trainin', whatever I could ta stop thinkin' 'bout ya. But I know since ya kissed me, I ain't stopped lovin' ya. But I need ta ask. Is this a one-shot thing, a fling, what?"  
Leo looked at his passionate brother. "I don't want a fling, Raph. You deserve better than that. I want to see where this can go."  
"I do too," Raphael said shyly. "How do ya want me ta be?"  
"Yourself. You don't need to change. I love you just as you are."  
Raphael smiled and said, "Okay then. Are we datin" then and yer my boyfriend?"  
"I have to ask this first. Raphael, will you go out with me?"  
"Of course I will."  
"Then we're boyfriends."  
"When will we tell the others? What if they don't approve?"  
"Raph, no matter what happens, I'll always love you and we'll be together. I'll make sure of that."  
"Okay. So what happens now?"  
"This," Leo said pulling him close. 

Leo gently kissed Raphael on his cheeks, eyelids, jaw and finally his mouth. Raphael blushed, but kissed him back. The kissing heated up, tongues battling for dominance, as they groped each other. With one hand, Leo reached between Raphael's legs and gently pinched his tail. Raphael pulled back in surprise and blushed. "Leo, I ain't ready for that."  
"I'm sorry, Raph. I didn't mean to upset you."  
"It's fine, but this is new ta me. I need time for that. I wanna have sex with ya, but not now."  
"We have all the time in the world, Raph. Take your time. I'll wait as long as you need."

They'd kissed again. Then Raphael had left and gone to bed. They'd told their family two days later. Nervous and trembling in Splinter's dojo, they'd been so sure he'd disown them, but he'd given them their blessing. They'd gone on their first date later that day.

BACK IN THE PRESENT.

Raphael returned to the bedroom, bringing two bottles. "Earth ta Leo," Raphael said, noticing his dreamy expression. "Ya okay?"  
"I was thinking about the time we confessed our feelings for one another and I told the twins."  
"Aw, Leo. Don't scar them like that," Raphael chided. He sat down and handed Alyssa to Leo. "They're too young ta hear that."  
"Relax. I didn't tell them about our first time. That's next time."  
Raphael chuckled and fed Amy her bottle. When the twins had finished feeding, he and Leo placed them in the crib and went to breakfast.

XXXX 

Mikey and Don were at the kitchen table and they chatted for a while. Then Don took Raph and Leo to his lab.

Raphael stood in the lab, arms folded. "Be careful with him, Don," he said. "If ya hurt him, I'll..."  
Don rolled his eyes. "Raph, I know what I'm doing. I've been looking after you guys for years. Lie back on this bed and let me take a look at you, Leo."  
Leo did as he was told, while Don examined him and took a sample of blood, which he placed in a test tube. "I'll ask April to ask her dad to run the blood test," Don said. "We should have results in a few days."

"Cool. Finished then?" Raphael asked.  
"Yes. Happy Anniversary, guys," Don said. "Enjoy the rest of the day."  
"Thanks," Raphael and Leo said in unison, staring adoringly into each other's eyes.

The happy couple spent the rest of their day with their treasured children.

XXXX 

Later after the kids were asleep and they were watching TV, Leo whispered into Raphael's ear slits and grabbed his hand. "Let's go celebrate our Anniversary some more," Leo said.  
Raphael grinned and they went to the bedroom.

XXXX 

Afterwards, as they basked in the afterglow, Leo stroked Raphael's cheek and said, "You can say what you want, Raph, but you'll always be beautiful to me."  
"Ugh, Leo. Don't."  
"You are. And those eyes of yours shine as brightly as the stars in the sky."  
"Leo," Raphael growled, tossing a pillow at him. "Shut up."  
His mate only laughed. "And that smile of yours is..."  
Leo never got to finish his sentence, because Raphael smashed his mouth onto his in a searing kiss. Leo breathed in his musky scent, which never failed to drive him wild.  
"Up for round two?" Raphael said huskily, gently pulling away.  
"Always."

Raphael quickly dropped off to sleep when they'd climaxed, his head resting on Leo's plastron.

This has been the best Anniversary, Leo thought. And Raph and I have so many more to come. How can we top off this year? An idea came to him. He smiled, closed his eyes and was soon asleep, one hand on Raphael's plastron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the results of the tests.
> 
> Raph and Leo call their relationship a marriage and regard themselves as married. Had a ceremony at home, officiated by Splinter. April did the catering etc, but obviously they couldn't get married before a real priest. No one would officiate a marriage between two mutant turtles.
> 
> UPDATE: I am thinking of writing a series about the babies, now adults, and how their lives unfold.


	4. The diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo gets his test results.

Four days later, on June 1, Leo was doing the laundry. How the heck is there so much laundry when we don't really wear clothes, he mused? When he finished, he went to Don's lab.

XXXX 

Leo entered the lab and said, "Have you gotten the results yet, Don?" "I was about about to come and get you. Is Raph around?"  
"No. He and Mikey have taken the kids to April and Casey's."  
"You might want to wait until he's back."  
"That bad?" Leo asked fearfully.  
"I'm afraid so, Leo," Don said sadly.  
"Look, I can take whatever it is. Tell me."  
"Have a seat." Don picked up the stack of papers April had e-mailed with Leo's results and nervously cleared his throat. "You're gravid. Two months along."  
'Wow. Really? But that's good. What's the bad news?"  
"The bad news is that. Oh, hell, Leo. I wish I didn't have to say this, but you have colon cancer. Stage four. It's already spread into the liver and you know we can't get chemo or radiation. All I can give you is palliative care."  
Leo's jaw dropped. "You're joking, right?"  
Don's eyes filled with tears. "No," he sobbed. "I wish to hell it wasn't the case."  
"How long have I got?"  
"Months. Maybe even weeks. You need to tell Raph."  
"And the baby?"  
"It can't survive with the cancer. You should consider terminating it. I'll help you."  
"No," Leo snapped. "I'm not aborting my baby, Don. And that's final."  
"Talk to Raph. Shit. I'm so sorry, Leo." Don wrapped his arms around his brother.  
"If I make it another four months," Leo said, pulling away. "Is it possible you can bring the baby to full term in an incubator?"  
"I can do that, but the likelihood is you won't be around then. Colon cancer's one of the most aggressive cancers. You and Raph have a lot to discuss."  
I kind of need to be alone now, but do you think you and Mikey could look after the kids tonight? I want some alone time with Raph."  
"Of course," Don said, patting his shoulder. "And if there's anything you need, you know I'll do it."  
"Thanks and I'm sorry you had to be the one to break it to me. It must have cut you up."

Leo got up and went to his bedroom.

XXXX 

Leo gazed around his bedroom, studying the photos of him and his family on the walls. His beautiful family. Tears streamed down his cheeks. Why now, he thought? We're so happy. I don't get it. It isn't supposed to be like this. I'll fight it and will do my best to beat it, but Raph? I'm so worried about him. He's going to crack and build up his walls. He's going to take it hardest. How do I tell him? 

Leo was still wondering that when the door to his room opened an hour later. Raphael entered the room, the twins in his arms. "Hey," he said and kissed Leo on the cheek.  
"Hey."  
"How's yer day been?"  
Leo kissed his babies and smiled. "Okay. Did the kids behave?"  
"No. Our youngest threw up on April, yer namesake got hold of crayons and was drawin' on the wall and Lily got hold of April's lipstick and smeared it all over herself, the babies and the rug in the lounge. Took me forever ta clean them and the place up. I'm pooped."  
"Aw," Leo said, looking at Alyssa tenderly. "Is she sick, Raph?"  
"I think a touch of the flu. And ya know her twin will get it too if she's got it. I'll keep an eye on them. Let me put them ta bed and I'll be with ya." Raphael placed the babies in the crib and covered them with a blanket and and Leo looked at them proudly.

Raphael then turned to his mate and said, "Ya got all my attention now, Leo. Ya good?"  
"I am. Now that you're back."  
"Miss me, huh?" Raphael said and smirked. He leaned in and affectionately nuzzled Leo's beak with his own. "I sure missed ya, Fearless."  
"We need to talk, Raph," Leo said.

I wanted to tell him later, but now's as good a time as any, Leo thought.  


"Ya look serious, Leo? Is somethin' wrong?" Raphael asked anxiously.  
"Sit on the bed, Raph." They sat down and linked hands. "I got the test results."  
"And?"  
"I'm two-months gravid."  
Raphael beamed. "Okay, so we didn't want more, but we decided that we'll have the baby and love the squirt just as much as the others."  
"That's not the only news, Raph." Leo sucked in a deep breath and added, "I have colon cancer, Raph. Stage four. It's already spread to the liver. Don says I have months. Maybe even weeks and all he can give me is palliative care."  
Raphael's jaw opened, then closed, as he tried to find words. Finally, he managed to say,"Tell me this is a sick fuckin' joke? Please tell me that! I need ta know that."  
Leo shook his head. "No, Raph. I'll try to beat it, but the reality is that colon cancer's aggressive and I'm going to die soon. There's nothing anyone can do."

Raphael got up without another word, stormed out and slammed the door so hard, the twins woke up and started to cry.

Leo picked up his babies and kissed them. "Hush now. Go to sleep. Daddy's going to come back. He just wants some time alone."

I hope he comes back, Leo thought, tears running down his cheeks. I need him more than ever. Oh, Raph. Please don't do anything foolish. Come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As expected, Raph takes the news extremely hard.


	5. Inner turmoil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael's reaction to the diagnosis.

It'd started raining, but Raphael didn't care, as he leapt along the rooftops. Nothing mattered. Leo was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. He slowed for a moment, letting out a forlorn howl, his heart shattered in a million pieces. Leo's gonna die, he thought. Leo. How the hell am I supposed ta look after four small kids? People say there's a God, but if there is, how could He do this ta Leo and our family? And if someone's gotta go, why can't it be me? Why him? Leo's pure light. Leo's the responsible one and the good one. Me? I'm the rebel, the bad boy and the exact opposite of Leo. It should be me. Life's so fuckin' unfair! Raphael clenched one of his hands into a fist and punched a wall behind him. Then he studied his bloodied knuckles, the pain taking his mind off of Leo for a second. He had to hit something. The wall was the only outlet at the moment, so he repeatedly punched it until his knuckles were cracked and he was tired. Slumping against the wall, Raphael let out a loud anguished wail and hung his head in his hands. The rain was pouring by now, soaking him, but still he sat there, thinking of Leo. Their life together. He cried unashamedly, his rage and sorrow mingling, his guts feeling like they were on fire. Raphael had never cried so much in his life. He'd cried when he and Leo had gotten married, he'd cried when his kids were born, but those had been tears of joy. Raphael wept until he could cry no more and all he felt was numbness. An empty feeling he knew would remain for the rest of his life. Nothing would be the same once Leo was gone. And he knew he could never love anyone else again. How could I, he thought? Why would I want someone else, when I've had the best? 

His T-phone had rung several times. Leo had called six times, Don four and Mikey three. They'd all sent a bunch of texts, but Raphael wasn't ready to face them. I'm goin' ta Casey's, he thought. Maybe I can score some beer. I need somethin' ta stop thinkin' 'bout Leo. I can't cope. I can't do this. Raphael made his way to Casey's apartment and was grateful when he found an open window. Casey often left a window open in case he dropped by. "Hello?" he called, but no one answered. "Probably out." Raphael went into the kitchen and grabbed a six pack of beer from the fridge. Then he plopped down onto the couch and cracked open a can. Savoring the amber liquid, as it coursed through his veins, Raphael drank it fast. Then he cracked open a second one and thought about his and Leo's first date.

FIVE YEARS EARLIER, JANUARY 10

Raphael was nervous. It was Leo and his first date night and he hoped Leo loved what he'd planned. Raphael was gruff, sarcastic, macho and full of attitude on the exterior, but underneath all that, he was a romantic (though he'd be the first to deny it) and just wanted to be loved. He'd thought he'd never fall in love and that someone would love him, but now he had the opportunity with Leo and he didn't want to blow it. Raphael worried for the hundredth time that day that Leo would hate what he'd planned. At least I tried, he rationalized. 

XXXX 

Raphael went to Leo's room at eight and said, "Ya ready, Leo?"  
"Yeah. Where are we going?"  
"Surprise," Raphael said mysteriously, shyly reaching out for Leo's hand.  
Leo smiled and intertwined his hand with Raphael's. "I'm intrigued."

XXXX 

They made their way out of the lair, grateful no one was about, because they didn't want to be teased. 

XXXXX 

They exited the lair and walked for a long time until Raphael said, "Stop. This is the place."  
"Where are we?"  
"Don't be so impatient, Fearless. Ya'll find out in a few minutes."

They climbed out of the manhole a few minutes later and Leo gasped in surprise, as he looked around. "The aquarium, Raph?"  
"Ya don't like it?"  
"I love it, but I thought your idea of a first date would be...Beer and wrestling."  
"That ain't romantic and is somethin' ya do with yer bro or friend and yer neither tonight. Yer my boyfriend and I wanted ta make this a moment ya'll remember."  
Leo smiled and said, "Who'd have thought you were so sweet."  
Raphael blushed and lightly punched him on the arm. "I'm more than just a pretty face," he husked.  
"You definitely are a looker."  
Raphael blushed again. He cleared his throat and said, "Come on."  
"What about the night watchman?"  
"Casey's out back, keepin' an eye out in case there's trouble and will take care of it."

The couple spent a few hours holding hands and marvelling at the exhibits. At 11:05, Raphael said, "Ya done?"  
"This has been fantastic, Raph. Thank you."  
"Night ain't over yet. One more stop, but first give me a moment." Leo walked away and studied the turtle exhibit, while Raphael pulled out his T-phone. "Hey, Ape," he said. "Tell Case we're done. Can ya meet us where we discussed earlier? And bring the food. Thanks. I owe ya." Raphael disconnected the call and said, "Leo, come. We're gonna be late."  
For what?" Leo said, walking over to him.  
"Surprise. Hurry."

XXXX 

Raphael lifted the manhole and they went down into the sewers and walked for a bit. Then Raphael said, "Up here." They climbed up the ladder and were topside. Then Raphael said, "Up there," and pointed at a buiding.  
"Really?"  
"Don't question. Just move it."

They climbed up the building using Leo's grappling hook and landed on the roof. Leo was stunned at what he saw. There was a table and two chairs. The table was beautifully set with candles, glasses and placemats and a picnic hamper rested on the floor. "Wow," Leo said. He went over to Raphael and kissed him on the cheek. "You did all of this?"  
"April did and there's more ta come. Have a seat. Dinner will be here soon." Raphael opened the picnic hamper and said, "Ya don't drink, so I got grape juice. Looks like the real thing." He poured the juice into two glasses and said, "Ta us."  
"Ta us," Leo said, clinking his glass against Raphael's. "I love you."  
"Love ya too."

The couple chatted for a while. They heard someone panting. Raphael and Leo looked up to see April running up the last few steps to the roof. "Dinner's served, guys," she said. She was carrying a tray with two plates. She set the plates before the guys and said, "Enjoy. I'll see you later."  
"Thanks for everythin'," Raphael said.

"Thanks," Leo said.  
"No problem," April said. "Have fun. Bye."

Leo tucked into his steamed tuna and rice. "This is amazing, Raph. Thank you."  
"Yer welcome. I got the same."  
"How'd April manage this?"  
"She's got a friend, who lives in this building and who was goin' out of town and asked April ta look after her place. April said she'd make yer favorite meal when I told her what it was."  
"Wow. I'm impressed, Raph. This has been the best night of my life."  
Raphael flushed. "Good. Ya mean so much ta me, Leo, and I wanted ta show ya that."  
"You have." Leo reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "I'll always love you."

After dinner, the couple sat down on a blanket Raphael pulled out of the basket and snuggled up together. "Beautiful night," Leo said, staring at the full moon.  
"Ain't as wonderful as what I've got beside me," Raphael husked.  
Leo blushed and said, "You big softy."  
"Sh. The movie's 'bout ta start."  
"Movie?"  
"Look over there. There's the drive-in and we got the best seat in the house."  
"Aquarium, dinner and a show. You really know how to treat a guy, Raph," Leo said and nuzzled his beak against Raphael's.  
"Like I said, there are more layers ta me than ya think."

The movie started and both watched for a while, but losing interest they snuggled closer, enjoying the closeness. Leo rested his head against Raphael's plastron. "I've never been so happy before," he said.  
"Me either," Raphael said and leant down and gently kissed him. Leo responded and they were soon in a heated make out session, the movie forgotten.  
"Sorry," Leo said, when they came up for air, both panting. "You wanted to watch the movie."  
"Screw the movie," Raphael said breathlessly. "I want ya. Kiss me."

They made out for a long time. Then Raphael said, "We should head back."  
"Yes. What about the basket and stuff? Leave it here?"  
"April will take care of it."

They left, scaling down the building, went down into the sewers and made their way home hands entwined. "Raph," Leo said. "This has been the most amazing night. Thank you."  
"There's plenty more of them ta come, Fearless," Raphael said, leaning in for a deep kiss. 

BACK IN THE PRESENT

Raphael had now downed five beers and was extremely drunk. He heard voices outside the window, peered out and saw what looked to be a mugging. His blood started to boil and the familiar emotion of rage took over from the numbness he'd felt. He had to pummel the creeps and protect the lady. Raphael leapt out of the window, landing on the ground below. Then he pulled out his sai and snarled, "Leave her alone. Get outta here, punk."  
"Or what, freak?" the thug said, brandishing his knife.

The woman screamed, as she took in Raphael's features, forgetting about her purse, and ran off.

"Or this," Raphael said, springing at the thug. Unfortunately for Raphael, thanks to the alcohol, his reflexes weren't as sharp as usual and the thug was able to step aside unharmed. Raphael landed on his caparace with a loud crash. Growling, he groggily stood up and lunged forward. The thug anticipated it and had his knife ready. He plunged it deep into Raphael's chest. Raphael's eyes widened in shock and he collapsed forward with a dull thud, blood gushing out of his wound and pooling around him. The thief spat at him, kicked him in the side, picked up the purse and headed off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Raph. Can the others find him in time?


	6. Tragedy strikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say bad things come in threes.

Leo had wanted to run after Raphael, but Don had said he needed space and would come home. The leader had reluctantly agreed and then called his family to the kitchen to talk. They sat at the kitchen table and Leo said, "Guys, I need to tell you something. What I have to say isn't easy."  
"What is it, my son?" Splinter said, concern in his brown eyes.  
"I have colon cancer. Stage four. Don says I have months. Maybe even weeks."  
Splinter's jaw dropped, he pressed a hand to his stomach and let out an agonized moan. Then clutching his stomach, he fell onto the floor.

"Quick. Help me," Don screamed, racing to Splinter's side. His brothers stared at him in shock and disbelief.

"What happened?" Leo asked, rushing over to Don.  
"Dad just had a heart attack," Don said. "Leo, get hold of Raph. He needs to be here." Don started CPR, tears running down his cheeks. Please make it, Dad, he thought. 

Leo called Raphael and getting voicemail, said, "Raph, Dad just had a heart attack. Come home. We need you." He ended the call and went over to Don. "Any luck?"  
Don shook his head. "No, Leo. I'm doing the best I can. Mikey, call April and Casey. Leo, stay with me."

Mikey called April and said, "April, Dad's sick. Please come as soon as you can. We need your help."

There was the sound of a baby wailing coming from one of the bedrooms. "I'll go," Mikey offered. He hurried to where the sound was coming from. Leo and Raphael's bedroom. He went inside the room and picked up a sobbing Alyssa. Mikey pressed a hand to her forehead and thought, shit. She's burning up and it doesn't look good. Amy woke up too and started to cry. Mikey picked her up and checked her forehead. She too, was hot. No, no. I have to get them to Don, he thought. He'll know what to do. Mikey hurried to Don and said, "The babies are burning up."  
"Give one to Leo...."

"I'll look after them," Chloe, who was a friend of Mikey's and who helped babysit the kids, said. "Mikey, you and Leo stay with Don." She took the babies from Mikey, got cloths and tried to cool the babies down, talking soothingly all the while.

"And how is he now?" Leo asked, dreading the answer.  
"His pulse is fainter," Don said. "Mikey, did you call April and Casey?"

"Yeah." Mikey said. "I'll try Raph again." He pulled out his T-phone, dialed Raphael's number and getting voicemail said, "Come home now. Dad's had a heart attack and the twins are very sick. We need you." He ended the call and said, "Chloe, how are things over there?"  
"Not good. I'll take them into the infirmary and monitor them. Their fevers will hopefully break soon."

Don worked frantically on Splinter for a long time. Then shaking his head sadly, he said, "I'm sorry, but he's gone. The shock of Leo's illness was too much for his old, weak heart."  
Don stood up, threw his arms around his brothers and they embraced for a long time, tears shed by all. Their dad was gone and the impact of his death hit them all hard. Life would never be the same again. 

The entrance to the lair opened and Casey and April entered, calling, "Guys? We were out to dinner when we got Mikey's call."  
"In the kitchen," Leo said.

The humans entered the kitchen and took in Splinter's prone body. April bit her lip and asked the dreaded question, fearing the answer. "Is he dead? Mikey said he was sick, but now he's dead? We were too late. I'm so sorry." Hot tears glistened in her eyes and she folded Don into a gentle hug.

Don gently pulled away and said, "Leo told Dad about his terminal illness and he keeled over. It was too much for him to bear."

"You're sick, Leo?" April said in horror.  
"Cancer. Stage four."  
"I'm so sorry, Leo," April said and wrapped her arms around him. "Does Raph know?"  
"Raph knows."  
"Where is he?"  
"He bolted when I told him the news. I don't know where he is."  
"I'm sure he'll be back soon, Leo."  
"I hope so. I need him. We need him."

"I'm sorry, guys," Casey said. "Your old man was a good guy. I'll miss him."

"What now?" Mikey asked sadly.  
"I'll get Dad cleaned up," Don said. "Then we have to take him to the farmhouse, where he'll be buried. You guys call Raph. Keep calling him." 

XXXXX 

The brothers helped move Splinter into the infirmary and placed him onto a stretcher. April and Casey went with them.  
Leo checked on his babies and asked anxiously, "They any better, Chloe?"  
"Not much, but I've got it under control. You boys focus on getting Raphael home."

Leo kissed his babies. Then he and Mikey made several calls to Raphael and left several texts.

Leo went into Dons lab and said, "I can't get hold of Raph."  
"I haven't started cleaning Dad up," Don said in a small voice. "It's too hard. I can't believe he's gone." He choked out a sob and added, "Dad's gone. Things are never going to be the same again."  
"Don, take a break. Mikey and I'll sit with Dad."

Don phone Raphael a couple of times and sent a few texts. Getting no answer either, he said crossly, "Nothing. Raph's not answering. Selfish ass. Running off like that and abandoning Leo. What a time to pull his temper tantrum!"

Chloe went over to Leo, fear and exhaustion etched on her face, and said, "Leo, Amy's doing a bit better, but I don't think Ali will make the night. She's really burning up and nothing helps."

"Leo, go be with your babies. I'll stay with Don," Mikey said. "Now."

Leo went with Chloe, his heart feeling like it'd shatter. No, no. Don't take my babies, he thought. I've lost Dad. I can't lose them too.

Mikey pulled out his cell, dialed Raphael's number and expecting voicemail, was ready to speak, but the phone rang and a feeble voice said, "Hello?"  
Recognizing his brother's voice, Mikey spoke before his hotheaded brother could say more. "Raph, I've been patient with you. We all have, but you're starting to piss me off. Running off like that when Leo needs you. We all need you. Dad's dead and your babies are sick. Get your fucking butt home!"  
"Mikey," Raphael croaked, his voice barely above a whisper.  
Mikey's anger quickly turned to concern, as he took in Raphael's raspy voice. "Raph, are you hurt?"  
"Stabbed," Raphael said and started to wheeze, as a coughing fit took hold of him. "Can't breathe. Tell Leo I love him and I'm sorry."

The line went dead. "No!" Mikey screamed. "Don, boot up your tracking device. We need to track Raph's phone. He's hurt."  
Leo had taken his kids upstairs to the bathroom, hoping that a cold bath would help break their fever. "Do I call Leo?" Don asked.  
"No. Do as I ask."  
Don booted up the machine, typed in Raphael's phone coordinates and said, "Got it. He's at Casey's apartment."  
"Good. We'll go now."  
"What about Dad?"  
"Don, we can't help Dad, but we can help Raph. Move it."

"We're going with you," Casey said.  
"No," Mikey said. "You can come, Casey. April, you'll stay with Leo and Chloe. Please."

"All right," April said. "I hope you find him."  
"We will," Mikey said. "I hope it's not too late."

Mikey, Casey and Don piled into Casey's truck and headed to Casey's apartment. I hope we're not too late, Mikey thought, silent tears running down his cheeks. We can't lose Raph too. We need him more than ever. Please let him make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can they find Raph in time?
> 
> Will the twins survive? How will they all cope with the loss of Splinter?


	7. Vigil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don, Mikey, and Casey find Raph.

Mikey, Don and Casey arrived at Casey's apartment. Looking out of the window, Don immediately spotted Raphael's prone body. "He's over there," Don said. "Quick." The trio climbed out of the van and raced to Raphael's side. Don checked his pulse. "His pulse is faint," he said. "And he's lost a lot of blood. We need to get him home fast, so I can treat him."  
"Is he going to die?" Mikey asked fearfully, feeling his stomach churn at the thought.  
"I don't know. Help me move him. We need to go."

They loaded Raphael into the back of the van. Mikey and Don sat with him, holding his hands, silent tears streaming down their faces, lost in their thoughts. Please make it, Raph, Don thought. We need you so much. Your kids need you, but Leo especially needs you. Hold on, tough guy.

XXXX 

Meanwhile, Leo was with his kids and giving them a cool bath. It seemed to be helping to his immense relief. "Amy's much better, Chloe," he said. "And Ali's fever's broken. Thank God. I honestly thought I was going to..."

Leo never got to finish his sentence, because there was a tremendous shout from the living room.

Leo went to investigate and saw Don, Mikey and Casey carrying Raphael's limp body. "What the hell happened?" Leo demanded, dreading the answer. "is he...?"  
"No," Don said. "But we need to get him to the infirmary fast. Mikey, Casey, get some towels and..."  
"What do you want me to do?"  
"Sit with him and tell him you love him. Tell him to fight. Just be there for him. I'm going to do my best, Leo, okay?"

Leo nodded dumbly, while the others carried Raphael into the infirmary and placed him on the stretcher. Taking Raphael's hand, Leo fought back tears and said, "Raph, I need you. The kids need you. You've always been a fighter. Fight. Don't quit on us." Leo pressed a kiss to Raphael's beak and said, "You're my rock, Raph. I'd be so lost without you. Don't go. Come back to us."

Don stitched up Raphael's wound and stemmed his blood flow. When he was done, he said, "I have some good news and some bad news, Leo."  
"Tell me."  
"The good news is I've stopped the blood flow and no major arteries have been affected. Raph would have died on the scene if the wound had been any further to the right."  
"And the bad news?"  
"He's lost a lot of blood, is in a coma and the longer he's comatose, the less likely it is that he'll wake up."  
"Which means?"  
"You should consider.." Don choked back a sob and said, "Have you guys discussed funeral arrangements?"  
Leo's heart sank and he nodded sadly. "We have. Raph wants to be cremated. Half of his ashes to remain in the lair in an urn and half to be buried where we had our honeymoon. He doesn't want a fancy memorial service. Just a couple of songs and a few words. But, Don. That's jumping the gun, isn't it? He's going to be fine, isn't he?"  
"I don't know, Leo, but I do think you should rest. You look exhausted."  
"No. I'm not leaving his side, Don. You hear me, Raph? I'm not going anywhere."  
"I'll sit with you."  
"No. I'm fine. Go have a break, Don. Make some coffee. Take a walk. And thanks for everything."  
"I'm not leaving you, Leo."  
"Thanks. Why, Raph, Don? Why did he have to do what he did? Run off like that? If he dies and I know I'm going to, our kids are going to be orphans. You hear that, Raph? You want our kids to be orphans?" Leo grabbed Raphael and shook him. "Come back to us, you selfish prick!" he yelled, hot tears falling down his cheeks and splashing onto Raphael's bedsheets. 

Don stood up and folded Leo into a tender embrace, as he sobbed unashamedly. "I'm so mad, Don and I'm devastated," Leo said, pulling away after a few minutes. "Mad he ran off like that and mad he got stabbed, but I'm maddest at myself for getting sick. If I wasn't sick, Dad would be alive, Raph wouldn't be dying and...."  
"Now listen to me, Leo. It's not your fault you're sick or that Dad's gone or that Raph got stabbed. None of it's your fault. Bad things sometimes happen to good people."

Leo didn't answer and sat down at Raphael's bedside, resuming his vigil. "I didn't mean to yell Raph," he said, grabbing Raphael's hand. "You're not a selfish prick. I didn't mean that. I just want you to come back to us. I love you so much and the thought of you dying shatters me. You can't die. Fight like you've never fought before. Fight for me and the kids. Don't give up." Leo hopped up onto the hospital bed and pressed his body against Raphael's, craving his warmth. Nuzzling into Raphael's plastron, Leo closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Raphael's shell. "I love you, Raph," he said. "I always will. Even when I'm no longer here, I'll love you. You can beat this, Raph. I know you can. Don't stop fighting. Please don't leave me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Raph make it?


	8. Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael talks to Splinter.

Raphael spotted a familiar person and went over to him. "Dad," he said.  
"My son," Splinter said, embracing him. "My wonderful son."  
"Where are we, Dad?" Raphael asked, pulling away.  
"Near the Gates of Paradise."  
"Are we dead?"  
"I am. You are not and I don't want you to join me just yet."  
"Yer dead? How?"  
"Leonardo told me his news and I had a heart attack. My already frail body could not take the news."  
"I don't wanna go back, Dad. Leo's sick. I can't cope with that and I can't look after four small kids on my own."  
"You won't be alone. You have your brothers. They'll move Heaven and earth to help you."  
"But it's not the same if Leo ain't there. I can't live without Leo."  
"You'll have to. Do you want those kids to be orphans?"  
"They'd be better off with Don and Mikey. I ain't gonna be able ta handle..."  
"Raphael," Splinter said sternly. "You're being selfish. Those poor babies need you."  
"But," Raphael said, his eyes filling with tears. "I ain't strong enough ta cope with losin' Leo."  
"You made a promise to Leonardo to honor him in sickness and in health and until death do you part, did you not?"  
"Yeah, but..."  
"There is no but, my son. You made a vow. You need to honor it, Leonardo and the children you brought into this world. They should not have to lose both parents."  
"But..."  
"Raphael, the road ahead will not be an easy one. It will be long, hard and full of obstacles, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel."  
"How? Leo's gonna die and I'll be alone, just like before."  
"You won't be alone. You'll have your children. Your beautiful children. They'll be your anchor, just like Leonardo was."  
"Don't mean squat. I don't want Leo ta die," Raphael said angrily. "Why can't it be me? It should be me. Leo's the good one. I ain't good like him."  
"Raphael, it is not for us to question God's actions."  
"Why not? What gives Him the right ta take Leo away from me?"  
Splinter sighed. "Do you believe in God, Raphael?"  
"What's my damn purpose, Dad? Is it ta suffer an endless string of disappointments? I'm a freak, who found love, only for it ta be ripped away by some entity that we don't even know for sure exists."  
"Raphael, your purpose is caring for your children and God doesn't..."  
“I don’t wanna talk 'bout God and what He doesn’t or does do. He's takin' Leo away from me and I'm so damn angry. Ya hear that, God?”  
“Stop it, my son. Ranting at God isn’t the answer. He didn’t cause Leonardo to get sick. Bad things sometimes happen to good people and remember I also suffered. I lost my life and I won't be able to be there for you, your children and for Leonardo in his last days. That wounds me to the core. Stop blaming Him, Raphael. It's pointless and unfair. You need to focus on the good. Your children and Leonardo. Go back and be with them. They need you and your strength."  
"But..."  
"You've always been strong, Raphael. You are the backbone of this family. They all need you now. Go back and make peace with God. Leonardo would not want you to carry around this ball of hatred. He'd want you to be strong and to love him and the children. You love Leonardo?"  
"With all my heart."  
"Then show him by going back. Leonardo believes in God, does he not?"  
"Yeah."  
"Raphael, there are so many beautiful things in life. Nature:the stars, the sun, the moon, the sky, endless wonders. They can't just have appeared out of the blue with that so called big bang theory. I believe they are too magical and too fantastical for that and had to be created by God. Your children are also miracles and angels. Gifts, are they not?"  
"Yeah."  
"You were also a gift, Raphael. A precious gift for me to love and nurture and I did. Do you get what I mean?"  
"I do, Dad, and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, but I'm broken. I love Leo so much, it hurts knowin' he's dyin' and I'm gonna be left alone. That I'll never be able ta love him and hold him."  
"It will be tough, Raphael, but you need to think about the children and not what you're feeling. That's what being a parent is all about."  
"I'm scared, Dad. Of when Leo dies and raisin' the kids afterwards. What if I screw up?"  
"You won't. You're already a wonderful father, Raphael. You're going to make a full recovery and have a good life ahead of you. And you'll continue being an exceptional father. Donatello and Michelangelo will help you."  
"But without Leo," Raphael said sadly. "I can't do it."  
"You can," Splinter said, pressing his hand to Raphael's heart. "I have faith in you. I always have and I'll be watching over you, Raphael. I love you. Go back now, my son." Splinter embraced him. Then he walked away.

Raphael watched him go, tears streaming down his face. I can't do it, he thought. I can't go back. I can't face losin' Leo.  
A dark haired and dark eyed woman approached him. “Hi, Raphael," she said  
“Do I know ya?”  
“No. You don’t. I'm Amber, but we've never met.”  
“Then how do ya know my name?”  
“We can look down and see everything. Why don’t we sit on that bench over there in the park and talk?”  
“Why?”  
“Because there’s a lot I have to say."

They went to a bench and sat down. "Raphael," Amber said. "Please go back and be there for Michelangelo."  
"How do ya know my brother?"  
"We went out for six months and were happy. Then I was killed by a drunk-driver."  
"Mikey never told me 'bout ya."  
"Course he didn't. He bottled things up, because he didn't want to bother anyone."  
"That's dumb. He could have told me."  
"He didn't want to rain on yours and Leo's parade. That's Mikey to a T, always thinking of others. Anyway, losing Leo's going to be hard, but Mikey can't afford to lose you too, Raphael. It'll kill him."  
"I can't handle goin' back and seein' Leo die. And it's peaceful here. I wanna stay."  
"It's very calm here, but it’s not your time. Go back. Be there for Michelangelo, your kids and Leo. Go now. I need to go. Promise me you'll go back."  
"Will we ever meet again?"  
"I hope not, because I want you to have a long life."

Raphael watched her walk away. I know I should go back, he thought, but I can't deal with Leo and the kids. I'm gonna stay here. Raphael spent a long time looking at the flowers nearby.

"You’re still here?” Amber said two hours later, as she approached the bench. “Raphael, why haven’t you gone back yet?”  
“Don’t wanna."  
“What about your family?”  
Raphael shrugged. “They’ll be okay without me. Don and Mikey will help Leo and they'll care for the kids when Leo passes.”  
“They won't. They need you. Go back.”  
“I’m not goin'. Ya can’t make me.”  
“So you’re just going to give up and stay here?"  
“Pretty much. Leo will be here soon and I can be with him."  
“You've always be a warrior, but now you're quitting when there's no quit and when people need you more than ever. How selfish! How can you walk away and abandon Leo, your babies and your brothers? I'd love to be with my family, to hug them, kiss them and spend another hour or another day with them, but I’ll never get that opportunity. This is my home now, but you can still go back. I think you’re being extremely selfish.”  
“Selfish? Ya got no idea…”  
“Yes, selfish. Your family need you and you want to stay here and do what? Stare at the flowers for eternity? I won’t let you. You’re going back now.”  
Raphael laughed scornfully. “So because ya say so, I gotta?”  
Amber nodded. “Life’s not going to be easy at first, Raphael. You’ll have amnesia and will be in tremendous agony for a while, but you’ll have your family, who want and need you very much and you’ll get through it. And your family will be your strength when it's Leo's time. Your children need you, Raphael. Think of them and of Leo. He hasn't slept all night and has been by your side. He's barely touched any food. He needs his strength to fight the cancer, Raphael, and he can't worrying about you. It's draining him physically and emotionally."  
"All right. I'll go back, but..."  
"No buts. Just go back. Tell Mikey I love him and it's okay for him to move on. That he needs to. That I want him to find love again. Will you do that?"  
"I will."

Raphael stirred and blinked his eyes. "Thank God,” Leo said. “You’re awake, Raph. Oh, Raph." Leo grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to his beak.  
"Who are ya, who am I? And why am I here?" Raphael winced at the pain in his chest. "That hurts.”  
“I’m Leo, your mate, and you're Raphael. Don't you remember?"  
"No."  
"Don! Get in here, Raph's awake."

Don had been walking past the infirmary and he poked his head in. "Raph's awake, Don," Leo said. "But he doesn't remember anything."  
Don went to Raphael and said, "Do you know who I am?"

"No," Raphael said.  
"I'm your brother, Don. Do you know who he is?"  
"No."  
"He's Leo, your mate."  
"I'm married? Huh?"  
"That's right, your name is Raphael and you and Leo have four kids together. Don't you remember?"  
"We do?"  
"Leo, I think he's suffering from retrograde amnesia. What day is it?”  
“I have no idea.”  
“Who’s the president of the U.S?"  
"I don’t know. Stop askin' me questions. I don’t know.”  
“Who am I?”  
“Don.”  
“Very good. I’ll be right back. Leo, come with me."

My chest hurts, Raphael thought. I need somethin' for the damn pain!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bittersweet times.


	9. Memories lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don and Leo talk about Raphael and the road of recovery. Raphael does something shocking.

Don, Leo, Mikey, April, Casey and Chloe were seated at the kitchen table and had been filled in about Raphael. "What now, Don?" Leo asked.  
"Raph's amnesia could be permanent or temporary. Too early to tell."

"So Raph has no memories and can only remember the present, Don?" Mikey said.  
"That's right. He doesn't even remember his and Leo's wedding day."

"Is there anything else we need to know, Don?" Casey asked.  
"Raph's in severe pain. I'll give him medication for that and I expect he'll be in the infirmary for a while. The good news is he can talk and he can move his legs."

"What about emotionally?" April said.  
"I don't know," Don said. "Most patients, who've sustained brain trauma suffer from bouts of depression and memory loss. Some have suicidal tendencies and some have even been known to have a complete personality change. It's really too soon to tell.”

"Can we see him, Don?" Casey asked.  
"I think only Leo and I should see him for now. He'll be overwhelmed if we crowd him. Come, Leo."

"You're probably right, Don," April said. "We'll go home and come back tomorrow. Leo, know that we're here for you." April patted Leo's shoulder. "And we're really sorry about Splinter. We loved him too."

"Yeah," Casey said. "Call us if you guys need anything."  
"We'll be needing a casket," Leo said. "We want to bury him tomorrow. Some flowers would be lovely and..." Leo choked back a sob. "I can't believe he's gone." April hugged him and he buried his head on her shoulder and wept bitterly. "Sh, Leo," she said. "It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be fine."  
"How can it be?" Leo asked, pulling away. "Dad's dead, Raph has amnesia and I have cancer. Nothing's ever going to be fine. Face the reality. I am."

There was uncomfortable silence. Nobody knew what to say, because they all knew Leo was right. Finally, April said, "Leo, we'll all be here for you, Raph and the kids. You won't be alone."  
"I appreciate that. Excuse me. I'm going to see my husband, while I still can."

XXXX 

Don followed Leo into the infirmary. Raphael was sitting up, his eyes focussed on Splinter on the hospital bed next to him. "Who's that?" Raphael asked.  
"Dad," Leo said.  
"But he's a rat," Raphael said, blinking in confusion. "How can he be our dad? We ain't like him. And if he's our dad, then we're brothers and it's wrong bein' together."  
"Long story. Dad had a feud with a bad guy called Oroku Saki. He fled Japan, came to New York and found refuge in the sewers. His only friends were rats and he was exposed to some goo called mutagen. His body took on the form of a rat, because he'd been near rats. We were four ordinary pet shop turtles that landed up in the sewers. Dad took us in and cared for us. We also became exposed to that goo and took on a humanoid form. We're part turtle and part human. Dad then raised us as his sons and taught us Ninjitsu. He knew we needed to defend ourselves, because we were different and would run into trouble. We use our skills to fight crime."  
"So we're brothers?"  
"No. Not biologically, Raph. Don ran tests and we're not related."  
"Oh. So I'm a ninja?"  
"Yes. Your weapon is the sai."  
"Why's he so still? Is he dead?"  
"Yes."  
"Oh. How?"

"He got some bad news," Don said. "And had a heart attack."  
"What news?" Raphael said.  
"You know what, Leo?" Don said quickly. "Raph needs rest. Here, Raph. Let me give you something for the pain." Don injected him with morphine. "It'll take a few minutes for you to feel the effects."  
"I am kinda tired," Raphael said and yawned. 

"You hungry, Raph?" Leo asked. "I can get you some food. Whatever you want."  
"No. I just wanna sleep," Raphael said irritably. "Listenin' ta ya two makes my head hurt."  
"You sure? You need to eat. How about some roast chicken and vegetables?"  
"I said I wanna sleep."  
"You need anything else?"  
"Go already!"  
"I'm so glad you made it, Raph. I honestly thought you wouldn't and do you want to see the babies? I can bring them now. Leo jr, Lily, Amy and Alyssa. You'll love them."  
"Get out," Raphael snapped. "I wanna sleep. Why won't ya damn listen? Scram, ya whingin' moron!" Leo bent down to kiss his forehead. Raphael grunted and turned his head away.

Don and Leo left. 

XXXX 

"Can I bring the babies to see him later, Don?" Leo said.  
"Not yet. Raph's a shadow of himself. He’s confused, shattered, prone to mood swings and he doesn’t know who he is and who we are. He has no past memories and he’s also in great pain. Let him rest. We don't want to overwhelm him, Leo."  
"Why's he such an ass?"  
"He probably doesn't mean to be, but he's confused. Give him time. I know you want him to remember your life together, but you have to be patient."  
"What if he never remembers?" Leo said sadly.  
"We'll cross that bridge if it happens, but in the meantime just love him and be there for him, but don't be pushy and don't overwhelm him."  
"I'll try, but..."  
"Leo, it's been a hellish, long night. Get some sleep. You're worn-out."  
"But, Raph needs me," Leo protested.  
"I'll check on him, but you need sleep now. No arguing. Go."  
"Fine," Leo said reluctantly. "Thanks for everything."  
"Straight to bed,"  
"Thanks again, Don. I don't know how we'd cope without you either."

XXXX 

Leo went to his room and gazed down at his sleeping twins in their crib. He pressed a kiss to their foreheads and smiled. Daddy's so happy you're both fine now, my angels, Leo thought. Sleep well. Your other Daddy's home, like I promised, and he's going to be fine too. Leo climbed into bed and was soon fast asleep.

XXXX 

Don checked on Raphael three hours later and found him trying to get out of bed. "No," Don said, rushing over to him. "You're too weak."  
"I need ta fuckin' pee. I ain't peein' all over myself."  
"You're too weak, Raph. Let...."  
"Fuck off."  
"Then let me help you."  
"I don't need yer damn help. I can do it myself." Raphael tried to stand, but his legs started to wobble. Don grabbed hold of him and said, "I'll help you, Raph. Don't be stubborn."  
"Fine, but don't ya dare watch me."

Don helped him to the bathroom and onto the toilet. When Raphael was done, he said, "I can walk back ta bed myself."  
"You can't, Raph. And you know it."

Don helped Raphael to bed, the emerald skinned turtle grumbling all the way.

When Raphael was settled in bed, he said, "Damn. Service here blows. I'm hungry."  
"I'll get some food, Raph," Don said calmly. "Okay?"  
"It's not comin' fast enough," Raphael snapped.

Don went in search of food and soon returned with a tray on which was a glass of water, a plate of lasagne and jelly and custard. "Here you go, Raph," he said, settling the plate onto Raphael's lap. "Can you feed yourself?"

Raphael tried, but he was still weak and he shook his head, so Don fed him. "How is it, Raph?" he asked.  
"Tastes like old leather boots."  
"Have you eaten old leather boots?”  
“No, but this stuff’s horrible. I wouldn’t feed it ta my dog. Do I got a dog?”  
“It’s not that bad. Think of all the starving people in the world, who’d be grateful for it. You should be thankful.”  
“For what?”  
“You’re able to have a meal, you have people who love you and you’re alive. A lot to be thankful for?”  
“I’d rather be dead than eat this shit.”  
“Don’t say that,” Don said angrily.  
“Why not?”  
“I lost my dad and it saddens and infuriates me that you’d say that.”  
“Yeah, well it’s the truth.”  
Don finally lost his patience and snapped, "You finish your damn meal, Raph, and then the jelly and custard. Then you'll rest. Do you hear me?”  
“Ya can’t make me.”  
“I said did you hear me?”  
“Whatever,” Raphael said sulkily and accepted the rest of the lasagne.  
“You’re very lucky, Raph, and your attitude's terrible. Dad was taken too soon from us and he loved life and lived it to the fullest. Yet all you do is complain when you should be grateful you’re alive. I appreciate you’re in pain, but there’s no need to be difficult. Eat the jelly.” Don offered it to him and Raphael ate it. When he was done, Don handed him a glass of water and moved the tray to another bed. “Drink the water, Raph.” Raphael did as he was told and Don then administered more medication. “Now sleep, Raph.”  
“Can ya stay with me until I fall asleep?”  
“Sure.”  
“Do ya got kids?”  
"No?”  
“Are ya married?"  
“No.”  
“Are ya gay?”  
“No."  
"Too bad. Yer kinda hot in a nerdy way."  
"I like a girl. Get some sleep, Raph."  
"Ya sure yer not in denial and yer really gay?"  
"I'm sure."  
"Ya think I'm hot?"  
"Raphael! You're with Leo and you love him."  
"Leo seems like a bore. All he does is fuss and whine. So. am I hot?"  
"I'll see you later, Raph." Don made to take the tray.  
"I guess that's a yes," Raphael said and smirked. "Maybe we can go on a date when I'm better. I'll show ya some things," Raphael added huskily. "Ya like show and tell, because I got somethin' really big ta show ya? Ya like that idea? I sure do. I'm ready when ya are."

Don ran out of the room, forgetting all about the tray. Damn. That was weird, he thought. Raph hitting on me. He's like a complete stranger. Not the Raph we know and love. I have to keep reminding myself of that and that he doesn't know what he's doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New complications. Will Raph ever regain his memory?


	10. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey tries to get Raphael to regain his memories.

"Hi," Leo said later that day. Don and Mikey were with him. Leo bent down and kissed Raphael on the forehead. "How you feeling, Raph?"   
"Yer my husband, that's Don and that's...I don't know. Have we met?" Raphael asked.

"Raph, I'm your youngest brother, Mikey," Mikey said.  
"Oh. Well, I feel like shit. I had lousy lasagne and I damn hate the food here. Don, can ya bring me somethin' decent, like pizza? I think I love pizza."  
"Will do."  
"One consolation is that my doctor's so hot," Raphael said, looking meaningfully at Don. "I'd date him."

"I'll get the pizza," Don said quickly and fled the room. 

"Is that so, Raph?" Leo asked frostily.  
"Oh, yeah.”  
“What am I? Chopped liver?”' Raphael shrugged. "Well, Raph," Leo continued. "We're going to take a vacation somewhere tropical when you're better. Would you like that?”  
“Can Don come with us?”  
“No,” Leo said tersely. “Just us."  
“Just because we’re married don't mean I can’t have fun.”  
“What?” Leo asked in shock.  
“Monogamy’s so borin', don’t ya think? Imagine bein' with the same person for sixty plus years and never bein' with anyone else? How dull is that? I want ours ta be an open marriage. What do ya think? And we should totally try a threesome.”  
Leo's jaw dropped in shock. “I’m going to go now. I’ll be back later, Raph.”

"What’s his problem, Mikey?” Raphael asked.  
“Your attitude. That was rude.”  
“No. It was honest. We might be married, but he can’t expect me ta be faithful.”  
“That’s the point of marriage.”  
“Then I fuckin' wish I ain't gotten married. Why did I? It can’t be love, can it, because he seems like a tool?”  
“Raph, you love Leo and he loves you. That was uncool.”  
“Why would I want a borin' guy when I can have Don, who’s smart and hot?”  
“I think you need some sleep.”  
“And ya need ta lighten up. Man, everyone seems tense. Does anyone get laid? Do ya?”  
“Raph!”  
“I guess not. When I leave here, I’m gonna go on a date with my doctor and get laid.”  
“What about Leo?”  
“He can watch if he wants.”  
Mikey changed the subject and said, "Leo said that you have no past memories. I'll be back now, okay?"

When Mikey returned, he was carrying a photo album. He sat down next to Raphael's bed, opened it and pointed at a photo. "Who's that, Raph?"  
"I don't know."  
"That's our friend, April."  
"Now who's this?" Mikey said, pointing at a photo.  
"Leo." "That's right. That's you and him at your wedding. It was a very beautiful day."  
"I don't wanna do this. Where's my damn pizza?"  
"Bear with me, Raph. Who's this little boy in this photo?"  
Raphael squeezed his eyes shut and refused to look. "I said I don't wanna do this."  
"Come on, Raph."  
"No," Raphael yelled. "I don't wanna do this. I never lost my memory in the first damn place. Leave me alone." Fierce tears ran down Raphael's cheeks.  
"What do you mean?"  
"It fuckin' means I never had amnesia, Mikey. I pretended, so I didn't have ta deal with Leo and his illness. I know I flirted with Don, but it was all parta he act ta block out what's goin' on now, so I didn't have ta deal. Do ya understand?"  
"You'll need to tell Leo. He's been so damn worried."

"Tell me what?" Leo asked, entering the room.  
"Did Don get the pizza, Leo?" Raphael asked.  
"It's cooking."

"I'll leave you two," Mikey said, glaring at Raphael. "You have a lot to discuss."

"What's that about, Raph?" Leo asked.  
"Nothing."  
"Hamato Raphael Firenzi! I know when you're lying, so quit it and talk to me."  
Raphael rubbed the back of his neck nervously and took a deep breath. "It's like this, Leo. I never had amnesia. I pretended, so I didn't have ta deal with yer illness. I'm terrified of losin' ya and I didn't wanna deal with it so I...."  
"You mean you're fine and that thing about Don?"  
"All parta the charade. I got zero interest in Don. How could I when I got the best thing that ever happened ta me? Ya. I'm so scared, Leo. I don't know how I'm gonna cope with the kids and ya not bein' here. My insides feel like they're on fire. I don't think I can do it."  
Leo's face had darkened with anger at being lied to, but now it softened and he looked at his mate with pity. Sitting down next to the bed, he took Raphael's hand in his and said, "I'm scared, too, Raph. Knowing I'll never see the kids grow up and that I'm leaving you hurts so much. Leaving you with the responsibility. But you know what? I have faith in you, Raph. You're going to be fine."  
"I wish it were me instead," Raphael said, gripping his hand tightly. "It should be me."  
"Hey. Don't say that. I'm glad it's me and not you. I couldn't sit back and watch you die. It'd kill me."  
"It's doin' that ta me, Leo. I'm nothin' without ya. Nothin'."  
Leo nuzzled his beak against Raphael's. "Rubbish. You're so strong and amazing and you'll be fine. I won't be here, Raph, but I'm going to watch over you and the kids and I'll always be in your heart."  
"Ain't the same as havin' ya with me."  
Leo looked into his eyes. "No, Raph. It isn't, but we have to accept that's going to happen and we have to hold on to what we have."  
"And what do we have?"  
"Our love. Even when I'm gone, our love will burn as brightly as the stars. Our children are reflections of our love and they're our legacies, Raph."  
"I don't want ya ta die," Raphael said, He pulled Leo against his plastron and sobbed bitterly. "I want ya with me always."  
"I don't want to leave you," Leo said, tears shining in his eyes. "But I will have to. Do you know a song called the Energy never dies by the Script?"  
"No."  
"Basically, it means the energy/life/love never dies when we pass on. We're on the other side waiting for those we love to join us. And our love won't die no matter what happens. Our beautiful, strong love. Listen to that song, please."  
Raphael hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry for lyin' ta ya, Leo."  
Leo gently pulled away and said, "Raph, let's promise to always be open and honest with each other and to enjoy the remaining time we have left. We need to make some happy memories for us and for the kids. The younger ones won't remember, but the older ones might and you can tell them all about the wonderful times we had together. Personally, I don't want my remaining days to be full of doom and gloom. Can you do that for me?"  
"I'll try, Leo," Raphael said, stifling back a sob.  
Leo gently thumbed his tears away and said, "Good. We'll start with a vacation. I'm still well enough to travel."  
"Where ta?"  
"Oh, Raph. Surely you know?"  
"Our place."  
"Uh huh. I'll ask April later today."  
Raphael nodded. "Just us?"  
"The whole family. I want everyone with us, but we'll still get time alone together. I think it'll be great. Fun, sun, and you."  
"I don't know. I want just us."  
"Raph, we'll get time alone together, but the others are also upset and want time with me. Please understand. Plus, we've just lost Dad. It'll be good for us all."  
"All right, but the minute ya feel sick and ya need ta come home, ya tell me. And ya don't exhaust yourself."  
"I promise. Now, I was thinking...."  
Raphael pulled him close again. "Leo, don't talk. Just hold me. That's all I want. Ta feel ya with me and ta never let me go."  
Leo pressed a kiss to his beak and hugged him. "I'm here, Raph. I'm here and I love you. I'll always love you."

The couple clung to each other, not wanting to let go; terrified, knowing their days together were numbered. I'll never love anyone else, Raphael thought. No one could ever come close ta Leo. No one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last Raphael remembers.


	11. Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Splinter's funeral.

Later that day, Donatello went into the infirmary and said, "Leo, Raph, I'm going to prepare Dad for the funeral."  
"Want me to go?" Leo asked.  
"No. I'd like you both here and I think Dad would too." 

"Hey, Don," Raphael said. "That amnesia was just an act." Raphael filled him in.  
Don gasped in amazement and then he said sternly, "Wasn't right to lie, Raph, but I do understand why you did it. And I'm glad you don't like me that way. Would have made things very awkward." "So we're cool then?"  
"We're cool, but don't ever pull a stunt like that again. You really worried Leo and the last thing he needs is more stress."

Donatello gently washed Splinter's body and blocked his orifices with cotton, which was the custom. Then he dressed him in a kimono crossed right over left, turned his head to the north and kissed his dad. Tears streamed down his cheeks. "I can't believe he's gone," he said.  
"Us either," Raphael said, squeezing Leo's hand. "Feels so surreal."

"It does," Leo agreed. "It won't be the same without Dad. What's going to happen now, Don?"  
"If Casey can get a casket, we'll place a pair of sandals, six coins and licorice in it with him."

"Why those things, Don?" Raphael asked.  
"In accordance with Buddhist custom, the six coins are for crossing the River of Three Crossings and Dad loved his licorice. We don't have an altar, so this will have to do for tonight. We'll stay with him and keep vigil. Then we'll bury him tomorrow and have the funeral proper."  
Mikey appeared an hour later and the night slowly passed. 

XXXX 

Don's phone rang in the morning and he said, "Yeah?"  
"It's Casey. April's at the farmhouse getting things ready and we have the casket. I'll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes."  
"Thank you so much, Casey. We appreciate it."  
Don hung up and relayed the news to Leo and Raphael.

"Help me get up and dressed, Leo," Raphael said.  
Leo shook his head. "No, Raph. You're still too weak."  
"Damn it. He was my dad too and yer just gonna leave me here? I'm goin'!"  
"What if your stitches reopen?"  
"I'll take that risk. I'm goin' and ya can't stop me!"  
"Fine, but you stay in the wheelchair we got for Dad's old age."  
"Whatever, but I'm goin'. And the kids?"  
"I'll ask Chloe to look after them. They're too small to attend."

XXXXX 

Everyone dressed in black suits with white shirts and black ties and were ready when Casey arrived. He also wore a black suit. "Ready, guys?" he asked.  
"Yes," Leo said, helping Raphael into a wheelchair. "Remember the deal, Raph. You stay seated."  
Raphael rolled his eyes and said,"Whatever ya say, babe. Just quit naggin'! Chloe, thanks for agreein' ta mind the kids."

"No, problem," Chloe said. "Everything will be fine and once again, my deepest condolences. Splinter was a great person and I'll miss him. I'd better check on the kids. I left them playing in Leo jr's room."  
"Speakin' of them," Raphael said. "Tell Leo ta share the TV with his sister and ta also let her watch what she likes. She don't like Space Heroes. And don't leave them alone with crayons. They drew all over the walls the last time I did."  
Chloe laughed. "I won't."

"And please feed them if we're not back by dinner time," Leo said. "But no sugar."  
"Roger that," Chloe said. 

"And Leo likes bein' read the Fantastic Fox," Raphael said. "Anytime of the day."  
"I know, Raph," Chloe said irritably. "I've been caring for them since their birth. Go. Things will be fine."  
"Ya got our numbers, right?"  
"Yes. I have all the numbers. Go."  
"One last thing. Ya know what ta do if we don't come home, right? Somethin' coulda happened ta us."  
"It won't come to that, Raph."  
"But ya know what ta do if it does, right?"  
"Raphael, we've been over that a million times. I know what to do. Now go."  
"I wanna say goodbye ta the kids. We got time, Casey?"

"Yeah," Casey said.  
"Okay then," Raphael said. "Push me, Leo." His mate wheeled Raphael to Leo jr's bedroom and they went inside. 

"Daddy!" Lily said, running to her dads and trying to climb onto Raphael's lap.  
"Lily, don't," Leo warned. "Your dad's been hurt. Take it, easy."  
"You have a booboo, Daddy?" Lily asked.

"Need us to kiss it better?" Leo jr said.  
"No," Raphael said and smiled. "I'll be fine, but I gotta take things easy for a while. Yer dad and I are goin' out, but Chloe will be here with ya, okay?"  
"Okay, Daddy. Can I watch Space Heroes?"  
"Hah," Raphael said and chuckled. "Yer a chip offa the old block."  
"What do you mean, Daddy?"  
"Yer just like yer dad. Come here and give me and yer dad a kiss."

The children hugged and kissed their dads. "Be good," Raphael said. "And know that we love ya very much. We'll be back later." Chloe shut the door.

XXXX 

Casey, Don and Mikey fetched the stretcher with Splinter and placed it in the van, while Leo helped Raphael into it. "I can't believe this is happening," Mikey said mournfully, when Casey had started the engine. "Dad's really gone." Don was in front with Casey and Mikey, Leo and Raphael were in the back.  
"Me either," Leo said, reaching for Raphael's hand. "I miss him so much. He was the best dad we could have asked for. We owe everything to him."

"Best role model anyone could have had," Raphael said. "I'll even miss his lectures."  
"You haven't had one in a long time," Leo said.  
"Ya know why? Ya gave me love, Leo, and my temper ain't what it used ta be. Ya calmed me down. I was a real firecracker before we hooked up."  
"You're still that sometimes," Leo said and smirked. "But I love it when you are."

"Hey, hey," Don said, covering his ear slits. "Enough. No one wants to know what you do in the bedroom."  
"Ya sure, Don?" Raphael asked and stifled a laugh. "Because it's pretty excitin'. Might give ya some tips on what ta do when ya find a mate."

"Enough!" Mikey yelled. "This is the day of Dad's funeral and you're discussing your sex life. Show some damn respect!"

Suitably admonished and knowing Mikey was right, the conversation ceased until they got to the farmhouse.

XXXXX 

Mikey, Don and Casey carried the stretcher into the farmhouse, while Leo helped Raphael with his wheelchair. When they were inside, they saw that chairs and a large table had been set up in the lounge. Candles and incense sticks and vases of flowers were on top of the table and April was dressed in a black dress. "Hi," she said. "How are you guys doing?"  
"Could be better," Mikey said. 

"Agreed," Raphael and Leo said in unison.

"Thank ya for settin' this up, Ape," Raphael said. "Means a lot."  
"You're welcome. How are you, Raph?"  
"Little tender, but I'm sure I'll make a full recovery with Nurse Leo here "

April chuckled. "Has he been behaving, Leo?"  
"Most difficult patient I ever had," Leo quipped.

"Only patient ya ever had, Leo," Raphael said.  
"True, but doesn't change the fact you're difficult. But I love you anyway."  
"Aw. I knew ya cared," Raphael said playfully, grabbing his hand.

"When you're done with your love fest, can we get the show on the road?" Mikey demanded.

April raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Mikey, Don, Leo and Casey placed Splinter into the casket and set it onto the table. Then the boys placed coins, licorice and a pair of sandals into it. "One more thing," Mikey said. "Dad loved this blue scarf." He placed it in the casket. They went to sit down, but Leo didn't. 

Leo offered up incense and chanted a sutra. Then he said, "Dad gets a new Buddhist name. I brought a calligraphy pen with me." Leo bent down and wrote on a piece of paper in Kanji. Then he placed the paper in the casket. "Dad's new name is Ryōdō. Roughly translated, it means awake to the way. I'd like to thank everyone for attending. Dad would be humbled you're all here. He wasn't a great talker and he asked for his service to be simple. I'm pleased we've adhered to his final wishes. Leo choked back a sob and said, "It's hard summing up someone's life in a few sentences, but I'll try. Today we’re not mourning the loss of Dad. We’re celebrating his life and he had a rich and varied one. Dad had a quiet manner about him. Some people mistook that for weakness, but he wasn't weak. He was always loving and gentle, opening his heart to everyone he met. That was the core of his character: love. He took us in, raised us and gave us a life no one else would have done. He wasn't just my dad. He was one of my best friends." Leo paused, as tears sprang to his eyes. Wiping them away with the back of his hand, he continued, "Dad taught us to be fearless warriors and how to protect others and ourselves. He taught us how to love, the Japanese customs, how to tell the time, read, and numerous other things. We'd talk for hours about anything and everything. I have many stories about him. One of my favorites is when Raph and I confessed our love to him. Instead of reacting with anger, like we feared, he embraced us and said, 'My sons, I am not upset nor am I shocked. You have always had a strong bond and I anticipated that this day would happen. My only sadness is that you felt such inner turmoil to be afraid that I'd turn you out. I give you my blessing and hope you two have a long and happy relationship. My only request is that this new found relationship does not interfere with that of the team and you do not value him more than the others, Leonardo.' Raph and I went on our first date that day and here we are five years later. Still blissfully in love. I'm proud to call you Dad, Dad, and I'll always treasure the moments we shared. I love you and I'll carry you in my heart forever." Leo went to sit down and clutched Raphael's hand.

Don was up next. Blinking back tears, he said, "I couldn't have had a better father. He encouraged and always believed in me, even when others didn't. I'll always miss him and the world's a little grayer without him in it. Like Leo said, he raised us and we were truly lucky to have had him. I feel so lost without him." Sobbing, Don went to sit down and was supported by Mikey.

April and Casey went up next and April read a short poem she'd written in honor of Splinter.

Then Mikey went up and said, "What else can I say? Everyone has basically said everything. I love you, Dad, and I don't understand why you had to go now. I'll never understand it, but I do know you'll always be in my thoughts and I look forward to the day I'll see you again." Mikey went to sit down and studied the ground, so no one could see the tears in his eyes.

Leo wheeled Raphael up next to the table and he said, "Dad was a pretty patient guy. Ya had ta be havin' me as a son. I gave him plenty of gray whiskers and I had so many lectures. 'Raphael, don't do that. Raphael, don't do this.' Yeah. I got them. I was a reckless, stubborn kid, who thought I knew everythin'. It wasn't till I had a family of my own that I realized how right Dad was 'bout everythin' and bein' with Leo's helped my temper. I ain't so angry no more. That's what love does. Calms ya. It also makes ya think everythin' is hunky dory and full of puppy dogs and unicorns. Well, it ain't. There's bad things too, but ya just gotta learn ta take things as they come and when they do, remember there's good too and ya'll get through it. I know I sound like a sap. Blame Fearless here." The audience chuckled. "Life's 'bout compromises, love, acceptance and tolerance and Dad strived ta teach us that. I was a late learner, I guess, but I got there in the end and it's all due ta Dad. He never gave up on me. I see myself in Leo jr sometimes when he fights with his sister. I'm sure I'm gonna have those chats, like Dad gave me." Raphael paused. Then he said, "But like Dad, I'll never give up on my kids and I'll be the best dad I can be until the day I die. I can't believe I'm standin' here sayin' all this stuff. It ain't right. We should be laughin' back at home with Dad and sittin' 'round a table. Anyway, Dad, thank ya for lovin' me and I'll try ta honor ya every single day. Me, Leo and the kids will always hold ya close and love ya." Leo hugged his mate and they went to sit down.

The service over, they all stood up and Leo said, "April got us some lovely flowers over there. I'm sure Dad would love it if we placed those lilies in it with him." The boys placed flowers in the casket around Splinter's head and shoulders. Then they kissed their dad one last time. Casey and April did the same. Then Leo nailed the casket shut with a stone and they went outside to an area Splinter had long ago chosen for his final resting place. Casey had dug a large hole and Leo, Don and Mikey lowered the coffin into it. One by one, they threw handfuls of sand in it. Raphael clung to Leo's hand, tears soaking his black suit. Then more sand was piled onto the casket until it was completely covered. "You guys want to go back inside? I've prepared a few snacks," April said. The boys nodded dumbly and followed her inside. They reminisced about Splinter, with many tears being shed. Splinter watched over them from above, a small smile on his lips. "I love you, my darling sons, and I'll always watch over you and your children."

The boys went home just after 7 p.m.

Leo and Lily were asleep and Raphael and Leo went into their rooms and kissed them goodnight. Then they went to their bedroom, did the same with their sleeping twins and crawled into bed. "Still think you should sleep in the infirmary tonight, Raph," Leo said.  
"I'm fine, Leo. Honest. I'll sleep better with ya next ta me."  
"I was thinking, Raph."  
"What 'bout?"  
"My funeral."  
"Shut up," Raphael snapped. "We just buried Dad. I don't wanna think 'bout yers!"  
"But we have to discuss it."  
"Not now. Damn it! I just wanna feel ya next ta me and I wanna love ya. Please."  
"All right, but we have to discuss it soon."  
Raphael snuggled up to him and rested his head on Leo's plastron. "I love ya, Fearless. Ya know that, right?"  
"I know that, Raph. I love you too."  
"So very much. Yer my strength, my rock, my deep love and my soulmate."  
"You were right. You are a sap," Leo quipped.  
"Call me whatever ya want. Don't care. All I know is I love ya and I always will."  
"I do too, Raph, and you're the best decision I ever made."  
"Likewise, Fearless. Go ta sleep. I got somethin' special planned for ya tomorrow and ya'll need yer strength."  
"Tell me what."  
"Nope."  
"Spoilsport," Leo said and laughed. "Night, Raph."  
"Night, Leo."  
The couple soon fell asleep, worn out after an emotionally draining day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The family will go on holiday. 
> 
> My apologies if I have not written the funeral scenes well. I'm not a Buddhist and am solely going on research.  
> Not sure if Splinter liked licorice, but in here he does.


	12. A new leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new leader is chosen for the family.

Leo and Raphael were woken by the ten day old twins at three a.m. the next day. "I'll go," Leo said, sitting up. Then he winced.  
"What's wrong, Leo?" Raphael asked, concern in his golden eyes.  
"My side hurts, Raph. Can you get a hot water bottle?"  
"Are ya gonna be able ta go out today? We can stay in and watch movies with the kids if ya can't. Maybe that's for the best."  
"No. Just get the hot water bottle and the formula. Then we'll talk."  
"Anythin' else ya want?"  
"Maybe some green tea, please."  
"Okay," Raphael said, scooping the babies up into his arms. "I'll be back now."

XXXXX 

Going past the lounge to the kitchen, he saw Don sitting on the couch. "Hi," Raphael said.  
"Hey. You're up early, Raph. The tykes hungry?"  
"Always. Could say the same 'bout ya. I mean, yer awake. Did ya go ta bed?" Amy squawked and Raphael kissed her forehead. "Sh. I'll get yer food now."  
"Was busy in the lab. Need help?"  
"Thanks," Raphael said, handing the twins to him. 

XXXXX 

They went into the kitchen and Raphael began preparing the formula and hot water bottle, while Don cradled the babies. "How's Leo?" Don asked.  
"His side hurts and he wants a hot water bottle. I'm scared, Don."  
"It's all right to be scared, Raph. I would be too. Think how Leo must feel."  
"Yeah. Fearless said he's damn frightened. It kills me seein' him like this, Don," Raphael said, his eyes filling with tears.  
"Know we're here for you. Always."  
"Thanks. Me, Leo and the kids are goin' ta the farmhouse for some family time this evenin'."  
"Given Leo's condition, do you think that's wise?"  
"It's only for two or three days, but we need ta go away and talk and I hope ta take the kids ta the beach. They ain't never been ta one. Leo said he misses the ocean. Remember we went there a couple of times growin' up? And I went when Leo and I had our honeymoon."  
"I think I should go with you. What if Leo collapses and you're all alone? I'll give you your family time when you want it, but you have to think logically."  
"I'd be fine."  
"You wouldn't be. Not with four small babies as well, besides I can watch them if you and Leo need some quality time alone."  
Raphael nodded. "All right. Thanks, Don. I appreciate it. We're gonna leave 'bout six."  
"I'll drive."  
Raphael found that the hot water bottles and the formula were ready. He handed the bottles to Don and took the hot water bottle to his bedroom. 

XXXXX 

"Here ya go, Leo," Raphael said, giving him the hot water bottle. Then he kissed his beak and said, "How ya feelin'?"  
"Thanks, Raph," Leo said, pressing the bottle to his side. "Much better. The kids eaten?"  
"Don's feedin' them. I'll get them in a bit. Shit. I forgot the green tea," Raphael said, slapping his hand to his forehead in annoyance.  
"It's okay, Raph. I'll have some later. Don't worry."  
"Ya think ya can travel? Raphael asked."  
"Where to?"  
"Not too far, Leo. Just ta the farmhouse. Casey and April said we could stay there for however long we wanted. I was thinkin' a couple of days, so we could talk and have some quality time. Just the six of us."  
"That'd be nice."  
"Don said he's gonna come with us ta help. In case ya know..." Raphael let the words trail off. "We can stay if ya don't feel like goin'."  
"I want to go. Bring your camera."  
"But the minute ya feel sick..."  
"I know, I know. Raph, things will be fine, especially now that Don's going to be with us. Stop worrying so much, my handsome hothead."  
Raphael smiled weakly. "I can't help worryin', Leo."  
"The kids will pick it up if you worry so much and I don't want them to. I want them to have fun, Raph. Come on. It's one of the last holidays we're taking as a family. Let's not be morbid and depressing. Please."  
"Fine. I'll try. I'll get the twins. Don musta finished feedin' them by now."

XXXX 

Raphael returned to the kitchen and saw Don still at the table. "They're almost finished, Raph," Don said. "Need any more help?"  
"Nah. Thanks, though. Ya should get ta bed."  
"Here you go," Don said, handing the babies to Raphael. "All done. They're so beautiful. You and Leo are so blessed."  
"We are," Raphael said, gazing down tenderly at his satiated babies. "See ya later, Don."

XXXXX 

Raphael took the kids back to his room, changed them, placed them in their crib and kissed them. "I love ya, girls," he said. "Yer Daddy Leo does too. Yer our angels and we'll love ya always." Raphael climbed into bed, looked at Leo and said, "I love ya, Leo. How ya doin' now?"  
"I love you too, Raph. Much better now." Leo snuggled up to him and said, "You're gorgeous, Raph. You know that? Inside and out. Love me. I want you to. Now."  
Leo gently kissed him and ran his fingers up and down Raphael's plastron. "I want you, Raph." He stared at Raphael, lust in his sapphire eyes.

Raphael had never been able to resist him and he couldn't now. He smashed Leo's mouth against his and things soon heated up, as their bodies twisted and writhed with their all-consuming passion.

Afterwards, breathing heavily, Raphael said, "That was amazin', Fearless."  
"Thank you, Raph. I needed that. I love you. Night."  
"Night, Fearless." Raphael closed his eyes and was soon asleep.

A few hours later, Raphael and Leo were asleep when the door to their bedroom opened and Leo jr and Lily ran in and jumped on the bed. "Daddy!" Leo jr yelled. "Wake up!"  
"Go away," Raphael said grumpily.

"Daddy!" Lily said, shouting into Raphael's ear slit. "Daddy, wake up. We want to play."

Raphael glanced at Leo, but he was still asleep. He's lucky he's a deep sleeper, Raphael thought crossly.

"Daddy!" Lily shrieked.  
"I'm comin' Lily. Sheesh. Stop already," Raphael said crossly. "Yer givin' me a headache. It's only six a.m."  
"But we want ta play, Daddy. Come on." She climbed onto her father's chest and looked into his eyes. "Please, Daddy."  
"Okay, okay."The twins started to cry and Raphael huffed in annoyance. "Thanks for that," he said. "Ya've woken yer sisters."  
"Daddy!"  
Raphael gently moved her off of him and sat up. "I'm comin', sweetheart. Take yer brother and go ta the kitchen. I'll be there now."

"Can we have pancakes for breakfast, Daddy?" Leo jr asked.  
"Yep, but go there now."  
"Is Daddy awake?"  
"No."

The kids ran out of the room. Raphael got up, changed the twins and turned his attention to Leo. Bending down, he whispered into Leo's ear slit. "I bet yer awake and ya pretended ya were asleep."  
"How'd you know?" Leo asked. He stifled a laugh and opened his eyes.  
"Ya sleep deep, but not that deep not ta wake from Lily's shriekin'."  
"You mad at me?"  
"No. Take it if ya want more sleep. I got things covered." Raphael bent down and nuzzled his beak against Leo's. "Come for breakfast when ya want."

"Daddy!" Leo jr yelled from the kitchen.  
"I said I'm comin', Leo!" Raphael shouted back. "Hold yer horses."

Raphael picked up the twins, went into the lounge, placed them in the pram and pushed them into the kitchen. 

XXXX 

Don was cooking and Mikey was keeping the kids occupied with crayons and paper until the food was ready. "Look what I made Daddy," Leo jr said proudly, holding up a piece of paper. "A bunny. Looks like Uncle Usagi. Can we put it on the fridge, Daddy?"  
"Sure, buddy," Raphael said and kissed his forehead. "Let me get the twins' breakfast ready and then I'll put it on the fridge."

"Leo asleep?" Mikey asked.  
"Uh huh," Raphael said, preparing the formula.

"Daddy, look at my picture," Lily yelled. "Daddy, look!" Raphael turned around. "It's a picture of all of us. See? You, Daddy, me, Leo, Amy and Ali."  
"Beautiful," Raphael said with a smile. "I'll put it on the fridge too, sweetheart."

Raphael fed the twins and breakfast was soon ready. They all sat down and tucked in. "Daddy?" Leo jr said.  
"Yeah, Leo?" Raphael said.  
"Can we watch Space Heroes after breakfast?"  
"Sure ya can, but Lily also wants ta watch TV, okay?"  
"Fine," Leo jr grumbled.

Raphael put the pictures on the fridge after breakfast. Then he seated the kids in the lounge with Don and Mikey. 

XXXX 

Raphael then went to the dojo to lift some weights. Leo was there to his surprise and was seated on the meditation mat. "Leo!" Raphael exclaimed.  
"I wanted to meditate, but I also wanted to talk to you and hoped we could talk privately. Sit."  
Raphael sat down and said, "What is it, Leo?"  
"I'm sick and my time's short, which means we have to appoint a new leader. I've come to a decision."  
"Don would be perfect. He's smart, clinical, logical and he's got my backin'."  
"No, Raph. I didn't pick Don."  
"Then Mikey? I know he clowns 'round, but he could handle bein' leader."  
"I disagree. I want you to lead our family, Raph. And I'm not saying it, because you're my mate. You've grown as a person, have better control of your temper, you think before you act a lot more and that's my wish."  
Raphael's jaw dropped. Then he said, "I don't want this, Leo. Yer leader and ya can't do this."  
"Yes, Raph. I have to and I am. You're the leader of our family from now on."  
"But, Leo," Raphael said, tears falling down his cheeks. "It's like sayin' yer really gonna die!"  
"I am, Raph," Leo said, sliding closer and pulling him into a hug. "Don't refuse this. It'd make me sad. Accept it and be the fantastic leader I know you will be. Please, Raph."  
"Fine," Raphael said through his tears and disengaged himself. "I will be, but don't expect me ta be happy 'bout it."  
"Good. And make sure all our kids know Ninjitsu. They'll need to learn to defend themselves, like we had to."  
"I won't be as good a teacher as ya, Leo."  
"You'll be fine. I have faith in you, my handsome lover. My extremely handsome lover. You still make my knees go weak when I see you, Raph."  
Raphael smiled. "Ya tryin' ta seduce me?"  
"Is it working?"  
"Maybe, but it's gotta. I guess ya wanna tell the family now."  
"Yes."

Raphael and Leo stood up, linked hands and went to the lounge. 

XXXX 

"I'm no longer leader," Leo said. "Raph is and I expect you to honor him and to listen to him, like you did to me."  
"You know we will," Mikey said. "Congrats, Raph."

"I'm sorry, Raph," Don said. "I know this is hard for you and Leo."  
"It is, but I'll be the best leader I can be ta honor Leo. Ya can count on that and I won't let ya down. I order ya ta clean up the lair for my first command. It's lookin' a bit messy."

"Whatever you say, oh wise and powerful Raphael," Mikey joked, earning a smack to his head from Raphael.

"Daddy, it's not nice to smack people," Leo jr said.  
"I was kiddin' with him, Leo," Raphael said, rolling his eyes.  
"Does that mean I can hit Lily?"  
"No. It don't. Ain't the same thing. Hey, guys. Can ya watch the kids? I wanna spend some time with Leo. Kids, yer dad and I'll be back later. Be good."

"Sure," Mikey said. "See you guys later."

XXXX 

"Where are we going?" Leo asked, as Raphael grabbed his arm and led him out of the sewers.  
"Ya said ya wanted ta seduce me. I know the perfect spot."

The lovers soon found the hideaway they used when they wanted alone time and spent the whole morning together with no interruptions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will Raphael adapt to his new role?


	13. Unexpected delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Leo take their brood to the farmhouse for family bonding and a miracle happens.

Later that day, Raphael, Leo, Don and the kids piled into the van and drove to the farmhouse. Don was driving, so Leo and Raphael could watch their kids, who definitely were handfuls. The twins sat on Raphael and Leo's laps. Lily was next to Leo and Leo jr was next to Raphael. "Daddy," Leo jr said, turning to Raphael. "Where are we going?"  
"Ta the farmhouse," Raphael said. "Remember we went there for Christmas."  
"I need to pee, Daddy."  
"But ya went half an hour ago, Leo."  
"I have to pee, Daddy."  
"Fine. Don, pull over. The squirt needs ta pee."

"Okay," Don said and pulled over to the side of the road. 

"Do ya need ta go, Lily?" Raphael asked.  
"No, Daddy."  
"Ya sure?"  
"Yes, Daddy."

"Come on, buddy," Raphael said, handing Amy to Leo. Then he took Leo jr's hand and led him outside to a bush. "Here ya go."  
Leo did his business and Raphael took him back to the van.

Raphael had just seated Leo jr, when Lily piped up, "I have to pee, Daddy."  
Raphael heaved a deep sigh and said, "Come on, sweetheart. Anyone else need ta go?"

"Nope," Leo and Don said in unison.

"Need some help?" Leo asked.  
Raphael shook his head. "No."

Raphael and his daughter went outside and returned to the van a few minutes later. "All done," Raphael said, taking Amy from Leo. Then he sat down and said, "Floor it, Don. We should be there in a couple of hours. Try ta sleep, kids."  
Leo jr pressed his snout against the glass and gazed outside, eyes wide, as they passed a sign advertizing a circus. "Daddy, can we go to it?" he asked, looking at Leo.

"No, buddy," Leo said. "We can't."  
"Why not?" Leo jr asked. "It'll be fun. We can all go."

The two parents looked at one another and silently came to a mutual decision. It was time to tell their children. "Because we're different," Raphael said. "And people don't like different, Leo. There are some bad people out there and they'll stop at nothin' ta hurt us, ya understand? It ain't safe goin' near humans."  
"But, Daddy, there are tigers and lions and..."  
"Leo, I know ya don't understand now, but one day ya will."

"But April and Casey are humans," Lily said. "And they aren't bad."  
Raphael looked at his daughter, who was very bright for her age, and said, "That's true. There are some good people out there, but it still ain't safe goin' near humans. Ya'll understand when yer bigger."

There was silence for a long time until there was a retching noise. "Oh no," Raphael said, staring at Amy in horror, Holding her at arms length, he said, "Amy's gonna be sick. Stop the van, Don."  
Don did and Raphael rushed outside. Just in time, because Amy immediately spewed all over the grass. When she was finished, Raphael rubbed her shell soothingly and said, "There. There. It's okay. Ya feel better now?" The baby gurgled at her father and Raphael smiled. "Come on. Let's get ya cleaned up." Raphael climbed in the van, got out tissues from a bag and dabbed at her face. "There, Amy. All clean now, honey."

"She smells," Leo jr said and wrinkled his beak. "Daddy, she smells!"

"Is she okay, Raph?" Leo asked.  
"Car sick.That's all. She'll be fine." He checked Amy over and sighed. "Leo jr's right. She needs ta be changed. May as well change Ali too." Raphael changed his daughters. Then he sat back in his seat, cradling Amy and said,"Okay, Don. Hit it."

XXXXX 

They arrived at the farmhouse at midnight. They went inside and the older kids ran about, exploring, while Raphael, Don and Leo took in the suitcases. Raphael settled the twins in his and Leo's bedroom in a cot they'd brought along. Then he went into the kitchen, took out three beers and cracked them open. He handed them to Don and Leo, took a swig of his and said, "The twins are asleep. Where are Leo jr and Lily?"  
"They were exploring, but are now passed out on the sofa in the lounge," Don said. "Trip must have tired them."  
"Good. I'm kinda beat myself. Leo, ya comin' ta bed?"

"Are we going to leave them on the sofa, Raph?" Leo asked.  
"They can sleep with me," Don said. "I'll tuck them in. Night, guys."

"Thanks, Don," Raphael said. He grabbed his mate's hand and led him to their bedroom. 

XXXX 

The parents bent down, kissed their sleeping babies and crawled into bed. "How ya feelin', Leo?" Raphael asked. "Ya've been very quiet tonight."  
"Thinking about earlier. About us being so different. It pains me that the kids will never be able to have a normal life, make friends and see the world."  
"Me too, Leo. My hope is that we'll be accepted someday, but I know that'll probably never happen. The kids will be regarded as freaks, like us."  
"It's not fair, Raph. They never asked for this kind of life."  
"Neither did we."  
"But we knew what kind of life they'd have and we went ahead having them. Does that make us bad parents?"  
"No. It makes us, heh, human, Leo. I mean, it's normal wantin' ta settle down and ta have a family. I ain't sayin' that those who don't are abnormal, but ya get what I mean. We wanted the kids and they've been a blessin'. Ya regret havin' them?"  
"No, but I'm sad they'll never belong anywhere."  
"They will. With us and our family."  
"You know what I mean."  
Raphael sighed. "Yeah. I know they'll find it difficult, Leo, but I'll...We'll be there for them."  
"What if they want families of their own? There aren't other mutant females or males out there. And what if they want to be with a human? We got lucky and had each other."  
"Our kids ain't datin' no humans and as for families of their own, it just ain't possible. They'll have ta accept it."  
"What if they find love together?"  
"That's just sick, Leo! Look, we ain't biologically related, so what we got ain't gross, but that'd be so wrong."  
"It's possible that'll happen."  
"I pray ta God that it don't."  
"You believe in God, Raph?"

Leo suddenly winced in pain and clutched his belly. "Leo, ya okay?" Raphael asked.  
Leo pulled down the bedsheets and noticed blood dripping from his slit in his lower plastron. "No. Get Don now."  
"What's happenin'?" Raphael asked fearfully.  
"Get Don!" Leo screamed, as the pain intensified.

Raphael jumped out of bed, ran to Don's room and yanked it open. "Don," he said, trying not to wake his sleeping babies beside Don. "Need ya. Leo's bleedin'." Don immediately got up and followed Raphael to the bedroom.

"Leo, I want you to lie still, while I examine you," Don said. He pulled the bedsheets off of Leo and ran his hand over Leo's belly. "Does it hurt there?"  
"Is he gonna be okay?" Raphael asked anxiously.

Leo nodded. "And there's blood. Don, they're coming, aren't they?"  
"Yes. You need to lie still. I'm getting my medical supplies."

"Leo, the babies are comin'?" Raphael asked.  
"Looks like," Leo said, grimacing in pain.  
"I'm here," Raphael said, grabbing his hand. "I'm here. I won't let go, okay? And Don will do his best."  
"Raph, they aren't supposed to be coming this early. You know that it means they won't make it."  
"Leo, don't think 'bout that. Focus on stayin' strong. I'm here." Raphael pressed a kiss to his beak and said, "Yer gonna be okay, Leo. I know ya will be."

Don appeared a few minutes later with an incubator and his medical supplies. "Found these in one of the spare bedrooms," he said. "You and Leo had your clutches of eggs here and stayed here until they hatched, Raph. I need you to keep talking to Leo, while I do this."  
"Do what?" Raphael asked, eying the scalpel Don held.  
"I'm going to have to cut the eggs out. It's the best chance for their survival."  
"Ya ain't touchin' him," Raphael snapped. "He could die and ya don't got any anaesthetic, do ya?"  
"No. It's the only way. Leo could bleed out and die if I don't."

"Do it," Leo said weakly. "Raph, it's going to be fine. Don knows what he's doing."  
"Ya better," Raphael said, glaring at Don. "Yer gonna know what pain feels like if he dies."

Don ignored his brother's threat. He sliced into Leo's belly, removing a mass of white eggs and placed it into the incubator. Then he stitched up and cleaned Leo. "Lie back, Leo," he said. "All done."

Raphael peered through the glass of the incubator and said, "Two eggs? Wow."  
"The babies are eight weeks along, Raph. You know what that means?" Don said.  
"The babies got a shot at makin' it," Raphael said happily. "Ya hear that, Leo? We're gonna be parents again and ta twins again. Leo?"

His mate was fast asleep, exhausted. Raphael smiled at him tenderly. Then turning to Don, he said, "I'm sorry, Don. I was worried and I shouldn't have snapped at ya."  
"It's okay, Raph. I'd probably have done the same thing. You should get some sleep too. It's been a long day."  
"Yeah. I'm buggered. Thanks. Leo and I are grateful."  
"You're welcome. You thought of names yet?"  
"We like Troy, but it ain't definite."  
"You have plenty of time. Night."  
"Night and thanks again."

Raphael gazed at the eggs and beamed. "Ya are Leo and my miracles and I know ya'll make it," he said. Raphael snuggled next to Leo and was soon asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't kill the babies :) I changed the names of the first twins to Amy and Alyssa. You will see why later.


	14. Togetherness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Leo bond with their family and Don, and Leo mentions what he wants for his funeral.

Raphael was fast asleep at six the next morning, when Lily entered the room, shrieking, "Daddy. Time to play!" Her dad cracked open an eye and quickly shut it, hoping his daughter would leave. Instead, she hopped onto the bed, climbed onto his chest and said, "Daddy, I know you're awake. Come play with me." Raphael lay very still. Please go. Just need ten more minutes, he thought. "Daddy!" Lily yelled into his ear slit.

Raphael opened his eyes and said, "Okay, okay. I'm awake." Glancing next to him and noticing Leo wasn't there, he said, "Where's yer dad?"  
"In the kitchen with Uncle Don and the babies. Daddy, get up!" She tugged at his arm. "Daddy!"  
"I'm comin', but first..." Raphael got into a sitting position, grabbed her and started tickling her.  
"Daddy," the little girl said and began laughing and trying to get away. "Daddy, stop."  
"Nope. That's what ya get for screamin' in my ear," Raphael said with a smile. He tickled her again and the little girl giggled.  
"Daddy, it tickles."  
"I know, but ya love it! Are ya ticklish on yer tummy? Huh. I bet ya are," Raphael said, tickling her stomach and sending her into another fit of giggles.  
"Daddy!"  
"Heh. Okay. I'll stop," Raphael said. He stopped and pulled her into a hug. "Ya know I love ya, angel, don't ya?" he said and nuzzled his beak against hers. "Yer my little princess."  
"Love you too, Daddy," Lily said and kissed his beak. "You're my prince."  
Raphael chuckled. "Ya'll always be my princess, even when yer big."  
"I am big, Daddy."  
"When yer bigger. Let's get up." He stood up, bent down and scooped her up into his arms.  
"What's that, Daddy?" she asked, pointing at the incubators.  
"Yer brothers or sisters are in there. Remember when Amy and Ali were eggs? They are too."  
"Oh, okay," Lily said, staring at the eggs. "Can they play?"  
"Not now, sweetheart. When they're bigger like ya, but that won't be for a while. Ya hungry? I bet Uncle Don's makin' breakfast."

XXXX 

They went into the kitchen and saw Leo jr at the table. Don was at the stove. The twins were in a carrycot, but there was no sign of Leo. "Mornin', Leo," Raphael said, setting Lily down on a chair. Then he bent down and kissed his son. "Ya sleep okay?"  
"Hi, Daddy. Uncle Don's making waffles."

"Mornin' Don," Raphael said. He kissed his twins. Then he added, "Where's Leo?"  
"Hey, Raph. He said he was going for a walk."  
"When did he go?"  
"About twenty minutes ago. I'm making breakfast. Should be ready soon. You want any?"  
"Gonna go find Leo. Feed the kids, please. I'll eat later."

XXXX 

Raphael went outside and walked a long time until he found Leo sitting by Splinter's grave. "Hey," he said.  
"Hi, Raph."  
"I missed ya," Raphael said. He sat down beside him and grabbed Leo's hand. "Not the same when ya ain't there when I wake up."  
"You better get used to it. There'll be a day when I'm not here," Leo said flatly, as if he were discussing the weather.  
Raphael bristled. "Ya don't gotta be such an ass 'bout it," he snapped.  
"I'm an ass? You're not the one dying, Raph. I'm entitled to be angry. Hell, I'm pissed."

Raphael looked at his mate tenderly, swallowing his fury, It was unusual for Leo to swear. Of course he was upset, furious and probably a bunch of other things too. It was all part of the process, Raphael thought. Grief, anger and ultimately acceptance.

"It's okay, Leo," Raphael said. "Ya got every reason bein' pissed and it's okay if ya wanna take it out on me."  
Leo sighed and squeezed his hand. "It's not okay. I shouldn't be... I'm not mad at you, Raph. I'm mad at the situation. I was mad at God and questioned why me but that's pointless. I mean why shouldn't it be me just as much as the next person? I'm not any more special. I'm mad I won't see the babies grow up and that I won't be there for you. Oh, I love you. The dreams we had. Gone, gone, gone. Just like that. The only dreams I have now are of me in a casket. I can't believe I'm going to die. Twenty-years-old and I'm going to die." Leo blinked back tears and Raphael pulled him into a hug, his own tears streaming down his cheeks. The couple stayed that way for a long time. Then Leo pulled apart and clutched Raphael's hand. "So I'm fuckin' pissed, Raph. I'm going to miss so much, but I'm glad it's me and not you. Losing you would have been harder. I'll miss being with you, though."  
A thought came to Raphael. "Maybe ya don't gotta miss me."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I can find some poison and take it. We can die together, like Romeo and Juliet. The kids will be fine with Mikey and Don!"  
"Are you damn insane, Raph?" Leo asked in horror. "No."  
"Why not? That way we can be together."  
"Because it's stupid. No. I don't want that."  
"So I'm supposed ta watch ya die and go through all that shit?" Raphael growled. "Fuck ya, Leo. Ya ain't my leader no more and I don't gotta do as ya say."  
"You don't, but I'm asking as your mate and asking you to think about the children, Raphael. They need at least one parent. You're a dad first before anything else. Would you want me to do that to our beloved children if you were sick?"  
"No."  
"Then you won't, Raph," Leo said, cupping his cheek. He kissed it and added, "You're strong, Raph. You'll get through it and the kids need your strength."  
Tears fell down Raphael's cheeks and Leo kissed them away. "Sh. It's going to be all right. You know the song Queen of My Heart by Westlife?"  
"Unfortunately," Raphael said, reddening. "Ya got all of their CD's. I know their songs by heart, because of ya."  
Leo laughed. "But admit you do like them."  
"Okay. I do. So?"  
"Sing for me, Raph."  
"Ugh, Leo. That song?"  
"Yes. I'll tell you when to stop." Raphael sang in his rich baritone voice. Leo beamed. He loved it when Raphael sang. He'd often get out his guitar and sing for his family. The kids, especially, would clap their hands with glee when he did. When Raphael got to a certain verse, Leo said, "Sing that again."  
"No matter how far or where ya may be. I just close my eyes and yer in my dreams. And there ya'll be until we meet."  
"There you go," Leo said and smiled. "I'm there every time you close your eyes. With you. Until we meet again."  
"Man, that's so sappy, but kinda sweet. Just like ya, Leo. Yer the ying ta my yang."

Leo chuckled. "Back at you, handsome." He leaned in and the couple shared a passionate kiss.

Breaking apart a few minutes later, a breathless Raphael said, "Ya wanna head back?"  
"Not yet. I want to talk about my funeral. I know you don't want to, but it has to be done. I want to be buried in a white casket next to Dad. I don't want that many flowers, because I'd rather you donate to the Wildlife Fund and Marine Life Fund, specifically for our relatives."  
"Okay. And?"  
"I want a combination of Buddhist and Roman Catholic for my service. I love the song, I Danced In The Morning. I want that sung. You know it."  
"Yeah," Raphael said, fighting back tears. "We sing it sometimes."  
"I don't want people crying twenty-four-seven, Raph. I want my life to be celebrated. And that includes you. I DON'T want you holed up in your bedroom and neglecting the kids. They're going to be confused and need you. Don't use Don and Mikey too much. You're their parent and you'll need to act like one. Don't do anything foolish when I pass. Remember, Raph, the kids will have only one parent then and they're relying on you. Don't let them down. And don't let me down. I'll haunt you if you do."  
"Okay, Leo. I can't take more of this morose shit. Please can we go inside?"  
"But you'll do as I ask?"  
"Ya know I will. Let's go inside, eat some breakfast and watch movies with the kids. But please not Frozen. I'm sick ta death of that movie."  
Leo chuckled. "Is that why I heard you singing one of the songs in the shower the other day?"  
Raphael blushed. "Okay. It's a sweet movie, but I still don't wanna watch it."  
"You're even sexier when you blush."  
Raphael blushed again. "Let's go inside, Leo."

XXXXX 

They went inside and spent a quiet day with their kids watching DVD's that Don had picked up on a late night scavenger hunt. When the Fox and the Hound had finished, Lily ran over to where Raphael sat on the couch and said, "Can we watch Frozen?"  
"Oh, sweetheart," Raphael said. "I think we left it at home, but we can..."

"No, no. Here it is," Leo jr yelled, rushing over and showing the DVD he'd picked up from the table. "Can we watch, Daddy?"

"All right," Raphael said, while inwardly groaning. "Will you sing, Daddy?" Leo jr said.

"Yes, please sing, Raphie," Don said and chuckled, as his macho brother scowled at him.

Leo beamed from his place next to Raphael and said, "Come on, Raph."

Raphael sang, but his kids weren't content with once and made him sing Let it Go four times. "Enough," he said wearily, after the fourth time. "Play the movie. I'm gonna get popcorn."  
"Daddy, you have to sing it again," Leo jr said.  
"I will later, buddy."

XXXXX 

Raphael went into the kitchen and began to prepare the popcorn. He looked through the door way at his mate and kids. The kids had crawled onto Leo's lap and were snuggled, watching the movie. I'm so lucky, Raphael thought. But why does it gotta be be taken away from us? I don't understand.

Don entered the kitchen and said, "Beautiful singing, Raph."  
"Shut it, Don."  
"Ouch. Did I hit a nerve?"  
"Why does Leo gotta die? Look at us. We're a happy family. I don't get it."  
"I don't have the answer, Raph, but I do know me and Mikey will always be here for you and the kids."  
"Thanks, but it ain't the same as havin' Leo. I want Leo!"

Raphael turned his back, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall.

Don knew better than to discuss further. Raphael was hurting and he needed to work through things on his own. He returned to Leo and the kids.

XXXXX 

Raphael composed himself, and taking the popcorn, went back into the lounge. He settled down next to Leo and pressed a kiss to his beak. "Love ya," he said.  
"Love you too, Raph."

"Want popcorn, please," Lily said, rushing over to the sofa.

"Me too," Leo jr said. They both took handfuls and sat down in front of the TV. The rest of the day passed quietly and the family watched more movies, enjoying the togetherness.

XXXX 

Later in bed, Raphael asked, "Ya feel pain? Ya ain't said much 'bout it, Leo."  
"Hot water bottles help ease it, but I'm feeling okay tonight. Why, you feeling frisky?"  
"For ya always," Raphael said and nipped his neck playfully, leaving a large red mark. "Ya know I want ya badly."  
Leo grinned. "I suppose I can handle a round."

Things heated up.

Afterwards, Leo fell asleep quickly and Raphael was nearly asleep, when there was a pattering of little feet entering the bedroom. "Daddy," Leo jr said, tugging at Raphael's arm. "Can't sleep."/p>

"Me too," Lily said.

"Where's yer Uncle Don?" Raphael asked.

"Don't know," Leo jr said. "Please, Daddy."  
"Okay. Climb in," Raphael said, pulling back the covers. His kids jumped in and covered them the bedspread. "Night, Leo and Lily. I love ya."

"Daddy?" Lily said from beside Raphael.  
"What, honey?" Raphael said.  
"Tell us a story."  
"Okay. Quietly, because yer daddy's sleepin'."

Raphael told them the story about Rapunzel and was halfway through when he saw his little babies had fallen asleep. Leo's right, Raphael thought. Killin' myself would be stupid. My kids need me and I won't let Leo or them down, but it's gonna be hell losin' Leo. If there is a God, please give me the strength ta cope. Raphael glanced at his sleeping mate and thought, I'll always love ya, Leo. Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep, one hand protectively over his daughter's plastron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiji is on the cards soon.


	15. Leo's request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo asks Raphael to do something for him in his final days.

Leo woke up early the next morning and grimaced in pain, clutching his side. Raphael, hearing his moans, was instantly awake and said, “Leo, what’s wrong?”  
“Hurts, Raph.”  
“What can I get ya?”  
“Hot water bottle. Please.” Blinking back tears, Raphael hurried out of the room and went into the kitchen.

XXXX 

Angrily throwing open drawers, Raphael searched for a hot water bottle, while hot tears spilled down his cheeks, as he thought about his sick mate. Leo’s dyin’ and there’s nothin’ I can do, he thought miserably.

Leo jr entered the kitchen and said, "Daddy?"  
"Hi there, buddy,” Raphael said, quickly back to parenting mode. “How’s my little man?”  
“Lily’s drawing on the wall, Daddy.”  
“Tell her ta stop, Leo.”  
“I did, but she won’t listen.”

Sighing, Raphael followed his four-year-old son to the bedroom he shared with his sister.

XXXXX 

“What’s this?” Raphael demanded, glaring at the scribbles on the wall.  
His daughter stared back at him defiantly and said, “Drawings.”  
“What did I tell ya 'bout drawin’ on the walls, Hamato Lily?” Raphael shouted.  
“Walls look pretty now, Daddy. I like it.”  
All of Raphael’s pent-up emotions snapped. He grabbed the crayons from his daughter, smacked her on her butt and yelled, “Ya don’t do that. Do ya hear me? Ya don’t! How many times do I gotta tell ya not ta do that?”

Raphael had never hit his children before and his daughter looked at him in shock. Then she erupted into a flood of tears. Leo jr simply stared, also stunned at his father’s behavior.

Raphael stormed out, went into the lounge and overturned the lounge coffee table in a fit of rage.

XXXX 

Raphael then went to a room, where Casey and April had set up a punching bag for him and started attacking it. He hadn’t had a tantrum in years and he was ashamed of himself. Lily had drawn on the walls before. Both of the kids had. He’d always admonished them, but never with physical force.

I’m crackin’ Raphael thought. It was just drawin’. I coulda handled it better. Shit. I hit my kid. I never meant…Slumping down on the ground, Raphael buried his head in his hands and started to sob.

Don appeared a few minutes later and said, “Raph, you okay?”  
“I ain’t cryin’; Raphael snapped, wiping his face with the back of his hand. His brother plopped down on the floor beside him and said, “Leo told me you smacked his sister.”  
“Yeah. She was drawin’ and all my….” Raphael choked back a sob and added, “Guess my emotions got the better of me and I snapped.”  
“You’re under a lot of strain, Raph. It’s okay to get mad.”  
“Yeah, but Lily’s just a kid. She don't deserve it.”  
“She’ll get over it. It’s okay. Tell me how you are.”  
“Terrified. Leo’s gettin' sicker and he’ll soon be gone. I can’t stand the thought of him dyin’, Don. My mate. He’s only twenty. We had so many plans. Now they’re never gonna happen. I try ta be strong for Leo, but I'm crackin' inside’. Ya know what it’s like watchin’ someone ya love waste away?”  
“No, but I do know I’m here for you and so is Mikey. We’ll always be there for you and the kids.”  
“Some days I just wanna curl up in bed and cry, but I gotta be strong. Leo needs that. It'll kill him if he sees me fall apart. Do ya get that? Leo don't know me as someone, who sobs like a baby. I gotta get back ta Leo. He wanted a hot water bottle.”  
“Stay here and take some time out. I’ll take it to him, okay.”  
“No. I got it,” Raphael said and stood up. “Thanks. Is Lily okay?”  
“She’s a kid and resilient, Raph. Don’t worry. Things are fine. Go be with Leo. I’ll handle the kids.”  
“Thanks, Don. I appreciate everythin’.” Raphael flung an arm around his brother.  
“You’re welcome,” Don said, when they’d disengaged. “Ask Leo if he wants some breakfast.”

XXXXX 

Raphael made another hot water bottle and returned to his and Leo’s bedroom. “Hey, Leo,” he said and bent down and kissed his cheek. “How ya feelin’?”  
“Okay.”  
“Ya don’t look okay,” Raphael said, handing the hot water bottle to his mate.  
“Thanks,” Leo said and pressed the hot water bottle against his side. “I’m fine, Raph. Just very tired today. Think I’ll stay in bed if you don’t mind.”  
“Sure. Get yer sleep. Want some breakfast?”  
“Not hungry.”  
“But ya ain't eaten since last night. Ya need ta eat, Leo.”  
“I will after my nap. You go have breakfast, Raph.”  
“I’ll stay with ya.”  
“I said I’m fine. Stop fussing. I’ll be okay.”  
“I’ll be back soon, okay?”  
“But….”

Raphael picked up his sleeping twin girls and headed to the kitchen.

XXXXX 

Spying his kids eating their breakfast at the table, Raphael kissed them on their foreheads and placed the twins in their pram. “Hey, Lily,” Raphael said. “How’s my princess?”  
Lily shrank further into her seat and stared down at her cereal. Raphael’s heart sank. His daughter was afraid of him. “I’m sorry, Lily,” Raphael said, bending down to her level. “I’m sorry. Daddy got mad, but he does love ya very much. Ya know that, right?” The little girl looked up at her father and slowly nodded. “Can I have a hug?” Raphael asked. His daughter nodded again and he hugged her, pressing her close to his chest. “Ya and yer siblings are my world, Lily, and ya'll never stop bein’ my princess.”  
Lily smiled for the first time and said, “Love you, Daddy.”  
“Love ya too, baby.”

“Breakfast’s ready, Raph,” Don said and brought plates of scrambled eggs and bacon to the table.  
"That smells great,” Raphael said approvingly. “But I ain't fed the babies.”  
“I’ll do it. You go be with Leo.”  
“Thanks, Don.” 

Raphael took two plates of scrambled eggs and went to the bedroom.

XXXXX 

Raphael entered the bedroom and Leo said, as he sat up,"That looks good, Raph.”  
“Yeah. Ya need ta eat.”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
“Ya will eat, even if I gotta feed ya myself.”  
“Bossy much?” Leo said, his mouth curling up in a small smile.  
Raphael chuckled. “Eat yer food, Leo.”

The couple ate in silence for a few moments. Each mouthful was like torture to Leo. He was feeling sick and had thrown up when Raphael had gotten the hot water bottle and again when he'd been getting breakfast, but he bravely ate, although it tasted like cardboard to him.

Raphael watched him and narrowed his eyes when Leo said, “I can’t eat any more.”  
“Ya’ve only had six mouthfuls, Leo. What’s goin’ on?”  
“Just tired, Raph. I want to sleep. Go be with Don and the kids.”  
“Yer hidin’ somethin' from me, Leo! I can tell when ya are and ya promised ta be open with me.”  
“All right. I’ve been getting sick.”  
“That’s it. We’re goin’ home.”  
“No. I don’t want to go home, Raph.”  
“But ya agreed…”  
“Raph! Stop. I want to stay here for a few more days. Please. You can stay with me all you like, but I don’t want to go back to the lair yet. Please respect my decision.”  
“One condition. Ya try ta eat, Leo. Ya'll just waste away ta skin and bone if ya don't.”  
“I’m going to anyway. I’ll eat, but not now. All I want to do is sleep.”  
“I’ll be here with ya, Leo,” Raphael said, blinking away tears. He placed the plates on the desk.  
"Okay,” Leo said and yawned.

Leo was soon asleep and Raphael watched him, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Memories hit Raphael like a freight train, as he watched Leo sleep. Putting up the Christmas tree, fighting to put the silver star top on top, arguing over who had the last chocolate chip cookie, Leo bandaging his knee when he’d scraped it badly, Leo being his sounding board after yet another Splinter lecture, Leo secretly bringing him dinner when he’d been banished to bed without any, Leo letting him sleep with him after his many nightmares, soothing him, comforting him, Leo always staying up late to see he was back home safely, the first time they’d kissed, the first time they’d made love, the births of their babies. It'd always been Leo. He’d always been there, comforting, loving, shrouding Raphael in a cocoon of love he’d thought he’d never have and now Leo was dying. There'd be no new memories of Leo. Only the past. Life was unfair. Raphael would be alone once again with only his memories. No, Raphael thought. We should be makin’ plans for the future and not talkin’ 'bout death. How am I gonna cope without the person I love the most? How? More tears ran down his cheeks, as he thought about what the next few months would entail. 

Leo opened his eyes two hours later and said, “You’re still here, Raph?”  
“Told ya I’d be. How ya feelin’?”  
“Better. Think I could have some soup? Please.”  
“Of course, Leo.” Raphael bent down, kissed his beak and left the room.

XXXXX 

Going into the kitchen Raphael heard the giggles of his children from the lounge. He smiled sadly, while he warmed up a can of chicken soup on the stove. His kids wouldn’t understand where Leo was when he died. They’d keep asking and he’d tell them, but they wouldn’t understand. Then they’d go back to playing and laughing and doing what they always did. They wouldn’t understand until much later. Maybe they’d have some memories of Leo, but the youngest four wouldn’t. Leo would be a stranger, known to them only through Raphael and the tapes and the video recordings he was sure Leo would make. Memories. That’s all I’ll have, Raphael thought bitterly. I still don’t get why he's gotta die. Why him?

The soup was soon ready and Raphael took it to Leo

XXXXX 

Raphael handed the bowl of soup to Leo. "Thanks," Leo said. "Thanks. I think I can eat a bit. How are you, Raph? We haven’t talked much today.”  
“I’m okay. The kids are watchin’ TV with Don. So, yer feelin’ better?”  
“For now. Nausea comes and goes and the pain isn’t so bad right now.” Leo ate some of the soup and said, “This is awesome. You actually made something without burning it.”  
“Miracles never cease, huh?” Raphael said and managed a small smile.  
“It’s terrific. Raph, there are two things I want to ask you.”  
“Name them. Ya know I’ll do them.”  
“One. I want to make love with you when I’m not sick and I want the last act we do together to be one of love. I want to feel you in me as I die.”  
“Okay and the second?”  
Leo swallowed hard and said, “I don’t want to suffer. When I’m too sick to move and I’m bedridden, I want you to….”  
“NO," Raphael said, his eyes widening in shock, as he realized what Leo wanted him to do. "NO."  
“Raph, please. Think how you’d feel if it was you. Would you want to be sick and beholden to everyone? I don’t want to be a burden.”  
“Leo, yer askin’ me ta kill ya. Shit, Leo.”  
“I know and you don’t have to give your answer now. But please think about it.”  
“If I refuse?”  
“I’ll ask Don. Please think about it.”  
“I will, but I don’t….”  
“Thanks. More soup, please.”

Raphael went to get more soup, his mind racing like a greyhound. Leo just asked me ta kill him, he thought. How can I kill the person I love the most? How? I don’t know what ta do. I love Leo and I don’t want him ta suffer, but this? I don’t think I can do this. But Leo wants me ta and I gotta honor what he wants, but shit. I can’t think. This is too much. I need ta go for a walk and ta clear my head.

XXXXX 

Raphael went into the lounge and asked Don to give Leo his soup. Then he went for a long walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Raphael do what Leo asks?


	16. All together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey arrives at the farmhouse. More family bonding and Raph gives his answer to Leo.

Raphael went inside the house a couple of hours later, his mind made up. He went into the lounge and saw his family, sans Leo and Don, watching TV and to his surprise, Mikey was there too. “Yer here, Mikey?” Raphael said.

“Daddy!” Leo jr said, rushing to his father. “Come watch with me.”  
“In a minute, buddy,” Raphael said and bent down and kissed his head. 

“Daddy, I’m sick of Space Heroes,” Lily grumbled. “Want to watch My Little Pony!”

“Of course, bro,” Mikey said. “You didn’t think I’d stay at the lair all alone, did you? I rode your shell cycle here. Don’t glare at me, bro. I didn’t crash it and it’s in the same condition as you left it.”  
“Better be,” Raphael said, staring at him hard.  
“You mad I rode it?”  
“No. I’m glad yer here.”  
“You are?”  
“Yer family, Mikey, and we all need ta be together. It’s what Leo would want, beisdes, the kids love ya and yer an awesome babysitter, especially as yer closest ta them mentally,” Raphael said and smirked.  
“That’s mean, bro. I resemble that remark," Mikey said crossly.

“Daddy!” Lily whined. “Want My Little Pony now.”  
Raphael sighed and flicked through channels until he saw what she wanted. Satisfied, the little girl stared at the screen, but Leo jr frowned and said, “Boring. Want Space Heroes. Daddy!”

“Leo,” Raphael said, trying not to get irritated. “Ya gotta share. Ya can watch somethin’ else later. Mikey, where are Leo and Don?”  
“In your bedroom. So I hear I’m going to be an uncle again. Congrats, bro. You excited?”  
“Yeah. The twins okay?”  
“Sleeping. I checked on them a few minutes ago.”  
“We’ll talk later, Mikey. Can ya watch the kids?”  
“Of course, bro.”  
“Thanks. I know I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate yer help with the kids and yer an awesome little brother.”  
“Aw, Raphie, I love you too.”

XXXXXX 

Raphael went into his bedroom and saw Don attending to Leo. “What happened?” Raphael demanded, watching Leo grimace in pain.  
“I fell, Raph,” Leo said. “No big deal.”  
“No big deal?” Raphael snapped, looking at the various cuts and bruises on Leo’s legs. “Are ya kiddin’ me? What if ya had worse injuries and we couldn’t find ya? Did ya think ‘bout that?”

“Raph, calm down,” Don said. “He has a few cuts and bruises, but is fine. Leo, I want you to rest and, Raph, you’re coming with me. We need to talk.”  
“But I wanna…”  
“Raphael,” Don said firmly. “Now.”

“Ya know I love ya, Leo, right?” Raphael said.  
“I know that, Raphie, and I love you.”  
“Sleep, Leo. I won’t be long.” Raphael kissed his mate on his lips and left with Don.

XXXXXX 

Raphael and Don went into the kitchen. “Coffee, Raph?” Don asked.  
“What do ya wanna tell me?”  
“I’m making coffee. Want some? I could use some and I think you could too.”  
“Don’t want coffee. Want ya ta tell me what the fuck’s goin’ on. Is Leo worse? He is, isn’t he and that’s why Mikey’s here?”  
Don looked at his brother’s pained expression and shook his head. “Leo’s the same, but he could deteriorate at any time and I thought Mikey should be here. He’s family after all and we need to be together. Mikey and I haven’t been there enough for you, but I hope you know you can talk to us.”  
“I know that,” Raphael said, blinking back tears. “I appreciate it, Don, and yer wrong. Ya've both been so fuckin’ fantastic with everythin’. Me and Leo are so grateful.”  
Don hugged him and said, “That’s what family does, Raph. Supports each other through thick and thin. We’ll always be there for you and the kids.”  
Raphael pulled apart and nodded, his throat feeling thick. “What did ya wanna talk ta me ‘bout?”  
“Did Leo ask you?”  
“Yeah. And I won’t do it. I can’t do it. I can’t kill someone I love. Does that make me a horrible mate, because I can’t do what my mate wants and end his sufferin’?”  
“No. It makes you human, uh, normal. He asked me, but I told him I had to talk to you first.”  
“Ya won’t kill him, Don. Ya won’t.”  
“But he’s going to suffer in a huge way. Do you want that for him?”  
“No, but killin’ him is wrong. I…”  
“He’s my brother, Raph, and I love him. I can’t bear to watch him suffer. Do you think Leo wants to suffer? Does he deserve it? No one deserves to suffer like that and be so helpless and dependent on everyone. Would you want that?”  
“No.”  
“Then reconsider. Think about Leo and what he wants.”  
Raphael swallowed hard and said, “All right, but I wanna be with him when it happens.”  
“Of course, Raph. You’re doing the right thing.”  
“Then why does it feel like I’m not? Can ya answer that?”  
“No.”  
“Is there anythin' else ya wanna discuss?”  
“One of the eggs isn’t doing so well. We may….”  
“No. My babies are gonna be fine. They’re both strong and are gonna make it. Ya ain’t touchin’ my babies, ya hear me?”  
“Raph…”  
“DO YA HEAR ME? Ya touch them and I’ll personally kick ya from here ta Cuba or wherever the fuck I feel like it. Leave my babies alone.”  
“I thought you needed to know. I didn’t touch them. I swear I….Take it easy, Raph. I’m on your side. Please. You know I wouldn’t harm the kids.”  
“Sorry,” Raphael said and took a deep breath. “I know that. I don’t know what came over me. I feel so…”  
“Overwhelmed and tired. You need rest. When was the last time you got any? Look at the dark circles under your eyes and you’re looking pale.”  
“No. Gotta go check on my babies.”

XXXX

Raphael left the room and went to check on the eggs in the incubator in his and Leo’s bedroom. “Ya boys listen up,” he said, peering into the incubator. “I got a feelin’ yer boys and I got names picked. Yer Hamato’s and yer made of strong stuff, so ya fight and give everythin’ ya got. I love ya and so do yer Dad, brother, sisters and uncles. We all can’t wait ta meet ya and ta play with ya. So grow, my sweet babies and….”

“Raphie,” Leo said, stirring. “Is everything okay?”  
“Talkin' ta the eggs, Leo,” Raphael said. He went to Leo's side and took his hands in his.  
“Are they okay?”  
“One’s not doin’ so well, but he'll fight and will make it. Just like his brother.”  
“You think they’re boys?”  
“Yeah. I was thinkin’ ‘bout the name Aidan. I like Troy, but I like Aidan more.”  
“I was thinking we could name one of them after Don. He’s been so amazing. What about Aidan as a second name? Donatello Aidan Michelangelo.”  
“I agree. Don’s been terrific and Mikey will love that we honored him too. I like it and the other baby?”  
“Raphael Firenzi.”  
“Ya sure ya wanna name the squirt after me?” Raphael said, surprised.  
“I’m sure and like his Daddy, he’ll be gruff on the outside and all gooey on the inside. Speaking of which,” Leo said playfully. He ran his hands down Raphael's plastron and settled it on his scutes. “I’m horny.”  
“But ya need sleep.”  
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead and I’m feeling all right at the moment, so make love to me, Raphie. I need you inside of me.”

Leo spread his legs wide and winked at his mate. “Come on, Raphie,” he said.  
“Ya sure, Leo?”  
“Fuck me already!”

Raphael got between Leo’s legs and licked at his slit until he churred and dropped down into Raphael’s waiting hands. “Love me, Raphie,” Leo said and moaned. “Love me.” Raphael deep throated him and it wasn’t long before Leo came with a huge roar, shooting his essence down Raphael’s obliging throat. Leo pulled out and said breathlessly, “That was incredible. Thank you, Raphie, but I want more. Want you inside of me.”  
Raphael smiled and said, “Whatever ya want, Fearless Leader.”

Raphael lined himself up with Leo’s entrance and thrust in, causing Leo to groan.“Oh, Raphie.”

Raphael pulled out, then thrust back in, soon forming a rhythm that quickly built up to a mind-blowing orgasm for both he and Leo. Gazing tenderly at his lover with half-lidded eyes, Raphael pulled out, planted a kiss on Leo’s lips and lay down beside him, panting heavily. “That was amazin’ Leo,” he said.  
“The best, Raphie. Promise me something?”  
“What?”  
“You'll be there with me when the end comes."  
“I already told ya I’d honor what ya asked me. Except killin’ ya. I can’t do that, but I gave my consent ta Don for him ta do it. It was hard, Leo, because I don’t agree with it, but I love ya so very much and I don’t want ya ta be in agony, so if ya do decide ta go through it with Don, I’ll be there with ya, like I’ve been every other day of my life.”

Leo raised his head and kissed Raphael deeply, one hand on his thigh. The kiss intensified and they made out for a long time.

Leo said breathlessly, when they'd pulled apart, "Have I told you how much I love you, my incredible, beautiful mate?”  
Raphael blushed. “Tell me again. I love hearin’ it.”  
“I love you, Raphie. You're so beautiful and the best part of me.”  
“I love ya too, Fearless. Always and forever,” Raphael said, a lump in his throat.  
“Thought of a mate for when I’ve passed?”  
“Of course not!”  
“You should think about Don. He’d be good for you, Raphie. He’s smart, caring and and he loves the kids.”  
“He likes April and yer talkin’ shit.”  
“I’m not. It’d make me happy if you got with Don.”  
“Hamato Leonardo Yoshi, shut the fuck up. I ain’t gonna get with no one else but ya and I'll cook for ya if ya keep pesterin’ me.”  
“Horrors!” Leo said and laughed. “Fine, but I’m serious, Raphie. Don would be a good fit for you.”  
“Ya know what a good fit is? My cock in yer ass. Can ya handle another round?”  
“Raphie…”  
“Well?”  
“I think I can!”

Raphael got between Leo’s legs and entered him, thrusting in and out, enjoying how much his cock filled Leo, loving the sound of Leo’s churring and how the sapphire-eyed turtle looked at him with a mixture of love and lust. Raphael made love to him, intense pleasure coursing through his body, and he too, emitted deep rumbles of happiness.

I’ll miss this when Leo dies, Raphael thought forlornly. Not just the sex, but the love. Me and Leo got it all. Chemistry, fantastic sex and a love so deep that nothin’ can end it. Not even cancer. As for Don? Yeah, right. I don’t want anyone else. Not ever. Raphael felt himself go over the edge, as another orgasm hit him. He churred, bent down and nipped and sucked Leo’s neck and smirked, as the area quickly turned red. He then churred again, pulled out and flopped down beside his mate. “Leo?” he said. But there was no answer, because Leo was asleep. Satiated, Raphael snuggled up to Leo, his face in the crook of Leo’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww. I'm really dreading the time when Leo dies. Going to be a very emotional scene for me to write.


	17. Trouble with a capital A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April arrives at the farmhouse and stirs up trouble.

Later that day, June 5, Leo sat on the veranda with Don, while Raphael and Mikey were inside with the kids. “Dinner will be ready in forty minutes, Leo,” Don said.  
“Great. What’s Mikey making?”  
“Not sure. How are you feeling?”  
“The pain comes and goes, but today’s been a good day. Hey, Don. How long do you think I have left before I get worse?”  
“I don’t know, Leo. It could be months or even weeks.”  
“Will I live to see my new sons? Raph thinks they’re boys.”  
“In all probability, no, Leo,” Don said sadly. “But I can’t tell you when you’ll pass. I’m sorry.”  
“Will I have time to return to Turtle Island? Raph and I want to go there again.”  
“Yes, but I’d go sooner rather than later. And you’re not going alone. We have to be with you in case something happens, but you’ll also have your alone time.”  
“Call April and ask her if we can use the jet. I want to go before I’m too sick. It’ll be great. Sun, fresh air, the beach. The place where Raph and I began our married life. Feels like only yesterday that we tied the knot. Five years has flown by,” Leo said, gazing at the sun, as it slowly set. “Hey, Don?”  
“Yes?”  
“Please be there for Raph and the kids when I die.”  
“Of course I will be.”  
“I mean really be there. Raph will need love and I can’t think of anyone better than you. You should be his mate. I know you'll be an excellent dad to my kids.”  
“Leo, I can’t do that,” Don said quietly.  
“Why not? You love Raph, don’t you?”  
“No. I had a crush on him before you guys dated, but I’m over him. I’ll love the kids and I'll be there for Raph emotionally, but not as his mate. I’m sorry and am flattered you think so highly of me, but I can’t do that.”  
“Is it because of April?”  
Don nodded. “April and I confessed our feelings for one another a while ago and are dating, but even if we weren’t, I wouldn’t be with Raph. I’m not attracted to him and he’s not my type. So, I’m sorry, Leo.”  
“Don’t be. It’s okay. I’m happy for you and April. I just wanted to know Raph would be taken care of. I worry about that.”

Raphael appeared and asked, "Worry ‘bout what, Fearless?”  
“Nothing, Raph. Hey. Is dinner almost ready?”  
“Yeah,” Raph said, staring at his mate hard. I know there’s somethin' Leo ain’t tellin’ me, Raphael thought. And I'll ask him later. “Mikey’s made macaroni cheese.”  
“Oh, awesome,” Leo said. He stood up reached for Raphael's hand mate. “I’m starved.”  
“And Mikey made dessert, but I got somethin’ extra special for ya later,” Raphael said and winked, as he took Leo’s hand in his. Leo flushed and Raphael chuckled.

XXXXXX 

They all went into the kitchen and sat down to the scrumptious meal that Mikey had prepared. Afterwards, while they feasted on the chocolate cheesecake Mikey had made, Mikey said, “Kala’s coming tomorrow and there’s a surprise guest coming soon.”  
“Who?” Leo asked.

“Surprise!” a voice suddenly called from the lounge. “I’m here.”  
“April?” Leo said in amazement.

“Auntie April,” Lily said, getting up from her chair and rushing to the lounge, followed by Leo jr.

XXXX 

The kids flung themselves at April.  
"Hey, guys,” April said, bending down and hugging them.

The other turtles had followed the kids into the lounge and Leo said, “This is a pleasant surprise, April.”  
“I was visiting friends this week, but my plans changed and Don said you were here, so I came. Is that all right?”

“Of course,” Raphael said. “More than all right. It’s lovely ta see ya. Have ya eaten, April?”  
“Not since this morning.”  
“Good, because Mikey made macaroni cheese.”  
“My favorite. Yum.”

Raphael settled the kids in front of the TV. Then he and the rest of the adults went into the kitchen.

XXXXX 

April ate ravenously, while the guys filled her in on the events of the past few days. “Leo, know that I’ll always be here for you, Raph, and the kids,” April said, squeezing Leo’s hand.  
“Thanks, April. I believe you and Don have something to tell us?” Leo said and winked.

Don and April blushed and Don said, “Yes. April and I are dating. Early days, but we’re very happy.”  
“Congrats, guys,” Raphael said. “It’s ‘bout time!”

“Very happy for you dudes,” Mikey said. “When are there going to be babies?”  
“Not for a long time,” Don said, blushing again. “It’s early days, right, April?”

“Uh huh,” April said. “Don, help me clear the plates. Thanks, Mikey, it was fantastic.”

April and Don washed the dishes. Then she went outside to the veranda. 

XXXXX 

April saw Raphael sitting on the rocking chair, staring up at the stars. “Beautiful night,” April said, sitting down. “How come you’re not with Leo, Raph?”  
“Goin’ soon. I just wanted ta sit outside for a while and get some fresh air.”  
“How are you doing?”  
“I’m okay. My brothers have been terrific.”  
“Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything,” April said, staring intently into his golden eyes.  
“Thanks.”  
“I mean, anything whatsoever,” April said seductively, placing her hand on Raphael’s thigh.  
“What are ya doin’?” Raphael asked furiously, wrenching her hand off of him. “Knock it off. Yer with Don and I’m with Leo.”  
“But you really want me, Raphie. You’re so handsome without your bandana,” April said, cupping his cheek with her hand. “You’re beautiful and those eyes of yours are like pools of golden….I love you.” April pressed her lips onto Raphael’s and ran her hands down his plastron. Then she tugged at his belt with one hand and removed it. It fell to the floor and she ran her hands over his slit and stroked it. "Drop down for me, Raphie. I want to see you in all your glory.”  
Raphael had frozen in shock, but now recovering his senses, he stood up, grabbed his belt, his golden eyes blazing, and snapped, “Yer crazy, I don’t like ya this way, April. I’m with Leo and I love him. Yer with Don and…”  
“It’s you I want to be with Raphie. I’m only with Don, so I can see you more. You feel the same way. I sense it. You want to be with me.”  
“No! I love Leo! We got a family together and I ain’t gonna ruin that.”  
“Leo’s going to die, Raphie. We could have a wonderful life together. Be with me.”  
“I ain’t gonna betray Leo or Don and I ain’t interested in ya, ya crazy bitch. Leave me the fuck alone.”

Raphael stalked off inside, unaware that someone had witnessed him and April kissing. So Raph likes April, huh, Don thought furiously. He’d been about to go outside, when he saw the kiss. Not staying to see what happened next, Don went to the lounge and plopped down in front of the TV, where he was currently situated. I’m going to tell Leo what Raph did, Don thought. He needs to know.

XXXX 

Raphael went to his and Leo’s bedroom and climbed into bed beside his mate. “Raphie,” Leo said sleepily.  
“I’m here, Leo,” Raphael said and kissed his beak. “I love ya.”  
“Love you too. So very much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”  
“Same here, Fearless.”

Raphael snuggled close against his mate and thought, that bitch. As if I’d want her. I got Leo, who I love so much, and even if I weren’t gay, why would I want her? She ain’t my type and she’s supposed ta be with Don. How could she betray him? He adores her and she…I wanna say somethin’, but I don’t wanna cause trouble. No. I gotta tell Don and Leo. They need ta know and April needs ta leave. I’ll do that in the mornin’. Raphael closed his eyes and was asleep in minutes, one hand protectively over Leo's plastron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, dear. Poor Don!


	18. Mikey sets his brothers straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey talks to Leo and Don about Raph and April's kiss and sets the brothers straight about who initiated it. It isn't often that Mikey has such insight into things, but when he does, he's spot on and his brothers listen. Raph and Leo's kids walk in on them when they've been intimate and Raph tells April it's time for a chat.

Leo woke at 4:30 a.m. the next day, June 6, and got up gently, so he wouldn’t wake Raphael and the sleeping twins. Gazing tenderly at his mate, Leo thought, he’s so perfect. I couldn’t be more blessed to have him as my mate and my babies’ daddy. 

XXXXXX 

Leo went into the kitchen to brew some tea and found Don drinking coffee at the table. “Hi, Don,” Leo said pleasantly.  
“Morning, Leo. How you feeling?”  
“I’m okay and you? Couldn’t sleep?”  
“Yes. Lot on my mind.”  
“I’m here if you want an ear. Let me brew some tea and you can tell me.” 

Leo brewed his tea and sat down at the table. “What’s up, Don?”  
“It concerns Raph.”  
“Oh. He’s okay, right? He’s not sick like me, is he?”  
“No. He’s healthy.”  
“Whew. Then what’s wrong?”  
“It’s not easy telling you. You don’t need the extra stress with your illness, but I feel you need to know.”  
“You’re starting to scare me, Don. Spit it out.”  
“Do you trust Raphael?”  
“With my life. Why do you ask?”  
“There are things about Raphael you don’t know. He’s keeping something from you, Leo.”  
“What?” Leo asked nervously. “Raph and I don’t keep secrets from one another. That’s one reason why we’re so happy, because we always communicate.”  
“Hah. That’s what you think. He has you fooled. He has all of us fooled. Mr. I’m so faithful and monogamous. Total BS. He’s having an affair, Leo.”  
“W-what? Raph would never do that to me. He swore he’d be faithful. We both have and we’d never hurt each other.”  
“You wouldn’t, but he IS. I wouldn’t have thought so if it I hadn’t caught them with my own eyes.”  
“Them? Them, who?”  
“Raphael and April.”  
“Raph and April?” Leo said and laughed. “That’s crazy, Don. He's not into her. We’re together and he’s happy with me.”  
“He had his tongue halfway down her throat and he was naked, Leo. They're re having an affair. Typical Raph. He always has to ruin someone’s happiness and he knew I loved her. Why, Leo?”

“Good morning,” Mikey said, breezing into the kitchen. “You guys are up early. I couldn’t sleep. Have the munchies.”  
“I couldn’t sleep either,” Don said. “Raph’s sleeping with April.”  
“W-what? That’s insane. What makes you think that’s true?”  
“Caught them kissing and Raph was naked.”  
“Have you considered that maybe April was kissing him and not the other way around?”

“I know April had the hots for Raph,” Leo said. “And was upset when we married, but she got over it and started dating Casey, Mikey.”  
“They broke up some time ago and she and Don obviously started dating soon afterwards, but my guess is she’s just dating Don to get close to Raph and hoping he’ll fall for her, especially now that Leo’s sick. She kissed Raph. He’d never have kissed her, Leo. He loves you, bro, and the kids and he’d NEVER jeopardize what you guys have. Not for a nanosecond. And he’d never betray Don either.”  
“Then why didn’t Raph tell me what happened?”  
“He probably didn’t want to cause trouble and make things awkward or cause you stress, Leo, and we kind of need her jet to get to Fiji. He was thinking about you, bro.” Mikey placed a hand on Leo’s shoulder and said, “He’s always thinking about you, Leo, and adores you. His whole life's been about you. Even as kids, he followed you everywhere and looked up to you. Do you remember? It was your approval he sought most and his face lit up like a Christmas tree when he got it. It was sweet to watch, dude, and even sweeter when you guys hooked up. To watch your relationship develop, you guys get married and have babies. Things Don and I dream of doing. To be loved like you and Raph love one another. That kind of love comes by once in a lifetime and you and Raph are blessed to have each other, so given how much he adores you and still looks to you for approval, (I see it in his gestures and the way he looks at you), do you really think he’d ruin what you guys have over April or anyone else?”  
“No,” Leo said, shaking his head. “I’ve never thought that, but I did wonder why he didn’t tell me. Thanks, Mikey.”  
“I may not be the smartest guy, bro, but I do know that what you and Raph have is real and he’d rather die than hurt you or Don. Or me, for that matter.”

“It was April, Mikey?” Don said. “She’s never liked me?”  
“Not the way you want. She’s clearly got designs on Raph. I think we should use her jet, go to Fiji and then banish her from the lair. Don, you'll meet someone better than her. That girl’s never been deserving of you and you’re one hell of a guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you.”

“I’ll ask Raph what he thinks we should do,” Leo said. “Thanks, Mikey, and I’m sorry, Don.”  
“It’s fine, Leo. I should have known it was too good to be true that she finally liked me,” Don said bitterly. “I’m going for a walk.”

“I’ll come with you, bro,” Mikey said. “I could use a walk, but I want something to eat first. How about some ice cream, Don? Leo?”  
“Chocolate?” Don asked.  
“Fudge.”  
“It’ll do. Is there whipped cream?”

“No ice cream, thanks,” Leo said and with a twinkle in his eyes added, “One of the cartons of double cream’s mine. Well, for Raphie. I want to give him a wonderful wake up.”  
“I’m too young for this conversation,” Mikey said, covering his ear slits. “Take the cream and go, Leo.”  
“I will,” Leo said and chuckled, as he got the cream from the fridge. He winked and said, “Don’t use all the chocolate sauce. It’s for me and Raphie tonight.”  
“Go, Leo! I didn’t know you were so kinky.”  
“Raph’s influence,” Leo said and chuckled. “He’s full of ideas.”

XXXXX 

Leo went into his bedroom. Then he opened the carton of cream, gently pulled down the covers and started rubbing Raphael’s slit.

Raphael opened his eyes and said, "What are ya doin’, Leo?”  
“Giving you something special. You’ve been under a lot of stress. Let me make you feel good.”  
“Leo, there’s somethin’ I gotta say. April…”  
“I know, sweet Raphie,” Leo said, and tenderly kissed Raphael on his lips. “Don told me. He saw everything and I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. It was her.”  
“Don saw and presumed I liked her?”  
“Yes, but Mikey set him straight about that and said you wouldn’t betray me or Don.”  
“Damn right. What me and ya got is fuckin’ special, Leo. I wouldn’t do nothin' ta wreck it. I’ve always been yers. Only yers and I wouldn't go for April, even if I were straight. Ain't the type of girl I’d go for and I know Don likes her. I'd never hurt him."  
“I know that and the only reason you didn’t tell me was because you didn’t want to cause tension here, because we need her jet.”  
“Yeah. Fuckin’ bitch still should let us use her jet and then she should fuck off.”  
“That’s what Mikey said, but I wanted to ask you what you thought, because you’re our leader and you have final say.”  
“We’ll do what Mikey said.”  
“Good. But right now, I want to make you happy. Lie back and enjoy.”  
“Man, I’m so lucky ta have ya, Leo. I’m gonna miss ya so much,” Raphael said, blinking back tears.  
“I’m not gone yet, Raphie. I want to love you. This is going to be so much fun.”  
“Did ya bring the chocolate sauce?”  
“Yes. That’s for tonight.”  
“Heh. Yer so kinky, Leo. I love it!”  
“You rubbed off on me, Raphie.

Leo smeared the cream all over Raphael’s body. Then he rubbed Raphael’s slit until he dropped down and covered his shaft in the cream. “You’re going to love this, Raphie,” Leo said. He started licking the cream off of Raphael’s body, sending delicious thrills down his spine and making him churr. Leo then turned his attention to Raphael’s turtlehood, deep throating it.

The couple tried to keep their lovemaking noises to an acceptable noise level that didn’t disturb anyone, especially their kids, but Raphael couldn’t help himself this time and yelled, “Fuck, Leo! Oh, fuck. That’s amazin’. That’s it. Oh. I’m gonna cum soon! Fuck. Don’t stop!” Leo continued sucking and it wasn’t long before Raphael climaxed with a loud roar, yelling Leo’s name and shooting his seed down Leo’s throat. The sapphire eyed turtle eagerly swallowed and when Raphael pulled out, Leo licked him clean and tenderly planted a kiss on Raphael's lips.

Lily opened the bedroom door and went inside, Leo jr behind her. "Daddy, you're shouting?" she said. "Are you hurt?”

Leo flopped down beside Raphael and said, “Your daddy and I were just playing a game.”  
“What game, Daddy?” Leo jr said.  
“Hide and seek.”

“Oh,” Lily said. “Can we play, Daddy?”  
“Sure,” Raphael said stifled a chuckle. “Go hide and we’ll come find you.”  
“Cool. Come on, Leo,” Lily said and dragged Leo jr out of the room.

“Hide and seek, Leo?” Raphael said. “That’s inventive.”  
“Well, I did seek and find your cock and I claimed it.”  
“Ya did,” Raphael said and pressed his lips against Leo’s, which resulted in a fierce kiss.

The twins who’d slept through everything, now woke, demanding to be fed. Sighing, Raphael pulled away and said, “I got it, Leo. Ya can rest if ya wanna.”  
“You’re the best, Raphie.”

Raphael kissed his mate, changed the twins and carried them into the kitchen.

XXXXX 

Raphael saw Leo jr and Lily sitting at the table and eating bowls of cereal. April was at the table, reading a magazine and drinking tea.

Raphael ignored April, kissed his kids on the head, placed the babies in their pram and began preparing formulal. “Auntie April found us and got us cereal, Daddy,” Leo jr said.  
“I see that,” Raphael said. “Is it good?”  
“Wanna try it, Daddy?”  
“No, thanks, tiger. Ya enjoy it.”

“Morning, Raph,” April said, glancing up from her magazine. “Sleep well?”  
“Fine."

Lily blew bubbles in her milk and she and Leo jr giggled. 

No, Lily. Ya don’t blow bubbles in yer milk. It's rude," Raphael admonished, getting the ready formula. Then he picked up Ali and sat down at the table to feed her.

“But it’s funny, Daddy,” Lily said. “Leo thinks so too.”  
“I don’t,” Raphael said, “Ya know not ta play with yer food. Don’t do it again.”  
“Okay, Daddy.”

After Raphael had fed Ali and placed her in the pram, he fed Amy. “I’m done, Daddy,” Lily said.  
“Great,” Raphael said. “Ya and Leo go play in yer room and no drawin’ on the walls. Got it?”

“Okay, Daddy,” Leo jr and Lily said in unison. They pushed back their chairs and went to their room.

“You’re so good with them, Raph,” April said. “Who’d have thought you’d be such a great dad?”  
“Leo did. He always thought the best of me,” Raphael said calmly, finishing feeding his daughter. He then placed her back in the pram and kissed the twin's heads. Then he said, "Now we're gonna have a chat.”  
“You’ve come to your senses, Raph,” April purred seductively and placed a hand on Raphael's leg.  
The golden eyed turtled wrenched her hands off of him and said, “Ya could say that. Time ta set ya straight, fuckin’ April O’ Neil, and this is gonna be the last time, because we’ve all fuckin’ had enough of ya!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this the end of the friendship between the guys and April?


	19. Raph snaps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy strikes as two unexpected deaths occur.

April, not one to cower, said, “I like you, Raph. You like me. We have…”  
“Nothin’. It’s all in yer damn head. Whatever fantasy ya have ‘bout us, get it outta yer head, ‘cause it ain’t gonna happen. Ever. I love Leo and I’d never betray him.”  
“He’s going to die,” April said spitefully. “Have you thought about that? What will you do then? Mourn him forever and deny yourself another shot at love?”  
“Ain’t yer fuckin’ concern what I’ll do. Yer gonna give us the jet, so that me and Leo can go ta our place with our kids and have time ta together. I want ya ta leave it by the airfield we use. Casey will fly us ta Fiji. Ya ain’t comin’ with us, because we’re no longer friends. I want ya ta fuck off and if ya ever come near us again,” Raphael said, gripping her shoulder so tightly that April winced. “I’ll kill ya. I mean it. I won’t have a tramp tryin’ ta meddle with me and my family.”  
“I’m not a tramp and I love you. I backed off when you guys got together, but now fate’s dealt us a lucky hand. Leo’s going to die and we can be together. Me and you. I know you love me, Raphael. You want to ram your huge cock into me and make me yours. I can make you happy. Let me. Don’t deny yourself.”

The twins had fallen asleep and didn't wake, despite the raised voices.

Raphael’s eyes blazed. He angrily pushed back his chair, picked her up and shoved her against the wall, his face mere inches from hers. Then he gripped her by the neck and began to squeeze, watching as she struggled to breathe, her limbs flailing. Her face turned purple and he dropped her to the ground.

She gasped for breath and Raphael said icily, “Do ya get the message now, O’Neil? I want ya gone. Now. That was yer first and last warnin’. I'll kill ya if ya come back again..”  
“Raphael…”  
“I mean it,” Raphael said. He took his sai out of his belt and pointed it at her. “Go now.”  
“You’ll be sorry, Raphael. We could have had a….”

It was so swift, April barely felt it as the sai sliced her cheek and blood began to seep onto the floor. Raising a hand to her cheek, April said, “I’ll go, Raphael, but you’ll be sorry. Leo’s going to die and I’m going to tell every scientist about you and your family. You’ll be locked up and experimented on. And it’ll be your fault if…”

Incensed, Raphael snapped and ran his sai through her chest, watching, as she fell to the floor, clutching her belly, eyes wide in shock. Blood pooled onto the floor, staining the wooden floor crimson. Horrified at what he’d done, Raphael withdrew the sai and ran out of the room, leaving his still sleeping twins in their pram and April to die.

XXXXXX 

Raphael ran outside and nearly collided with Casey, who’d just arrived in his van. “Raph, whoa, man. Stop,” Casey said. “Where are you going?”  
“Away. I need ta get away. I did somethin’ bad. Why are ya here?”  
“Figured you needed a friend with everything going on. What did you do?”  
“I killed….I killed April. We were fightin', because she was tryin’ ta break me and Leo up and when I told her ta get lost, she threatened ta tell scientists ‘bout us. I snapped and stabbed her with my sai. I think she’s dead, Casey. Fuck. She’s dead. I’m a monster. How am I gonna explain it ta her dad? He’s gonna ask.”  
“It was an accident, Raph, but we could say she died in a fight or a wild animal killed her. He’ll believe it. April was always helping us in battles and there are wild animals in the forest.”  
“Ya really think he’ll buy it?” Raphael asked hopefully.  
“Yes. We’d better get rid of her before the kids find her.”

XXXXX 

Meanwhile, an injured April had yelled for help and Mikey had come running. Leo jr and Lily had followed him and Mikey had shooed them out before they could see her. Then Mikey turned his attention to April. “What happened?” he asked.  
“Raphael stabbed me. Help me. I think I’m going to pass out. Help me, Mikey. Please,” April shrieked. “I’m going to die. I’m losing blood fast. Please.”  
“I’ll get Don. Try not to panic.”

April felt weaker, as her blood continued to gush onto the floor. Her breathing became labored, her eyes grew glassy and she saw a white light and her grandmother. “I’m coming home, gran,” she said. “I’ll see you soon.” Her body gave a final shudder and her eyes closed shut forever. 

XXXXX 

Mikey returned to the kitchen with Don in tow. Don said without looking at her, “She’s dead, Mikey. Nothing we can do. Do you know what happened?”  
“Raph stabbed her. I’m sorry, bro. I know you loved her.”  
“I did, but she never loved me,” Don said sadly.  
“What will we tell her dad?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“We have to bury her, dude. We don’t want the kids to see her.”  
“Go be with the kids. I have it covered.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes. Go be with them and don’t let them in here.”  
“I’m sorry, bro. I really am.”

Don cleaned April as best as he could, trying not to break down, as he thought of the life they could have had together. Things could have been so different, April, he thought. If you’d loved me. I’d have done anything for you, but now you’re dead and we have to bury you before you…..Don wiped away a stray tear that coursed down his cheek and thought, I really loved you from the moment we met. Your laugh, your smile. Everything. I can’t believe you’re dead and that Raph took your life. More tears flowed down his cheeks and he buried his head in his hands, his sobs wracking his body.

Raphael and Casey entered the kitchen a few minutes later. Taking in his weeping brother, Raphael said softly, “Is she dead, Don?”  
“She is. Thanks to you,” Don said, getting to his feet. He glared at his brother and said, "What were you thinking, Raphael?”  
“It was an accident, Donnie. We were arguin’ and she threatened ta tell scientists ‘bout us. I couldn’t let that happen and I saw red. I stabbed her, but I didn’t mean ta kill her. Honest. I just wanted ta scare her, so she’d fuck off. I’m so sorry. If I could…”

April’s cell on the table rang and Casey answered it. “Hi?”  
“Casey, it’s Mr. O’Neil. Is my daughter around?”  
“No, sir. I have some bad news. April was in a fight and she didn’t make it.”  
“My baby’s dead?” Mr. O’Neil said sadly.  
“Yes, sir.”  
“She’d want to be buried at the farm house. She loved that place so much. I know you guys are no longer dating, Casey, but could you do that for her?”  
“Yes. Are you coming down to see her?”  
“No. I want to remember her the way she was. Beautiful and bubbly. My little angel…”

“Devil more like,” Raphael mumbled, earning glares from Casey and Don. “Well, she was!” Raphael snapped. “I’m sorry she’s dead, but she was no angel.”

“Tell me where she’s buried and when I feel stronger and able to face things, I’ll come down,” Mr. O’Neil said. “I can’t right now. I have to go, Casey. Thank you for being such a good friend to my daughter and tell the turtles I say the same thing. Bye.”

Casey disconnected the call and relayed the conversation to the others. Then he said, "We need to bury her now." 

XXXXXX 

Casey, Raphael and Don carried April into the forest to her favorite tree, dug a hole and placed her in it. Don shed tears, as he looked at the woman he’d always adored. Raphael looked down at the ground, unable to look at her and his brother. Casey said with a lump in his throat, “Ape, I’m gonna miss you so much and I’ll always love you. I’m sorry things ended this way. Raphael would like to say a few words, wouldn’t you, Raphael?”

Unused to being called his full name by his friend, Raphael flinched. It’s not good, he thought. Casey’s mad. So mad. This could be the enda our friendship. He said it was an accident, but I can tell seein’ the woman he loves in that hole, he’s had time ta think and he’s mad. So mad at me.

“April, I’m sorry,” Raphael whispered. “I didn’t mean ta...”  
“But you did!” Casey yelled. “I know I said it was probably an accident, Raphael, but seeing her like this made me think. Maybe it wasn’t one. You were angry and decided to kill her for saying those things.”  
Raphael shook his head and said, “No, Case. It was…”  
“I’d have been mad too. Admit it, Raphael. You wanted her dead.”  
“NO. I didn’t. I just wanted the crazy bitch ta leave me the fuck alone!”  
Casey withdrew his sword from its sheath on his back and said, “You should die, Raphael. An eye for an eye. You were my friend, but you killed the woman I loved. It's unforgiveable!”

Raphael dropped to his knees and tilted his head back, allowing Casey access to his neck.  
“Yer right,” Raphael whispered. “I deserve death. I took a life. Take mine.”

Just as Casey was about to strike, Don said, “No one else is dying today. There’s been too much death. I don’t want this and neither would April. As much as I loved her and am saddened by her death and I know Raph's a hothead, I believe him when he said that it was an accident. He liked her and would NEVER have intentionally hurt her. Casey, give me that knife."  
"No! He has to die," Casey screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Casey lunged at Raphael and Don jumped at Casey. The two wrestled on the ground, battling for the sword. Suddenly, there was a sickening, agonized scream and Casey fell onto the ground, holding his belly, his eyes wide in surprise. Blood gushed out of his stomach and onto the ground. “You stabbed me, Don,” he whispered. “How….” His words were cut off, as his body gave the death rattle and his eyes now stared vacantly at the sky.

“Ya killed him, Don,” Raphael whispered.  
“I had no choice. He was like a maniac and nothing would have stopped him from following through with his plans. You know that, right?” Don said, helping Raphael to his feet.  
“Yeah, but he was my friend. I…”  
“And April was someone I loved. I know, Raph. I’m sorry, but I had no choice.”

Raphael’s phone rang. “Hey, Leo,” Raphael said as calmly as he could manage.  
“Where are you?”  
“Forest. I’ll be home in a bit.”  
“You okay? I can tell from your voice something happened.”  
“No. I’m not okay,” Raphael choked out. “I did somethin’ real bad.”  
“Raphie, whatever it is, we’ll work through it together, okay? I love you.”  
“I love ya too, Leo, but ya'll hate me when ya know what I’ve done.”  
“I could never hate you, Raphie. Hurry home. I miss you.”

Raphael turned to Don and said, “Leo said that he’ll never stop lovin’ me no matter what I do. Do ya hate me, Don?”  
“No. I’m sad she's dead, but I don’t hate you, Raph. I could never hate you. You’re my brother and I'll always love you, no matter what you do. Let’s bury them before the wild animals get to them.”

Raphael and Don dug another hole and placed Casey into it. Then they tossed sand onto the makeshift graves, covering the bodies, and went back to the farmhouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will Leo handle the news about Casey and April?


	20. FLASHBACK: RAPH AND LEO'S FIRST FATHER'S DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to when Raph and Leo had their First Father's Day and Mikey pranks.

FOUR YEARS EARLIER:

Raphael and Leo were woken at six a.m., by a screaming two-month-old Leo jr. “I’ll get him, Leo,” Raphael said. “Ya sit here and look pretty.”  
“I’m not pretty,” Leo huffed. “I’m a guy!”  
“Hah,” Raphael said, picking up the baby and cradling him to his chest. “We both know yer the girl in our relationship. Ya can't call me beautiful with all my scars, but ya are, Leo."  
“Bah,” Leo said, ducking his head, embarrassed. “I disagree. Your scars add character, Raph, and you’re beautiful to me inside and out.”

Raphael laughed. Then he changed the baby and handed him to Leo. “Hold him. I’m gonna make his breakfast,” Raphael said and pressed a kiss to Leo’s cheek. “Do ya know what today is, Leo?”  
“The day my lover's going to fuck me so good?”  
“Heh. Well, that and… I’ll be back now.”

XXXXXX 

Raphael went into the kitchen and began making the formula. Mikey entered the kitchen and said, "Morning, Raphie."  
“Don’t call me that, knucklehead!” Raphael said, He walked over to Mikey and smacked his head.  
“Ouch! You pack a punch for the mommy!” Mikey complained, rubbing his head.  
“I’m not a mommy, Mikey. We’ve been over this,” Raphael huffed.  
“Guys don’t carry eggs, bro, so you kind of are. What will you do when the kids ask who their mommy is?”  
“I haven’t thought ‘bout it. A lotta kids got two daddies in today's society, Mikey, so it’s not an anomaly.”  
“A what?”  
“Not uncommon.”  
“Oh. You’re using big words, dude.”  
“Yeah. Clearly too big for ya.”  
“You calling me stupid, dude?”  
“Maybe I am,” Raphael said and smirked.  
“Aw. I’m not,” Mikey said and started to cry.

Don entered the room and said, “What’s going on>Mikey?”  
“Raphie called me stupid.”

“He asked if I was callin' him stupid. I was just bein’ honest,” Raphael said and laughed.  
“I’m going to get you back, dude,” Mikey said and ran off to his room.

“You’d better watch out, Raph,” Don said, brewing his coffee.  
“Ain't the first time I’ve called him stupid. Those were crocodile tears anyway and I ain't afraid. I can handle whatever Mikey dishes out.”  
“Sure you can,” Don scoffed. “That’s why you cried like a girl when Mikey put cockroaches in your bed and Leo had to wash and change the sheets before you'd get into bed.”  
Raphael flushed and said, “Well, that was just plain mean!”  
“And the time Mikey got you with black tar with that trip wire by your bedroom. It landed on you when you opened the door! And he sent the photos to our friends.”  
“All right. Enough with memory lane,” Raphael huffed. “I gotta feed the kid.”  
“How's the little one?”  
“He’s awesome,” Raphael said and smiled. “Beautiful. Just like his daddy and as greedy.”  
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”  
“I was meanin’ food, Don! Get yer mind outta the gutter! Ya really need a girlfriend with that gutter mind of yers! See ya later.”

Raphael got the formula and headed to his bedroom.

XXXXX 

Leo was rocking the baby and singing a lullaby that Splinter had sung to them when they were small. “Here ya go, Leo,” Raphael said, handing the bottle to Leo.  
“Why don’t you feed him?” Leo asked. “You’re so good with him, Raph. Better than me.”  
“Not true,” Raphael said, but took the baby and smiled at him. “We’re both good parents. Who’d have thought we’d have a kid, Leo? He’s so gorgeous. Just like ya,” Raphael added, taking the bottle from Leo and feeding the baby. Leo jr sucked noisily, his big blue eyes wide, gazing at Raphael, whose heart swelled with love and pride. This was his family. His. One he’d thought he’d never have and he cherished them, knowing he’d give up his life for them if it came to it.

Leo watched them, his heart filled with love. Raphael had always been temperamental and hot headed, but when they’d hooked up, Raphael had soon become a lot calmer and more at peace, especially when the baby arrived. He'd taken to parenting quicker than Leo had, revealing the tender side he’d previously only shown to Leo during their quiet moments together. And he was usually the one, who got up in the middle of the night, letting Leo sleep. Now, as Leo watched them, he thought, this is the perfect life. Me, Raph and our baby. Life couldn’t be any better.

Leo gazed at Raphael, who had a gentle smile on his face, and said, “We’re so blessed to have this, Raphie.”  
Raphael looked up and said, “We are. Do ya wanna have more kids?”  
“I’d like that. A little girl.”  
“Uh huh, but I ain’t gonna play dress up for tea parties or any of that girly shit she’ll like.”  
Leo laughed. “Maybe she’ll be a tomboy.”  
“I can hope!”  
“But if we have a girl and she is very girly, I’m sure she’ll have you wound around her fingers and you'll do what she wants. You’re a softie, Raphie, though you pretend you aren’t.”  
Leo jr finished his bottle and squawked. Raphael looked at him, concern on his handsome face. “It’s okay, little one. I’m here," he said and stroked the baby’s face. "Sh. Yeah, Leo. Yer right. I am, but I ain’t gonna wear makeup, okay?”  
“Okay,” Leo said and burst out laughing. “Lipstick would suit you.”  
“Would make me look like a clown!” Raphael said and burped the baby.

Raphael finished burping the baby. Then he placed him back in his cot, kissed him and said, "Daddy and I are gonna fuck. Sleep, okay?”  
“Raph, you can’t talk like that to the baby!” Leo admonished.  
“He don’t know what I’m sayin’,” Raphael said. He approached the bed and looked' at his lover with hooded eyes.  
“But I do and you shouldn’t swear….”

Leo’s words were cut off, because Raphael jumped on top of him and pinned him to the bed. Then he covered Leo's body in bite marks. “Wow, Raph!” Leo said.  
“We ain’t had much sex since he hatched, Leo, and I wanna fuck ya so bad. Is that so bad?” Raphael asked and nipped Leo’s collarbone, eliciting a churr from him.  
“No. I want it too, but what if he wakes up?”  
“We’ll be quiet.”  
“You and quiet don’t go in the same sentence.”  
“Shut up, Leo, and spread yer legs.”  
“No. It’s your turn to bottom,” Leo said and flipped him over.  
“Whatever ya want, Fearless Leader, but just fuck me already! I can’t wait no longer!”

Leo kissed him deeply and ran his hands down Raphael’s plastron, until he found his slit. He rubbed it until Raphael’s precum soaked cock made its entrance. Leo pressed a kiss to it, drawing a churr from his emerald skinned lover. “You like that, Raphie, huh?” Leo asked. “You’re going to love this.” Leo pushed his fingers into Raphael’s entrance, prepping him. 

Leo thrust inside of Raphael when he was satisfied he was ready, which elicited a deep rumble from him. The hothead adjusted his hips, so that Leo could go even deeper. Leo paused. “Fuck me already, Leo. Why are ya stoppin’?” Raphael demanded.  
“Fuck me what?”  
“Just fuck me.”  
“Anyone ever told you that you're needy, Raphie? You sound like a needy girl!”  
“Fuck me. Please, okay? Just do it!”  
Leo chuckled and said, “Your wish is my command.”

Leo pounded in and out, soon building a steady rhythm that had them moving as one. Their churring was so loud that Raphael was grateful the baby was a pretty deep sleeper and didn’t wake up. Leo was the first to cum and with a loud churr, he shot his jizz deep into Raphael, who came a minute later, a deep rumble rolling up his throat. 

Leo pulled out, kissed Raphael and said breathlessly, "That was amazing. Never ceases to amaze me that you’re still so tight.”  
“Ya too, Leo. I love ya.”  
“I love you too, Raph.”  
“Hey, Leo Ya do know what day it is, right?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good. I have presents.”  
“Me too.”

The lovers got out of bed and retrieved the presents from the cupboards they’d hidden them in. “Here’s yours, Raphie,” Leo said, handing him a red gift wrapped box.  
Raphael opened it and saw that Leo had given him a card. There was a photo of Raphael holding the baby shortly after he'd hatched on the front. Leo jr's handprints, a sonogram of him and a message saying "Happy First Father’s Day, Daddy. Love you lots, Leo.” was inside.

Raphael beamed and kissed his mate on the lips. “I love this, Leo. Thanks so much.”  
“You’re welcome, Raphie.”  
“Here’s yers,” Raphael said and handed Leo a gold gift wrapped box. “Hope ya like it.”

A card was inside the box. There was a photo of Leo and Raphael holding hands on the front of the card. It'd been taken shortly after their first date. There was a message inside that read "Happy First Father’s Day. I love ya so much, Leo.” There was also a pregnancy kit, which was blue, taped to the card. “What, Raph?” Leo said, staring at it, his eyes wide in shock.  
“Yeah. Leo. I found out last night. Had been feelin' sick for a while. We had sex a few weeks ago and I’m three weeks along. Gonna drop the egg in December and he or she'll hatch in February. Yer not happy?” Raphael asked anxiously.  
“Surprised, but oh so very thrilled,” Leo said and smashed his mouth against his mate’s. 

They kissed passionately and when they came up for air, Leo said, “This is the best present you could have given me, Raph. So that’s why you asked if I wanted more kids.”  
“Yeah.”  
“How do you feel about it?”  
“Excited. Leo jr will have a brother or sister, like every kid should.”  
“This calls for a celebration.”  
“I can’t drink alcohol, Leo.”  
“I know. I’m going to get something special. Keep the bed warm.”

XXXXX 

Needing a dump, Leo first went to the bathroom and sat down. He tried standing up when he was finished, but found that he was glued to the seat. “Mikey!” he screamed. “I’m going to kill you!”  
Raphael entered the bathroom, having heard his mate's cries, and said, "What is it, Leo?"  
"Mikey's pranking again and I’m glued to the seat. Fuck.”  
“Yer halo’s slippin’, Leo. Ya cursed,” Raphael said and smirked.  
“Shut up, Raph, and get Don.”  
“I’m gonna pound Mikey.”  
“Get in line!”

xxxxx 

Raphael soon found Don, but there was no sign of Mikey, who’d made himself scarce. 

XXXX 

Don managed to take off the toilet seat and got it off of Leo after a long time. “Your fault, Raph,” he said. “You teased Mikey.”  
“I weren’t ta know he’d do this.”  
“You’re usually the first in the bathroom and he thought it’d be you. You okay, Leo?”

“I’m fine. Just my pride hurt that’s all,” Leo huffed, crossing his arms. “What did you say to him, Raph?”  
“He asked if I was callin’ him stupid. I said yes and he flipped.”

“Another toilet I have to repair,” Don complained. “You'll pay for it, Raph.”  
“Why me?”  
“He wouldn't have done it if you hadn't teased him. You agree, Leo?”

“Yes,” Leo said. “But now I’m going to punish Mikey.”  
“Me too,” Raphael said, cracking his knuckles. 

“Some things never change,” Don muttered.

XXXXXX 

Leo and Raphael found Mikey under his bed. Dragging him out, Raphael said, “We got a special assignment for ya, Mikey.”  
“Oh, what? You really going to punish me?” Mikey said and smiled innocently. “I’m your sweet, baby brother. You don’t want to.”  
“We do.”  
“It’s your fault!”  
“So, Leo. What do ya think we should do? Hot chili sauce in his mouth?”

“Done that, Raph,” Leo said. “What does Mikey fear most?”  
“Poop diapers.”

“No, no, no,” Mikey wailed. “That’s gross, dudes.”  
“Too bad,” Raphael said. “Ya get the entire day with Leo jr, while me and Leo get some time alone. That’s yer punishment, whether ya like it or not.”  
“I hate you!”

“And two weeks of doing our chores,” Leo said. “Come on.”

XXXXX 

The brothers took Mikey to their room, gave him all he’d need for the baby and crept into bed. “How do ya think he’ll cope, Leo?” Raphael asked.  
"I think he'll be all right, but hate it and he’ll behave for a while. Want to play some more?"  
"Yeah, but you'll bottom."

XXXXXX

While Raphael and Leo made love, their churring echoing throughout the lair, Mikey struggled to change Leo jr’s diaper. “Gross,” he said and made a face. “This is the worst thing I’ve ever done.” Leo jr flailed his limbs and looked up at his uncle. “I’d rather fight Shredder a billion times than this. I don’t know what to do.”  
“Having trouble, Mikey?” Don asked, entering Mikey’s room. “I came to see if Leo and Raph had smacked you.”  
“No. Got a worse fate, dude. Changing him. Do you know what to do?”  
“Yes. Watch me.”

Don showed Mikey what to do and Mikey said, as he changed Leo jr, “Just like that, Donnie?”  
“Yes. Nothing to it. A few more times and you’ll be a pro. Need any more help?”  
“No. Thanks, Donnie.”  
“I’ll be fixing the toilet. Behave, Mikey. You don’t want to annoy them, especially now that Raph’s gravid again. Oops,” Don said and clapped his hands to his mouth.  
“How do you know?”  
Don removed his hands from his mouth and said, "His skin's glowing more like the last time, which is a sign. Don’t say anything. They’ll tell us when they’re ready, okay?”  
“I promise.”  
"Later."

Mikey cradled Leo jr and thought, gravid or not, I’m still going to get the guys back. An idea popped into his head and his eyes gleamed. Yeah. That’s what I’m going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Father's Day to all the great dads out there.


	21. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers try to deal with the aftermath of April and Casey's deaths. And Raph bonds with Lily.

BACK IN THE PRESENT: JUNE 6

Raphael and Don arrived back at the farmhouse and were met by Leo jr and Lily. “Daddy!” Lily yelled, wrapping her arms around Raphael’s legs. “You’re back.”  
“Hey, princess,” Raphael said, patting her head. “Were ya two good for Uncle Mikey? Speakin' of whom, where is he?”

“Kitchen, Daddy,” Leo jr said. “Said he had to clean. Where’s Aunty April?”  
“She had to go home,” Don said quickly. “Why don’t you two watch TV, while your Daddy and I go see if Uncle Mikey’s nearly done?”

“Bored of cartoons,” Lily said and pouted. “Want to play tea party. Daddy, play with me? Please!”  
“I’ll play later,” Raphael said. “I promise, but I can’t now.”  
The little girl huffed and crossed her arms. “You better, Daddy. You know how much fun I have and you don’t want me to cry, right?”  
“I promise I’ll dress up. I’ll even wear makeup, but not now, Lily.”  
“When?”  
“As soon as I’m done talkin’ ta yer uncles. Watch the cartoons.”  
“NOW!” Lily said, stamping her foot and preparing to throw a tantrum.

“I’ll play,” Don offered, looking at his exasperated and exhausted brother, who was clenching his fists and taking in deep breaths, trying to contain his anger and not yell back. “You go talk to Mikey and Leo, Raph.”  
“NO,” Lily screamed. “I want Daddy.”

Leo entered the room and demanded, "What's going on here? Hamato Lily Shen, was that you I heard screaming?”  
“Daddy won’t play dress up and I want to play.”

“Not true,” Don said. “He said he’d play later and she threw a fit, Leo.”  
“I know she does that when she doesn’t get her way.” Leo turned to his daughter and said, “Time out. You don’t yell at your daddy, Lily. You know better than that.”

“But I want to play,” Lily said sulkily.  
“Too bad,” Leo said firmly, grabbing her hand. “You'll go to the bathroom and will stay there for ten minutes. Then you’ll apologize to Daddy. Do you hear me?”  
“But…”  
“No buts,” Leo said. He led her out of the room and to the bathroom.

Leo retuned a few minutes later, looked at his son and said, "Leo, you’ll keep quiet, unless you want time out too.”  
“Yes, Daddy,” Leo jr said and turned his attention to the TV.

XXXXX 

The brothers went into the kitchen and found Mikey scrubbing the wooden floor. He’d gotten most of April’s blood out and was now frantically trying to get the rest out. “Mikey, stop,” Leo said.  
“You guys are back. You okay?”

“No,” Raphael said and sighed sadly. “Casey’s also dead, Mikey.”  
“Casey too? How?”

“He went berserk after burying April," Don said. “Said Raph had to die and pay for killing April. Raph dropped to his knees and was going to let Casey kill him, but I couldn’t let that happen and I…I killed Casey. We buried them both.”

“Raphie, you okay?” Leo asked. He grabbed his mate's hand and squeezed it.  
“It’s all my fault, Leo. None of this woulda happened if I hadn’t killed April. But when she said those things ‘bout sendin’ our kids ta scientists, I snapped and ran my sai through her chest. Fuck. I didn’t mean for her ta die. I just wanted her ta go away. And now she and Casey are dead. Our friends. My best friend outsidea the family. Don shoulda let me die. I deserved ta.”  
“No, Raph. You didn’t and I'd have done the same thing if I'd been there. What happened is unfortunate, but you were protecting your family, Raphie, and being a parent. No one can blame you,” Leo said. He pulled his mate close to him and wrapped his arms around him.

Raphael nuzzled into Leo’s neck, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Sh, Raphie,” Leo soothed. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll get through this. Aishiteru.”  
“Aishiteru, Leo,” Raphael said in a broken voice. “The kids are gonna keep askin’ ‘bout April.”  
“We’ll tell them she made us mad and we’re no longer friends. They’ll buy that. Sh, Raph. It’s okay. I’m here.”

The mates pulled apart a few minutes later and Raphael said, “Ya hate me, Mikey?”  
“No, dude. I’m sorry they’re gone, but like Leo said, you were protecting your kids. I’d have done the same thing. What now, Leo?”

“We get through it as a family,” Leo said. “Be strong for each other and we'll talk about if any of us are feeling down. That includes you, Raph. Don’t bottle things in. Promise me you won’t.”  
“Okay, Leo. I’m so, so sorry. I ain’t been leader long and I fucked up. Ya shoulda picked Donnie or Mikey. Not me. I’m just a fuck-up.”  
“Not true, Raphie,” Leo said, cupping Raphael’s face. “I’ve never thought that about you and neither have our brothers. We love you and that won’t change. It was a horrible tragedy, but it’s not your fault. Takara, stop blaming yourself.”  
Raphael blushed at the endearment takara, which meant treasure, and said, “Okay. Enough sappy shit, Fearless.”

“Leo, are we going to stay at the farmhouse?” Don asked.

Leo jr ran into the kitchen and said, “There’s someone at the door, Daddy.”  
“Must be Kala,” Mikey said. “She said she’d be here soon. I’ll go.”

XXXXXX 

Mikey went to the front door, followed by his nephew, and opened it. Kala stood there and said, “Mikey, I missed you,”  
“Me too,” Mikey said and hugged and kissed her. “You remember my nephew, Leo.”  
“Hey, Leo. You’ve grown, since I last saw you. Must be five now?”

“Four, Aunty Kala,” Leo said.  
“Where’s your sister?”  
“In the bathroom. She was bad and my other two sisters are sleeping. Want to see the eggs?”

Raphael, Leo and Don entered the lounge. After quick hugs all round, Leo said, “Planning on staying long, Kala?”  
“Indefinitely,” she said, looking at Mikey expectantly.

Mikey cleared his throat and said, “Me and Kala are engaged, dudes. We were hoping to have our bonding ceremony in November, but we’re going to move it up to July.” There was no need to say why. It was obvious it was because of Leo’s condition and that they didn’t expect him to make it to November.

“Congratulations,” Mikey’s three brothers said in unison and hugged the engaged couple.

“Daddy!” Lily whined from the bathroom. “Has it been ten minutes?”

“I’ll get her,” Raphael said.

XXXXX 

Raphael went into the bathroom and said, “Got somethin’ ta tell me, Lily?”  
“I’m hungry.”  
“No. That ain't. What did Daddy Leo tell ya ta do?”  
“Not to yell.”  
“Ya know what I mean,” Raphael said and made an exasperated face.  
“That I love you.”  
“Wasn’t that.”  
The little girl scrunched up her face in thought and said, “That I’m sorry, Daddy.”  
“That’s it,” Raphael said. He bent down to her level and pulled her close. “I love ya so much, Lily, but it’s not nice when ya scream at me.”  
“I’m sorry, Daddy.”  
“All right. I forgive you. Let’s go ta Daddy Leo.”  
“Can we play dress up, Daddy? Please. I won’t yell again.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Will you wear the princess dress with the tiara and bows?”  
“Yes,” Raphael said, rolling his eyes. He hated it, but Leo had been right when they’d discussed having a daughter. He'd said that she’d have Raphael wrapped around her fingers and would make him play dress up.

The little girl knew Raphael was a sucker. More so than Leo, who almost always got out of the dress up thing, but Raphael would suck it up, as long as his daughter was happy. Even the makeup.

The little girl squealed happily and said, “We have to have tea too, Daddy." She tugged on his arm and added, "Hurry."  
“Naturally. Come on. Let’s get it over with.”  
“I think you like it, Daddy. You’re so cute in the dress.”  
“Boys aren’t cute!” Raphael said and pretended to growl.  
Lily laughed and said, “Come on.”

“Where are you going, Raphie?” Leo asked, seeing Raphael being tugged by Lily.  
“Have a guess, Leo,” Raphael muttered.  
“Have fun!” Leo said and smirked.

“Where's he going, Leo?” Kala asked.  
“Dress up. Lily loves dressing him up. She’s got him wrapped around her fingers and knows it.”

“Raph was always a deep softy deep down,” Don said. “I think it’s sweet.”  
“I suppose she wants tea. I’ll make it,” Mikey said.

XXXXXX 

The adults chatted in the lounge, while Raphael dressed in the pink dress that had hung in Lily's closet They had an identical one Raphael used at home for tea parties, but they left it and a spare tea set at the farmhouse for when they visited. Lily squealed and said, “Sit down on the floor, Daddy, so I can put on your makeup.”

Raphael groaned, as she applied the lipstick and blush. He felt like it made him look like a clown. Lily giggled, handed him a mirror and said, "Look, Daddy.”  
Raphael looked at himself and groused, "I look stupid. Did ya really have ta draw hearts on my face?”  
“It makes you look prettier, Daddy. Like my dollies.”  
“Humph!”

Mikey appeared with a large teapot and placed it on the small plastic table in the center of the room. “Tea's here,” he said and stifled a laugh, as he looked at his brother. “Cute, Raphie. Pink is so you.  
“Fuck ya,” Raphael said and crossed his arms.

“Daddy said a bad word, Uncle Mikey!” Lily said.  
“He did and what punishment should your Daddy have?” Mikey asked, a twinkle in his eyes.  
“Daddy needs to drink the tea.”

“No,” Raphael said and gagged. “I hate tea.”  
“You have to, Daddy!” Lily said and poured tea into a small plastic cup.  
Raphael pulled another face and sipped it. “Gross. That’s disgustin’! What is it, Mikey?”

“Tea, bro,” Mikey said and laughed.  
“Tastes like piss!” Raphael snapped and pursed his lips.  
“You swore again, bro. Have to finish the pot now, right, Lily?”

“Uh huh!” Lily said. “Come on, Daddy." She poured some tea into another cup, sipped it and said, "Not so bad. Drink, Daddy. Then we can play with my dollies.”  
“I can’t wait,” Raphael mumbled.

Mikey hooted with laughter and couldn’t resist picking up a camera on the desk and snapping a photo of his brother. “Ya shit,” Raphael yelled, getting to his feet. “I’m gonna smack ya!”  
“Oops,” Mikey said and ran out of the bedroom. “Leo, help me! Raphie’s gone mad!”

“Daddy, we haven’t finished,” Lily complained and stuck out her lower lip.  
“I gotta hit yer Uncle Mikey!”  
“No. We aren’t done.”  
Not wanting to disappoint her, Raphael sat down and said, “He can wait, I guess. Pour the tea, Lily.”

Lily beamed and said, “Daddy, I love dress up with you. We’re going to play every day.”

Raphael looked at his daughter and his heart overflowed with love. Sometimes ya gotta do things ya don’t like, he thought. Even shit like this, but I don’t mind, as long as she’s happy. That’s all that matters ta me. She’s one of the best things I’ve ever done and as long as I breathe, I’ll do whatever I can ta make her happy. I just wish Leo was gonna be with me ta watch the kids grow up. It ain’t fuckin’ fair he’s gonna die. I need him and so do the kids. I don’t know how I’m gonna make it without him.

Raphael wiped a tear from his eyes and Lily said, “Why are you crying, Daddy?”  
“I ain't, baby. Pour more tea.”

His daughter chatted away and Raphael thought, I wish there was a miracle and Leo would recover. Please let there be one. I don’t wanna face life without him. Leo says there's a God. Please spare my Leo if ya can hear me, Lord. I'll be good and won't argue with no one again if ya spare him. Please. I need him and love him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww. I love writing turtletots and Raph is adorable with his babies.


	22. Don's huge faux pas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don causes friction between himself and Raph.

After dinner, Don during which Don stared at Raphael a lot, old feelings for him surprisingly resurfacing, he helped Raphael bath the kids. He smiled at how patient his hot tempered brother was with them, not raising his voice and laughing, as his kids splashed in the bath. Bath time was always fun, especially when there were bubbles. Lily giggled when one landed on her snout and Raphael grinned. He loved moments like these and he wished Leo was there with him instead of Don, but Leo had said he wanted to rest. 

XXXXX 

Raphael finished bathing the kids, checked on Leo and put his kids to bed. Then he and Don went outside and sat on the porch.

XXXXXX 

“Beautiful night, Raph,” Don said.  
“Yeah.”  
“You and Leo are so blessed to have the kids.”  
“We are.”  
“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if Leo hadn’t asked you out?”  
“My life woulda been a meaningless existence. Leo gave me love and purpose. Why do ya ask?”  
“So you wouldn’t have gone out with me?”  
“Shell no. I love ya, Donnie, but as a brother only and I ain't never felt differently. Ain't even been attracted ta ya.”  
“I’ve always been attracted to you, but I buried my feelings when you and Leo hooked up and got over it, because Leo made you happy. Then April happened and I was happy too.”  
“Why are ya askin’ such things? Ya tryin’ ta replace Leo?” Raphael demanded, his eyes flinty. “He was diagnosed only a few days ago and yer already tryin’ ta muscle in? How could ya? Leo’s dyin’ and ya just wanna move in on what’s his? Ya selfish bastard. I’m surprised ya ain’t givin’ him meds, so he can die faster.”  
“No, Raph. I shouldn’t have said…Look, forget I asked..”  
“I won’t forget and ya think I don’t notice the looks ya shoot me when ya think I’m not lookin’? I see them and it makes me sick ta my stomach that ya think ya can just walk in and replace Leo. Because ya can’t. No one fuckin’ can. I fuckin’ hate ya and I’ll never love ya. I’d rather have my right hand for life than ya.” With that parting shot, Raphael rose to his feet and stomped off into the house, slamming the back door behind him. 

Don sighed and pinched between his eyes. I sounded like a jerk, he thought, but I'm kind of seeing Raph in a new light again. I can’t stop myself. Shit. What a mess. I better apologize to him.

FLASHBACK FIVE YEARS EARLIER: JANUARY 9

Don and Raphael were working on Raphael’s bike in the garage and the hothead was whistling. Something the surly turtle rarely did, often choosing to work in silence. “You’re in a good mood, Raphie?” Don said, checking out Raphael’s butt. Raphael's thick tail was down and relaxed, as he crouched, examining the tires. Look at that tail, Don thought. It’s so beautiful. I’d love to run my fingers over it and so much more.  
“Yeah, Don. I am.”  
Hell. He’s so damn hot, Don thought, staring at Raphael’s muscular, toned body when he stood up, walked over to the table and began removing the grease from his hands with a towel. “Why are ya starin’, Don?” Raphael asked, sensing eyes on him and turning around.  
“Uh,” Don said and blushed. “I was just thinking…”  
“What, genius?”  
“How hot you look,” Don blurted out, certain his passionate brother was going to hit him for saying that.  
Instead, Raphael chuckled and said, “Ya feelin’ all right, Donnie?”  
“No. I….I mean it, Raph. You are. So very hot. I’ve wanted to tell you for ages, but I didn’t know how. I like you so much. More than a brother. I always have.”  
Raphael looked uncomfortable and he opened and closed his mouth twice. Then he said, "Donnie, I don’t wanna hurt ya, but I don’t feel the same way. Sorry.”  
“But you do. I’ve seen the looks you send my way.”  
“What? Ain’t ya I gawk at. I only love ya as a brother. That won’t change.”  
“But we’d be perfect together and have so much in common,” Don said and approached him. He pressed his lips against a shocked Raphael’s, who could only stand there in disbelief. 

Raphael composed himself, his face darkened and he swung a punch at Don, hitting him squarely on the jaw. “Don’t ya ever touch me again, Donnie,” he snarled.  
“I know you like me,” Don persisted, rubbing his smarting jaw.  
“In yer dreams. I like someone else.”  
“Who?”  
“None of yer fuckin’ business. I’m outta here. Stay the hell away from me.”

XXXXXXX 

Raphael had avoided Don for the next couple of days, choosing to spend his free time with Leo of all people to the genius's surprise. Weird, Don thought, as he watched Raphael watch Space Heroes with Leo. Raph and Leo are always at each other’s throats and now they’re getting along so well and watching the cartoon together. Raph hates that show. Could Leo be the someone he likes? No way. It can't be. They’d never work out. They're too alike.

Don nearly had a thrombosis when Leo and Raphael announced they were a couple. “You and Leo, Raph?” he’d said, when he’d cornered Raphael in the kitchen later that day.  
“Yeah,” Raphael said, narrowing his eyes. “Got a problem with it?”  
“You guys will never work out.”  
“And why’s that, brainiac,” Raphael asked. He crossed his arms and scowled.  
“You’re too alike and will kill one another.”  
“Yer just jealous,” Raphael snarled, baring his teeth. “Because I don’t want ya and I love him.”  
“It’s lust. Not love.”  
“Yer fuckin’ jealous. Me and Leo love one another and we’re gonna have a life together. Dad even believes we got a future together.”  
“He only said that because he doesn’t want to lose you guys. He knows I’d be better for you.”  
“Ya little punk. Fuck ya for sayin’ that. Fuck ya. Fuck ya. I’m goin’ out!”  
“With Leo?” Don asked jealously.  
“Yeah. I’m gonna fuck him so bad and then I’m gonna fuck him again,” Raphael yelled. Then he stalked out of the kitchen, grabbed Leo’s hand and led him out of the lair.

Leo and Raphael's romance blossomed over the next few months and Raphael and Don barely spoke to one another.

Leo and Raphael announced they were engaged a while later. And Don broke the silence, when he saw Raphael was alone in the lounge. “Raphie, I’m sorry and I’m happy for you," Don said. "You deserve happiness and if Leo makes you happy… I’m just glad you are.”  
“Thanks.”  
“I know you must hate me, but I truly am sorry and I hope you and Leo will always be happy.”  
“I don’t hate ya, but ya did hurt me, Donnie. I know I come across as an emotionless creep sometimes, but I got feelings too and I really do love Leo. It ain’t just lust and he loves me too. We got a lotta things in common and…I hope ya find love too. I know ya will. Yer so carin’ and anyone would be lucky ta have ya. Truce?”  
“Truce,” Don said and they shared an awkward hug. Then Don cleared his throat and said he had work to do.

BACK IN THE PRESENT: JUNE 6

Don went inside and found his emerald skinned brother attacking a punching bag in one of the spare rooms.“Thought I’d find you here, Raph,” he said.  
“Go away,” Raphael hissed.  
“No. I was wrong to say what I did and to kind of hit on you. It was inappropriate.”  
“Ya think?” Raphael said sarcastically, pounding the punching bag.  
“I’m sorry."  
“Go ta fuckin’ hell with yer sorries, Don. Stick them up yer ass. Yer still in love with me and ya ain’t gonna let that go. Yer always gonna mooch over me and hope I return the affection more than a brotherly one. Be honest. It's best me and my kids leave when Leo transcends. I don’t want another mate and certainly not ya.”  
“Where will you go?”  
“Wherever I want. I’ll be polite ta ya in fronta the others, but I don’t wanna be 'round ya, so do yerself a huge favor and stay the hell away from me. Ya revolt me that ya could be so blatant ‘bout replacin’ Leo when he ain’t even in the hole. Get out.”  
“Raph….”  
“I said out and don’t touch my kids neither. We don’t need yer help.”  
“Are you going to tell Leo?”  
“I tell him everythin’, so yeah. I’m sure he’ll be as disgusted as me.”  
“I doubt it. He wants us to get together,"  
“Well, fuck it. Ain’t gonna happen. Out!”

Don quietly left and thought, I’m such an ass. How can I get Raph to forgive me? And where will he go. He can’t make it on his own with six kids to look after.

XXXXXX 

Raphael finished attacking his bag a while later and went to his bedroom. Leo was lying awake and smiled when he saw him enter. “Hey, sweetheart,” he said,as Raphael leant down and kissed him. “Missed you, Raphie.”  
“Missed ya too,” Raphael said. He quickly undressed and climbed into bed.  
“Heard raised voices next door.”  
“Me and Don. He’s bein’ a dick and thinks he can replace ya when ya transcend. How can he think that, Leo?”  
“He’d be a good mate for you, Raphie.”  
“Talkin’ bout it when yer not even gone is callous.”  
“For five years he’s watched us love one another and have a family. That was hard for him. You can’t blame him for thinking he has a shot with you now that I’m dying.”  
“The only shot he’d have is if I fired a gun at him. I don’t love him, Leo. I never will and no one can make me. And don’t make me be with him as some dumb last request. I won’t do it.”  
“Okay. Don’t. Don’t be with him, but you’ll be lonely, Raph.”  
“The memories of ya will be enough, Leo. I don’t need no one else,” Raphael said and covered Leo’s mouth with his. “I love ya so much, Leo.”  
“Love you too, but go talk to Don and sort things out. Stop the fighting. I’ll wait here. You guys are still brothers and you’ll need his help when I pass.”  
“Fine,” Raphael mumbled. “But I’m only doin’ it for ya.”

Raphael dressed and went to the lounge.

XXXXX 

Raphael saw that Don was in the lounge. “Leo wants us ta make up, Donatello,” Raphael said. “I’ll accept yer dumb apology for Leo’s sake, because he wants and needs all of us here, but I'm still leavin' when he passes’.”  
“I won’t hit on you again, Raph. I’m sorry. I was insensitive, but if you need my help with the kids….”  
“I don’t and I won’t. Now, I’m goin’ ta bed with my Leo and I’m gonna love him. Night.”

XXXXXX 

Raphael returned to the bedroom and Leo said, “Did you make up with him, Raph?”  
“Yeah. Up for a round or too tired?”  
“I can manage a round.”

Things heated up and afterwards, Raphael looked at his sleeping mate and thought, Donnie as my mate? Really? He’s such a bore and don't even turn me on. No. I’ll never love no one else. Leo’s all I need and the memories of him and what we had will be enough when he dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Raph will change his mind when Leo dies.


	23. Heaven on earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kala and Mikey have some exciting news and there's some smut between Leo and Raph.

The next morning, June 7, Ali and Amy woke up at four a.m., screaming lustily. Raphael immediately sat up and said, “Leo, I got this,”  
“You sure?” Leo asked sleepily, opening his eyes and gazing at his mate.  
“I am and I’ll be right back,” Raphael said and kissed his beak. “Get some sleep.”

Raphael jumped out of bed and picked up his twin daughters in his strong, muscled arms. He placed them on the changing mats, expertly diapered them and planted little kisses on their faces. “I love ya so much,” he whispered. “Yer the sweetest little babies that ever lived, ain’t ya?”

“Gah!” Amy said, flailing her limbs.  
“Googoo,” Ali said, looking up at her daddy. 

Raphael smiled and nuzzled his beak to theirs and said, "Time for breakfast, my girls." 

XXXXX 

Raphael carried the twins into the kitchen and began to make the formula. Mikey was at the table attacking a large piece of chocolate cake. “Morning, bro,” he said. “You want some?”  
“No, thanks, Mikey,” Raphael said and placed the twins in their pram. Then he began to make the formula.  
"How are you doing, dude?”  
“How do ya think I’m doin’?” Raphael said sarcastically, whirling around and glaring at his brother. “My mate's dyin’, I got four kids, another two in the incubator and I’m tryin’ not ta crack. Not ta mention April, Casey and Dad are dead. I also got a brother, who hit on me now that Leo’s sick. I’m just fuckin’ peachy!”  
“I’m sorry, bro." Mikey got up and wrapped his arms around his brother. Raphael, who usually hated close physical contact, unless it was from Leo, didn’t pull away and rested his head on his brother’s shoulder, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I don’t know how I’m gonna cope without Leo, Mikey,” Raphael choked out.  
“Me, Don and Kala will help you and so will Chloe.”  
“Don thinks he’s got a shot with me and I ain’t interested in him, Mikey." Raphael pulled away and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.  
“Maybe you will in the future.”  
“No. I never will.”

Kala entered the kitchen and said, “Here you are, Mikey. I missed you when I saw you weren’t in bed. Hi, Raphael.”  
“Hi,” Raphael said, getting the now ready formula. He picked up his girls and cradled one in each arm. Then he began to feed them, watching lovingly, as they sucked on the bottles.

“Hey, baby,” Mikey said and kissed Kala on the lips.  
“I’m hungry,” Kala said. “Any cake left. I’m starving.”  
“You’re worse than me,” Mikey said and chuckled. “Always eating.”  
“Yes, but I have an excuse,” Kala said and patted her flat stomach. “I’m eating for two.”

“Yer pregnant, Kala?” Raphael said, taking his eyes off of his babies and gazing at the couple.  
“I am,” Kala said proudly. “Three months along."  
“Congrats. Ya and Mikey will be fantastic parents.”  
“We will be if we're one third as good as you and Leo. How are you doing, Raph?”  
“I’m…”

“Gaga goo!” Ali said. Raphael’s attention immediately shifted to his daughter.  
“That’s right, sweetheart,” Raphael said. “Drink yer milk, so ya can be strong and big like yer brother and sister.”

Raphael burped the twins when they'd finished feeding. Then he said, "Gonna get back ta Leo. Congrats again, guys.”  
“Hey, Raph,” Mikey said. “You know the farmhouse leads down to a private beach that belongs to the O’ Neil family?”  
“Yeah, so?”  
“Why don’t we all go there today and have some fun If Leo’s up for it?”  
“I can’t take the babies. They're too small.”  
“But the older ones can go and one of us can stay behind with the twins and the ones in the incubator. I don’t mind. I just thought it'd be fun for your family. The kids can build sandcastles and swim. They’ll have a blast.”

“I’ll stay behind, Raph,” Kala offered. “Gives me an opportunity to bond with my nieces.”  
“I’ll ask Leo. See ya guys later."

xxxxxx 

Raphael headed to his and Leo’s bedroom, placed the twins in their crib, kissed them and climbed into bed. Feeling a dip in the bed, Leo said sleepily, “You’re back, Raphie. Kids okay?”  
“They’re fine. Hey. Mikey and Kala are gonna be parents. She’s three months along.”  
“That’s cool. Our kids will have cousins. Dad would be proud.”  
“Yeah. Mikey thought it'd be great if we took the kids ta the O’Neil’s private beach today.”  
“In daylight?” Leo asked, opening his eyes and looking at his mate.  
“It’s a private beach and no one goes there. The kids could finally get ta experience a beach, Leo. We could picnic, swim and build sandcastles with the kids. Kala said she’d stay behind and watch the babies, so do ya wanna go? Unless yer feelin’ sick.”  
“I’m feeling all right. Why not then?”  
“Awesome. We’ll go after breakfast.”  
“About Fiji, Raphie, I don’t think we’ll be able to go back now that April’s dead.”  
“Ya don’t worry ‘bout that, babe,” Raphael said and kissed his cheek. “I’ll find a way ta make it happen. Ya know how obstinate I am.”  
Leo chuckled and said, “That I do. It’s one of the things I love about you.”  
“It used ta piss ya off.”  
“Sometimes, but I love everything about you, Raphie: the fire in those brilliant eyes of yours, your strong, muscular body, your firm butt, toned thighs and legs and don’t even get me started on your tail. It’s so cute and alluring!”  
“Stop!” Raphael said, ducking his head in embarrassment.  
Leo tilted his chin up and gently kissed him on the lips. “I admire your strength, your fierce loyalty to our family, you’re an amazing daddy and mate and I could go on forever telling you everything I love about you.”  
“Yer such a sap, Leo,” Raphael said and smiled shyly.  
“I know you get embarrassed when I tell you those things, but I'm going to do it for as long as I'm around. You’re sensational, Raphie, and I’m so happy you got with me.”  
“Me too. Yer the best thing ‘bout me, Leo, and no one could ever compare ta ya. Hey. Do ya feel like a round? Lily and Leo won’t be up for a while or do ya wanna go back ta sleep?”  
“I can handle a round,” Leo said and winked. “I can handle anything you dish out, hotheaded one.”  
Raphael grinned and said, “I’m gonna make ya feel good, Leo.”

The emerald skinned turtle licked his way down Leo’s plastron, making him groan in ecstasy. “Oh, Raphie,” Leo said. “Mark me and claim me. Make me yours, my strong alpha.”

Raphael nipped and sucked his collarbone and neck, leaving bruises he knew would last for a long time. There was nothing more that Raphael enjoyed besides making Leo happy, than marking him and letting people know that Leo was HIS and HIS alone.

Raphael turned his attention to Leo’s slit and licked and rubbed, watching gleefully, as the soft cartilage parted and Leo’s semi-erect forest green cock that was slick with precum, dropped down into his waiting hands. He slowly took Leo’s cock in and began sucking it, gazing at his lover, who’d closed his eyes in sheer bliss, his hands fisting the bedsheets, a deep churr rolling up his throat. Raphael smiled inwardly. He loved the sounds he was able to draw out of his mate, who was the pinnacle of self-control and the leader out of the bedroom. Raphael knew it was a different story in the bedroom. He was in charge. He loved that and thinking of new ways to please his mate and to bring him to his knees. He'd often consult the internet and run the ideas past his mate, who’d scoff at first, but when Raphael tested them out on him, Leo would change his tune and would praise his mate for thinking of such things.

Raphael bobbed his head and took Leo’s cock in further, deep throating him and sucking harder, while stroking Leo’s tail. “Ngh!” Leo announced a few minutes later. “I’m going to cum. Oh, Raphie! Raphie!”  
Leo came with a final loud churr, emptying his salty essence inside of Raphael. The emerald skinned turtle eagerly swallowed it and when Leo pulled out with a plop, Raphael licked his lips clean. Then he grinned and said, "I gotta clean ya, babe. Don’t wanna waste any.”

Raphael licked Leo’s cock clean, taking care not to spill a drop. Then he planted a kiss on his mate's lips and said, "How do ya feel, Leo?”  
“Incredible, Raphie. You always spoil me. Thank you.”  
“Like ya deserve. I love bein’ able ta make ya happy in all the ways ya deserve. It’s an honor bein' yer mate.”  
“You’re so wonderful,” Leo said, sitting up and cupping his face. “I love you so much.”  
“I love ya too, Leo.”  
“But it’s not fair that I’m taken care of. What about you? Let me do something for you.”  
“I won’t say no if yer not too tired.”  
“Never too tired for you.” 

Leo flipped his mate over and said, as he gazed into Raphael’s golden eyes. “I love you, Raph. I’m going to make you happy.”

Leo parted Raphael’s legs with his knees and tugged at his tail, eliciting a surprised squawk from the hothead, who was extremely sensitive there; the most sensitive of the four brothers. Then Leo placed Raphael’s tail in his mouth, sucking it and looking up at his mate.

Raphael emitted a loud churr and said, "Ya really know how ta turn me on, even after all of these years, Leo. Hell. That feels so good.”  
Leo kept sucking Raphael’s tail. Then he turned his attention to Raphael’s slit and said, “I know you want to drop down, Raphie. Me playing with your tail always has that affect. Drop down."

The emerald skinned turtle dropped down with a loud churr into Leo’s waiting hands. Leo grinned and slowly took Raphael’s cock into his mouth, gradually taking it in further, until he’d swallowed it up to the root.

Raphael closed his eyes and thought, I’m so lucky ta have this and the deep love we got.

Leo kept sucking, enjoying the moans Raphael made. Raphael’s blunt nails dug into Leo’s muscular arms, his eyes still closed. Then letting out a deep growl, Raphael climaxed and shot his essence down Leo’s throat. Raphael sighed contentedly, pulled out with a plop and said breathlessly, “That was mind blowin'. Thank ya, babe.”  
Leo licked his lips clean, bent down, licked his mate clean and pecked his lips. “It was my pleasure, Raphie. Nothing like a morning blowjob, is there?”  
Raphael laughed and said, “No and we’re gonna have tons more of these.”  
“I want to go again. Up for it?”  
“That’s the benefit of bein’ a mutant. We recuperate fast,” Raphael said and let out a throaty chuckle. “Ain’t nothin’ more I like, besides bein’ in ya or vice versa than blowin’ ya.”  
“You could almost write a poem using those lines.”  
“Nah. Let me try a limerick. There is a turtle named Leo, who looks fuckin’ hot in his speedo, but he looks even sexier when he’s sittin' on the massive rock that is his mate’s ten inch cock. How’s that?”  
“Awful,” Leo said and laughed.  
“Nah. Ya loved it! Admit it!”  
“It’s true. I love riding on your cock.”  
Raphael grinned and said, “Got somethin’ else. Ya give me heaven on earth, Leo, and our love will always go on.”  
“You’ve been watching Titanic again, haven’t you?” Leo teased.  
“I’m serious, Leo,” Raphael said and nuzzled his beak into Leo’s warm neck. “Yer my paradise, my shelter, my heart, my everythin’.”  
“You’re mine too, Raphie. I love you so much. Got any more limericks?”  
“Maybe later. Got somethin’ else I wanna do first,” Raphael said and winked.

Raphael thought, as he positioned himself between Leo's legs and started sucking his cock, yeah. What got is heaven on earth. Who'd have thought two mutant turtles could find love? I never did and bein’ with Leo's been the best five years of my life!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up will be the beach.


	24. Making memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey interrupts a steamy scene between his brothers and the family take the kids to the beach.

Leo and Raphael headed to the showers after their lovemaking, intent on having shower sex. Leo turned on the faucet and watched the water glisten on and bounce off his mate’s ripped body. Raph’s absolutely gorgeous, he thought. And I’m so blessed to have him.

“See somethin’ ya like, Fearless?” Raphael said and smirked.  
“Maybe. Can I wash you? You always do so much for me and I’d like to.”  
Raphael nodded and said, “I’d like that, Leo, but none of that shit girly stuff I got for Lily. I don’t wanna smell like strawberries or somethin’."

Leo chuckled and squeezed his and Raphael’s more masculine shower gel onto a loofah. Then he began to wash his mate, dragging the loofah over Raphael’s muscular arms, then down his plastron and his thighs. Raphael closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, enjoying the attention and trying not to drop down. It felt that amazing. Leo dragged the loofah down to Raphael’s tail, making the hothead whine at the sensation.

"That was low, Leo. Ya know I'm sensitive there," Raphael said, but without any venom.  
“Feel good?”

Turned on even more by the attention to his tail, Raphael let out a deep rumble. Then he leapt at his mate and pinned him to the wall. The loofah fell to the floor and Leo laughed.

"I guess you're done with cleaning, Raph," Leo said. His mate didn't answer and smashed his mouth onto Leo's, resulting in a fierce and intense kiss that left them panting for air.

“Want ya now, Leo,” Raphael said breathlessly, as the water continued to run. Leo groaned and shifted his body, so that he and Raphael’s lower plastrons ground against one another's, creating a wonderful friction, eliciting deep growls from them and making Leo drop down.

Raphael shifted Leo’s hips, parted his legs and thrust inside of him. “Gonna claim ya, Fearless."  
“Fuck me, Raph. Make me yours!”  
Raphael began to pound away and soon both of them were churring, lost in the throes of their passion. 

The bathroom door opened and they froze. Shit, Raphael thought. 'What if it’s the kids?' He quickly clapped a hand to his and Leo’s mouths.

“It’s all right, Leo and Raph,” Mikey said cheerily. “I just need a leak. Won’t be long!”  
Raphael removed his hand from his mouth and snapped, "How the fuck did ya know it was us?"  
“Can smell you,” Mikey said and began to pee.  
“There’s the fuckin’ outside toilet. Use that and fuck off.”  
“Clogged. I’m all done,” Mikey said and pulled the chain. “Breakfast will be ready soon. Later, guys, and remember to clean up. Cleanliness is important!”

"There go our plans as always, Leo!" Raphael said irritably.  
Leo removed Raphael's hand from his mouth and said, "We can play later, grumpypuss.”  
“We better. I wanna finish what we started!”  
“Turn around, so I can wash your shell. Then you wash me and we’d better go for breakfast.”  
“Whatever ya say, Fearless, but yer ass is mine when we're alone tonight,” Raphael growled. “MINE and there’d better be no damn interruptions.”

XXXX 

Leo and Raphael showered and dressed and headed to the kitchen.

XXXXX 

The others were already seated at the table and eating. Lily and Leo were eating pancakes and looked up when their daddies entered the room. “Morning, Daddy,” Lily said, looking at Raphael and Leo.  
“Mornin’, princess,” Raphael said. He bent down and kissed her cheek. “Hey, Leo,” he added, patting his son’s head. 

“Hi, Daddy,” Leo jr said.

Leo kissed his kids’ beaks and he and Raphael sat down. “Breakfast is served,” Don said, setting down a huge plate of pancakes. "Help yourselves. There will be more in a bit.”  
“Thanks," Leo and Raphael said in unison and dished up. 

They ate in silence for a while and Raphael drizzled syrup over his pancakes. Picturing the syrup smeared over his lover’s body, he couldn’t help grinning at the mental image. We gotta do that, he thought.

“What’s so funny, Daddy?” Leo jr asked.

“Nothin’,” Raphael said, sticking his fingers in the syrup. Then he locked eyes with Leo and suggestively licked his fingers. The forest green turtle smiled and slid his foot up Raphael’s calf under the table, making the hothead gasp and a tingle go down his spine. “I bet you like that, Raphie,” Leo husked.

The kids gazed at their parents in shock and Lily said, “What are you doing?”  
“Testin’ the syrup,” Raphael replied. “Tastes real good, don’t it, Leo? Would ya like some later?”

“Delicious,” Leo said. “I think we should get some more. I can think of some places…”  
“Does that mean you and Daddy are going to fuck?” Lily asked, looking at Raphael.  
“You said a bad word, Lily,” Leo admonished and frowned at his daughter.  
“But you and Daddy say it all the time. How you’re going to fuck.”

“Whoa. Why don’t you kids go watch some TV if you’re done,” Mikey said quickly.  
“Okay, Uncle Mikey,” Leo jr and Lily said. They got up and ran to the lounge.

Mikey turned to his brothers and said, “In front of the kids, seriously, bros? They’re too small for that kind of talk and language. What were you thinking? Don’t you know the kids will copy all you say?”  
“The kids know we love one another,” Raphael huffed.  
“But at breakfast and discussing fucking in front of them? Save that talk for your room! None of us want to hear it, especially the kids, Raph. They’re babies!"

Leo stood up and said, “We did get carried away a bit, but we’ll try to tone it down if it offends you so much!”  
“Thank you!” Mikey said.

Kala had wisely said nothing and had just eaten her breakfast.

Raphael sullenly finished his breakfast. Then he stomped off to the bedroom.

XXXXX 

Leo had followed his mate to their bedroom. "Are you mad at me, Raph?" Leo asked.  
“Yeah. Mikey had no right tellin' us how we should talk and ya agreed with him.”  
“No, but he’s sort of right. We should keep our dirty talk to ourselves. We don’t want the kids to continue swearing or to pick up our bad habits.”  
“Maybe yer right. I don’t want the kids ta swear and I’ll try not ta be so suggestive in public, but it’s so hard when yer sittin’ so close ta me and I get these mental images of things I wanna do ta ya, like the syrup. I’ll try ta behave, but I won’t insidea the bedroom.”  
Leo chuckled and said, “I don’t expect you to and you know I like it when you misbehave. Means I have to discipline you.”  
“Ooooh. Discipline me. I’ve been a bad boy, ain't I, Leo?” Raphael husked, pressing up against his mate. “Ya wanna spank Raph and teach him a lesson? Get out the whip. We ain’t used it in a while. I like when ya teach me a lesson, Leo. Make me yer sub bitch, ain’t that right?’

The door burst open and Lily ran inside shouting at the top of her lungs, “Uncle Mikey says we’re going to the beach.”  
Her parents pulled apart, shook their heads crossly and Raphael said irritably, his arms crossed, “How many times do we gotta tell ya ta knock, Lily?”  
“Uncle Mikey said the beach and I had to tell you, Daddy!” Lily said, gazing up at her dads with her wide sapphire eyes. Leo’s eyes.  
Unable to stay mad, Raphael said, "It’s all right, but remember ta knock next time.”  
“Okay, Daddy. Uncle Mikey found spades and buckets. Can we build sandcastles, like they do on TV?”

“Sure,” Leo said.  
“Cool. I can’t wait and can we swim?” Lily said.

“Yes, but only with an adult. Not by yerself,” Raphael said. "And ya stay close ta us at all times. No wanderin’ off.”  
“Okay, Daddy,” Lily said and scampered off to find her brother.

“Kids,” Raphael said with a smile. “Remember how we used ta get excited ‘bout everythin’, Leo? Every day felt like Christmas. We were learnin’ new things and life was fulla surprises.”  
“Every day is still like Christmas,” Leo said softly, staring intently at his mate. “Because I get to wake up to the most special present I could ever have wanted. You.”  
Raphael grinned and said, “Back at ya, lover boy." He leaned in for a kiss, only to be interrupted by a knock at the door. 

“Just me,” Don said. “Mikey says be ready in five and don’t forget the camera. He has his, but take yours too. I’ve packed sandwiches and juice.”  
"Thanks, Don,” Leo said good-naturedly. “We’ll meet you by the van. Where are the kids?”  
“With Mikey. He’s dressing the kids in shorts and T’s. They can swim in those and he’s packing a change of clothing. I’ve packed sunscreen just in case. See you in a bit.”

“Shorts and T, Leo?" Raphael said. "And we’d better take our weapons. May be a private beach, but ain’t takin’ no chances.”  
“Whatever you say, my leader,” Leo said with a smile.  
“No, Leo. I may have the title, but it’s only by default. Yer the leader,” Raphael said and cupped Leo’s face with his calloused hands. “Yer the one Dad entrusted with the title and we couldn’t have had a better one than ya. I was mad when Dad picked ya, but I wouldn’t have been a good one. Wasn’t ready and Dad knew it. Still don’t think I am, but I’ll do my best…”

“LEO! RAPH!” Don yelled from the lounge. “Everyone’s waiting.”

“We’ll continue this later, Fearless,” Raphael said and gently kissed Leoy on his lips. “We’d better pack.”

The lovers quickly donned their gear and weapons, dressed in shorts and T’s, packed a change of clothing, towels and the cameras and headed to the van. 

XXXXXX 

Raphael wore red shorts and a matching T and Leo was clad in blue. “About time,” Mikey said sarcastically.  
“That shirt’s hideous,” Raphael snickered, sitting down, Leo next to him. ”Where'd ya get that eyesore, Mikey? A yellow Hawaiian shirt with pink flowers is soooo nineteen eighties."  
"You’re just jealous,” Mikey huffed.  
“Sure I am. I really wanna look like a bozo,” Raphael said sardonically and rolled his eyes.

“Can you two stop bickering?” Don demanded from the front passenger seat. 

“Daddy, are you and Uncle Mikey fighting?” Leo jr asked from in front of Raphael.  
“No,” Raphael said. “We’re teasin’ one another, but he does look stupid, don’t he?”  
“I like pink,” Daddy."  
“No, ya don't. Yer a boy, Leo. Ya don’t like pink!” Raphael hissed. “Only girls do,” he added, pointing at his daughter, who was dressed in pink shorts and a matching T, as well as a pink sunhat. The little boy was decked out all in blue and had a blue cap.

"Sounds a bit sexist there, Raph," Don remarked. "Nothing wrong if a boy wears..."  
"Mind yer damn business, Donnie,” Raphael snarled. “He’s my boy and he won’t wear pink!”

“ENOUGH,” Leo said firmly, glaring at his brothers. “This is supposed to be a day of happiness for our family, especially the kids. Can you all just stop fighting?”  
‘Sorry, Leo,” Don said quickly. 

Raphael took Leo’s hand and whispered, “Sorry, Leo, but pink ain't a boy’s color.”  
“Let it go, Raph. Please. Life’s too short to worry about something so stupid. Let Leo wear pink if he wants. It's just a color and doesn’t mean anything.”

“Besides, oh manly one,” Mikey interjected. “It used to be a boy’s color and you look cute in your princess dress. Pink is sooooo you!”  
Raphael tensed, his eyes flinty. Then he clenched his fists and jumped up, ready to pound his brother for attacking his masculinity. “Raphael, sit down!” Leo begged. “Please.”

“Fine,” Raphael said, taking his seat. “But I hope ya get ten girls, Mikey, so all ya ever see is pink!”  
“I’m fine with the color, Raph…”

“I want to go now. Please stop fighting,” Lily said, banging her spade in the bucket she held on her lap.  
“You heard the lass,” Don said. “Floor it.”

“One question,” Leo said. “Why are we taking the van down to the beach? It’s like at the end of the garden.”  
“Because,” Don said. “It might be too hot and we could cool off in the van with the air con. Let’s go.”

XXXX 

The family arrived at the beach five minutes later and spread out their towels. Leo jr and Lily immediately sat down and begun to dig. Don went for a swim, while Mikey sat down and watched his family.

Raphael fussed and insisted on putting sunscreen on his babies. “Daddy, we won’t burn,” Leo jr huffed. “We’re mutant turtles.”  
“Leo, stop arguin’ and do as yer told,” Raphael said furiously, dabbing sunscreen on the toddler’s body. Then he did the same to Lily. 

That done, Raphael sat down beside Leo, who’d been gazing at the ocean, and said, “Ya okay, Leo? Ya’ve been quiet since we got here.”  
“I’m fine,” Leo said, dragging his eyes away from the ocean and looking at his mate. “Just thinking. It’s so beautiful here and calm,” Leo added, digging his toes in the sand. “We haven’t had beach sex. I’d like to.”  
Raphael chuckled and said, “Yer feelin’ horny?”  
“I am.”  
“We can’t do nothin' now.”  
“I know, but we could come back later.”  
“We will,” Raphael promised and kissed his beak. 

“Hey,” Mikey called. “Keep it in the bedroom. Got kids here,”  
“Screw ya, Mikey,” Raphael shouted and kissed Leo again.

“Help us with the sandcastles, Daddy?” Lily said. “Me and Leo want to make a huge one.”  
The parents got up and helped their children, enjoying their squeals of happiness, as they played. 

“Can we bury you, Daddy?” Leo jr asked, an hour later, looking at Raphael.   
The emerald skinned turtle, who’d nearly died after being trapped underground in a coffin by Bishop, shook his head. “No.”

“Why not, Daddy?” Lily asked.  
“I don’t wanna," Raphael said. “Ask Uncle Mikey or Uncle Don.”

“Please,” Leo jr said.  
“NO,” Raphael said, feeling a flashback of that horrific time, come on. He pinched between his eyes and sucked in a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

“Raph, you okay?” Leo asked.  
“I’m gonna take a walk, Leo.Just need some fresh air,” Raphael said, as the mental images of him underground and struggling to breathe hit him like a freight train. He clenched his fists and tried counting to calm himself down, but the images felt real and he started to hyperventilate.  
“RAPH!” Leo said and got up and raced to Raphael's side. "It’s okay. I’m here. Mikey, water, please.”

“What’s wrong with Daddy?” Lily asked, as Raphael started screaming.

Mikey ran over with a bottle of cold water, uncapped it and handed it to Leo, who said, “Thanks. Drink, Raph,” Leo said and pressed the bottle to his mate's lips. “You’re safe. With us. No one’s going to come near you. Mikey, take the kids away, please. Now. I don’t want them to see him like this.”  
“What’s wrong with Daddy?” Lily asked tearfully. “Why's he screaming?”

“NOW, MIKEY!” Leo said.

Mikey picked up his niece, who struggled in his grasp, and said, “I want Daddy.”  
“Go, Leo,” Leo ordered his son.

“Is Daddy okay?” Leo jr asked anxiously, watching a calmer Raphael, who was drinking the water.  
“He’s going to be all right,” Leo said. “Go with Uncle Mikey. We’ll call you just now.”

The little boy went with his uncle, but cast an anxious look back at his parents.

“You okay, Raph?” Leo asked.  
“Yeah. Just when they wanted ta bury me, it reminded me of that time underground and the images of it hit me and I couldn’t stop panickin’. I’ve ruined today. I’m sorry, Leo.”  
“It’s okay,” Leo soothed, wrapping his arms around his mate. “You’re safe. And Bishop's locked up in prison, remember? Solitary confinement. No way he’s getting out, unless it’s in a box.”  
"How are the kids?"  
“They’re fine. Mikey’s taken them for a walk. Probably showing them starfish or something. Do you want to go back to the farmhouse?”  
“No. The kids are havin’ fun. Just hold me, Leo. I need ta feel ya.”  
“I’m here, takara, and I’m not going anywhere.”

XXXX 

An hour later, Raphael had relaxed more and he and Leo were talking, when Mikey appeared with the kids and Don, who’d joined them. Lily was holding a starfish and said, “Look here, Daddy.”  
“Nice,” Leo said. “But it should stay in the rock pool, sweetheart, otherwise it’s going to die.”

“I found a hermit crab,” Leo jr said, waving it in Raphael's face.  
“Cool,” Raphael said. “But it needs ta go back in the ocean too, buddy. Put it back and then come and have a snack. There’s fruit here. Ya want some?”

The kids nodded, went with Don and put the creatures in the ocean. Then they sat down next to their parents and munched on apples and juice.

Daddy, are you okay?" Leo jr asked."I was worried.”  
“I’m fine, buddy,” Raphael said and patted his head. “Daddy was feelin’ funny, but he’s okay now.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah, Leo. Everythin’ is fine. I promise. How 'bout we go swimmin’ just now?”  
“Oh, boy. Can we?” Leo jr said excitedly, his face lighting up.  
“Absolutely and yer Daddy will come too.”

XXXX 

The whole family went swimming twenty minutes later. Leo held Lily, while Raphael held Leo jr. The parents smiled, as their kids laughed and kicked out in the water, enjoying the surf. “This is fun, Daddy,” Leo jr said, as a wave broke over them. “Can we come back again later?”  
“Ya bet,” Raphael said. “And we’re gonna take ya and yer sister fishin’.”  
“Yay! I want to catch the biggest fish!”

XXXX 

The family enjoyed the sandwiches Don had prepared after the swim. Then the kids buried Mikey, who was having a blast with them. He adored them and they felt the same way. They also loved Don, but Mikey was their favorite uncle and the one they always went to when they wanted to play. He’d keep them entertained for hours, having such an amazing imagination.

Raphael and Leo took countless photos of their kids on the beach. Building sandcastles, playing in the rock pool with their uncles and running up and down the beach, but Raphael's favorite was the one of them sitting all together on the beach. Mikey had taken it and Raphael would frame it and keep it on his bedside table.

The family had another swim and Don snapped photos of the kids frolicking with their parents in the water.

The family went home at three p.m., tired and happy that the day had been a success. 

XXXXX 

Leo crawled into bed beside Raphael for a nap and thought, today was wonderful and I can’t wait for tonight. Raph and I are going to make the most of being alone and I’m going to fuck him good. Leo chuckled softly at the thought.

Raphael opened his eyes and said, "What’s amusin’, Fearless?”  
"Just the thought of you lying underneath me with my cock rammed up your ass. No one would have guessed you like being submissive.”  
“Only with ya, Leo. And ya may tap my ass, but ya know I’m gonna do the same.”  
“I look forward to it.”  
“Hey, Leo?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yer not just my lover, my mate and my best friend. Yer my hero.”  
“You’re mine too, Raphie. Aishiteru,” Leo said and kissed his mate on his lips.  
“Aishiteru, Leo,” Raphael said, wrapping his arms around Leo protectively.

I’m going to miss Raph so, so much, Leo thought, trying not to cry, as he closed his eyes. And it tears me up that I won’t see the kids grow up. I know Raph will do an amazing job raising them. He already does, but I just wish I could be with them too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your kudos and reviews. You guys motivate me to keep going :)


	25. Under the mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to Christmas when Leo was 10, Raph 9, Donnie 8 and Mikey 7. Raph and Leo walk under the mistletoe and Raph kisses Leo on the cheek for tradition, something neither like. I suppose that was technically their first kiss.
> 
> Just a fluffy chapter with family moments :)

FLASHBACK: 10 YEARS EARLIER

Leo’s 10

Raph’s 9

Donnie’s 8

Mikey’s 7

It was Christmas Eve. Christmas carols were playing on the radio and the four brothers were decorating the lair with tinsel and fairy lights that Splinter had managed to obtain, making the lair look very festive. Don hung up mistletoe.<.p>

Raphael wrinkled his beak in disgust at the mistletoe and said, "I ain’t gonna kiss no one. Kissin’ is for sissies. What do ya think, Leo?”  
“I don’t know. It’s traditional that you kiss when you stand under the mistletoe. I like traditions.”  
“Crappy tradition. I ain’t gonna do it.”

“What if you met a hot mutant girl, Raph?” Mikey asked.  
“Ain’t any and girls are gross. Besides, I don’t need a girl. I got my best friend and that’s all I need,” Raphael said, looking at Leo. They were inseparable. “And we’re gonna be best mates forever.”

Splinter smiled and said, “You'll feel differently someday, Raphael, and you will want a mate. Not just a friend. I hope whoever you find makes you happy. I wish that for all of you.”

Raphael shook his head and scoffed, “Nah. Girls are too demandin' and borin’ and me and Leo decided we don’t want no one, right, Leo?”  
“Right,” Leo said, hanging more tinsel.

“What about you, Sensei?” Don asked.

“I am too old, my sons, and all I care about is you. The lair is looking very festive. Great job, my sons. It's time for the tree. Please remember the tree will be decked in red and blue this year, so don’t pout, Michelangelo. You and Donatello will decorate the tree in your colors next year."

The brothers quickly decorated the tree Splinter had found with red and blue tinsel and strung fairy lights across it. Don switched the lights on and the brothers admired their handiwork.

“Awesome,” Raphael said. “It’s even prettier than last year, but we ain’t done. There’s still the silver star." He picked it up and said, "My turn ta put it on the top.”  
“It’s my turn,” Leo said quickly. “You did it last year, Raphie.”  
“Did not!” Raphael snapped and stomped his foot on the ground. “Donnie did. It’s my turn!”  
“I’m the oldest, so I should!"  
“So fuckin’…” Raphael began

“Raphael!” Splinter said sternly, banging his cane on the ground. “There will be no swearing, young man. And you are right. Donatello did have a turn last year, so it is Leonardo’s turn.”  
“He’s yer favorite. 'Course yer gonna say it’s his turn,” Raphael said angrily. He stuck his lower lip out and stamped his feet again. “Ain’t fair. I’m just the black sheep and I’m done with this stupid tree." He kicked the tree, causing it to topple over.  
“Raphael!” Splinter said furiously. “Go to your bedroom this instant. I will not tolerate such insolent behavior.”

“No,” Leo said quickly, looking at his pouting brother. He’d never been able to deny Raphael anything when he looked that way and he couldn’t now. “Let Raphie have my turn and don’t punish him, Sensei. It’s Christmas and I know he’s sorry. Please, Sensei," Leo said, widening his sapphire eyes and turning on a puppy dog expression that always worked on his dad.

Splinter looked at his second eldest son and said, “Raphael, help us pick up the tree and place the star on the top and behave or Santa won’t come. I will tell him not to deliver your presents.”  
“Yes, Sensei,” Raphael said, shooting a grateful glance at Leo. Then he hung his head and said sheepishly, “I’m sorry for my behavior.”

Raphael and the others picked up the tree and set it up right. Then Raphael climbed onto a chair, placed the star on top and smiled triumphantly. “All done.” He climbed down and said, “Thanks, Leo.”  
“What are best friends for?” Fantastic job, little brother,” Leo said and patted Raphael's shoulder, making him beam.

“Bed time,” Splinter said, looking at the clock on the wall.

“Sensei, please can we stay up. Just one more hour?” Mikey begged.  
“No, Michelangelo, otherwise Santa won’t come. It’s ten and you boys should have been in bed two hours ago. Off to bed. What is it, Raphael?” Splinter asked, as Raphael tugged on his arm.

“Can Leo and I sleep together tonight, Sensei?” Raphael asked.  
"As long as you actually do sleep, Raphael, and don’t stay up all night talking.”

“You sleep with Leo most nights, Raphie,” Mikey said. “Is Leo your boyfriend?”  
“Shut up!” Raphael snarled, his golden eyes stony. “I ain’t gay...”

“My son, do you know what gay is?” Splinter asked.  
Raphael nodded and said, “It’s when two boys like one another and me and Leo don’t. We’re best buds, Mikey.”

“You do like one another,” Don said.  
“Yeah,” Raphael said. “But NOT LIKE LIKE, Donnie!”

“Raphael,” Splinter said, changing the subject. “Make sure you put milk and cookies on the table. Don’t forget. Santa will be very hungry after his long trip.”

“It’s my turn to do that,” Mikey whined.

“Nope. It’s Raph’s,” Don said. “Can we have a couple biscuits, Sensei? We’ll share. Please.”  
“All right,” the old rat said. “Wait here.”

Splinter returned and said, “I’m afraid there are only two chocolate cookies left on the plate I kept for you boys and Santa’s plate is untouched. Anyone know what happened to them? Michelangelo?”  
“Not me, Sensei,” Mikey piped up and Donnie wouldn’t either.  
“Hmm.”

Raphael shuffled his feet nervously and looked at the floor. “Raphael?” Splinter said. “Do you know what happened to the cookies?”

“I ate them, Sensei," Leo said. "I woke up, ate them all and then my stomach was sore. I’m so sorry.”  
“That is wrong, Leonardo,” Splinter said crossly. “Now your brothers can’t have any, but are you sure it wasn’t Raphael?”  
“Positive, Sensei.”

“We can make more, Sensei,” Mikey said. “Please don’t be mad at Leo. He was just hungry.”

“I will not this time, Leonardo,” Splinter said. “Your bellyache was sufficient punishment. Go to bed, my sons." He reached out his arms and hugged his sons. Then he said, "Sleep well. I love you.”

“Love you, Sensei,” the brothers said in unison.

Leo and Raphael forgot about the mistletoe as they left the room. Don grabbed Raphael's arm and said, "Wait, Raph?"  
“What, genius?” Raphael demanded.  
“You have to kiss Leo.”  
“Why?”  
“You walked underneath the mistletoe!”

“Kiss, kiss, kiss,” Mikey chanted, earning scowls from his two oldest brothers.

“Do I gotta?” Raphael asked.

“It’s tradition,” Splinter said. “And kissing a guy isn’t being gay, Raphael. You can kiss on the cheek. Siblings do it.”  
“Well, it’ll hardly be on the lips,” Raphael retorted. “Come on, Leo. Let’s get this over with.”

“Ugh!” Leo said in revulsion and wrinkled his beak. “Make it quick.”

Raphael pressed his lips together and closed his eyes, like he’d seen on TV. Then he forward and pecked Leo on the cheek. “Done,” he said and grabbed Leo by the hand and dragged him off to bed.

Splinter watched his sons leave the room and thought, Raphael and Leonardo are always affectionate with one another and I have a feeling that someday that affection will turn beyond a brotherly relationship. It’s only natural they would seek someone of their own kind out for a mate and given that there are no other mutant turtles, they will turn to one another. I have no problem with them becoming a couple, because they are well-suited. I just hope it doesn’t impact negatively on the team.

XXXX 

The two oldest were talking in bed in Leo's room. "Donnie needs ta take that shit mistletoe down, Leo,” Raphael said.  
“Didn’t like kissing me, huh?” Leo teased.  
“Very funny. Did ya like it?”  
“Um, no. ‘Course not.”  
“Liar. Ya liked it, didn’t ya?” Raphael said and smirked.  
“You’re my brother and I liked it, because of it, but that’s all.”  
“Yeah. Same here, but don’t think I’ll kiss ya again.”  
“I hope not. Your breath stinks.”  
"It don't," Raphael huffed.  
"Just teasing you, little brother. You smell like lavender and girly shit.”  
"I don't and ya cussed. Yer halo’s gonna slip off.”  
“You’re a bad influence and no. You smell like a boy. All macho.”  
“Yeah,” Raphael said, flexing his biceps. “I’m gonna be big and strong someday and we’re gonna fight crime together always. What would ya do if ya met a girl?”  
“Tell her to get lost. I don’t need her. All I want is you, my best friend.”  
Raphael grinned and kissed Leo on the cheek. “I know I said I wouldn’t kiss ya again,” Raphael said, as he looked at a shocked Leo, whose jaw had dropped. “But that’s for stickin’ up for me earlier. Ya coulda told Sensei I ate the cookies.”  
“No. That'd be tattling, Raphie, and you remember I caught you and joined in. We fought over the last choc biscuit and then shared it. I’d get into just as much trouble, but that’s not the only reason why I lied.”  
“Then why?” Raphael asked, raising an eye ridge.  
“I wanted to protect you, because it’s my job to and because I love you. Makes me sad when you get into trouble. You’re my baby brother and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”  
"Even lyin'?"  
"Yeah."  
"And for Donnie and Mikey too?”  
“Yes, but you’re my favorite brother.”  
Raphael beamed and planted a kiss on Leo’s cheek again. “That’s ‘cause I wanted ta say I feel the same way Leo, and I’d die for ya. Yer my hero.”

“Raphael and Leonardo,” Splinter said. He'd seen the tender kiss. “Go to sleep, my sons. It is very late.”

“Hai, Sensei!” Leo and Raphael said in unison and pulled the covers over their heads. They often slept that way. Leo fumbled for Raphael's hand, like he did every evening they were together, and whispered, “Night, Raphie. Merry Christmas.”  
“Merry Christmas, Leo,” Raphael said, not pulling away. He usually shied away from contact from others, but not from Leo, whom he adored and practically worshipped. Raphael knew that wouldn't change.

Splinter closed the door and thought, as he headed to his room, they will ask me to bless their union in the not too distant future. I will give it on condition it doesn’t affect the team in a negative way. After all, love is rare to find and I will be most happy if they find it. Everyone deserves to be loved, even mutants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be doing more flashbacks from time to time.


	26. The blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to when Leo and Raph asked for Splinter's blessing.

FLASHBACK: FIVE YEARS EARLIER: JANUARY 10

The turtles were sparring in the dojo when they heard a familiar voice. “Is anyone home?” Karai called from the lounge. “I’m home from Japan.”

Splinter said, “That is enough practice for now, my sons. Let us go welcome Karai home.”

“Hai, Sensei!” the turtles said and followed their father into the lounge.

XXXXX 

“Greetings, Father,” Karai said. “Hi, guys. Miss me?” she added, her eyes roving over Leo’s muscular body approvingly.  
“Hello, my daughter,” Splinter said and folded her into a hug. “It is good to see you again.”  
“Likewise, Father.”

“Hi, Karai,” Don said warmly.

“Yo, sister,” Mikey said. “Welcome home.”

“Hello,” Raphael said, standing closer to Leo and glaring daggers at Karai, mentally telling her to back off. Karai disengaged herself from Splinter and evenly met Raphael’s amber gaze, not backing down.

“Had a good trip, Karai?” Leo asked, sensing the tension between his mate and Karai.  
“Yes, thanks, but I have missed you,” Karai said, staring intently at Leo. He blushed and ducked his head, while Raphael continued to glower. “You would love it, Leonardo. I wish you’d gone with me.”  
“Maybe someday,” Leo muttered.

“Raphael, you do not seem pleased to see your sister,” Splinter said. “May I ask why?”

A female voice could be heard from the entrance of the lair.

“Guys, I’m here,” Mona Lisa declared, setting down her bags. Then she ran to Raphael, wrapped her arms and tail around him and smashed her lips onto his in a passionate French kiss.  
Raphael pulled away and said crossly, “Mona, please.”

Leo had jealously watched them kiss and now he stood, arms crossed, his sapphire eyes stony, and said, “What’s going on, Raphael?”

“Yes, my son,” Splinter said. “Do tell us.”

“Raphie invited me to come stay with you,” Mona explained. “Didn’t you, Raphie?”  
“That was before me and Leo..." Raphael rubbed the back of his neck nervously and shuffled his feet.

“Go on, my son,” Splinter said.

“What he’s trying to say,” Leo said. “Is that while you and Karai are very beautiful, Mona, we’re not interested.”  
“Raphie, you’re asexual?” Mona asked.

“I think what they’re trying to say,” Karai said and curled her lip in disgust. “Is that they like one another and are a couple. Is that right, my brothers?”  
“Yeah,” Raphael said, grabbing Leo’s hand and looking at Splinter, trying to gauge his view on the matter, but the aged rat’s face was neutral. “We’ve always been close, but we’ve realized our feelings are more than brotherly. We’re in love. I know we were raised as brothers, Sensei, but there ain't no proof we’re related and…”

“Is this true, Leonardo?” Splinter asked, cutting Raphael off.  
“Yes, Sensei, and we…We want to be together as mates.”

“What about me, Raphie?” Mona asked, blinking back tears. “Did you ever like me?”  
“Mona, there was **NEVER** an us."  
"Bullshit, Raphael. You told me you liked me.”  
“I thought I did at the time, Mona, but since then I’ve realized that I like ya just as a friend. Leo’s the one I’ve always loved. I’m sorry I hurt ya.”  
“You did, Raphael,” Mona said. She covered her face and started to sob.

“What about me, Leo?” Karai demanded. “We’ve always had chemistry.”  
“Yes, but that’s all we have. Raph and I have tons in common and we’re good for one another.”  
“He’ll disappoint you, Leo! I never would.”

“I never saw this coming,” Mikey said. “Did you, Donnie?”  
“I did,” Don said despondently, as his heart sank. He’d always had a thing for Raphael and hearing he was with Leo broke his heart.

“So, Sensei?” Leo asked, his heart hammering, and looking at Splinter, who’d remained silent, his face still impassive. “What do you think?”  
“To the dojo, Raphael and Leonardo,” Splinter ordered, tapping his cane on the ground. “The rest of you can go start dinner. Mona Lisa, you are still welcome to stay here.”

Raphael gulped and clutched Leo’s hand tightly. Leo looked at him and mouthed, “It’s going to be okay, Raphie. I won’t be separated from you.” Then they went into the dojo.

XXXX 

Raphael and Leo knelt before Splinter, their eyes closed and their hearts pounding, as they waited for Splinter to speak. The aged rat studied his sons and stroked his whiskers thoughtfully. That they were a couple did not surprise him, because he'd long anticipated that it'd happen. Raphael and Leonardo had always been close.

“Open your eyes, my sons,” Splinter said.

Raphael and Leonardo opened their eyes and Raphael glanced at Leo, who said, “Dad, may I speak?”  
“Only when I have finished what I wish to say.”

Shit, Raphael thought. He’s gonna send one of us away. “Sensei?”  
“Raphael!” Splinter said sternly. “I said let me speak. You will have your turn. How long have you been together, Leonardo?”

“Two days," Leo said.

“Have you been intimate, Raphael?”  
“Just kissin’. We wanna wait until we’re both ready,” Raphael said, his cheeks reddening. “And we were gonna ask for yer blessin’, but it’s been a crazy couple of days and we wanted ta see…”  
“So my blessing is important?”

“Yes, Sensei,” Leo said. “But I'd still be with Raph if you said no. I love him too much to be separated from him. It'd kill me to leave the lair, but I would if I had to.”

“I see,” Splinter said, stroking his whiskers. “Raphael, would you do the same thing?”  
“In a nanosecond,” Raphael said, looking at Leo tenderly. “With no regrets. Me and Leo belong together, like pizza and cheese.”  
“I agree,” Splinter said with a warm smile, making his sons gasp in surprise.  
“Really, Sensei?” Raphael asked.  
“Yes, my son. You and Leonardo have always had an extremely close bond and are two sides of the same coin. You have so much in common and I believe you will balance one another out.”

“You’re giving us your blessing, Sensei?” Leo asked in amazement. “I thought you’d be against it.”  
“Leonardo, love is rare to find and even mutants deserve love. It is normal that being two of the only four of your kind, you would seek one another out for a mate. I will allow your union on condition it’s not detrimental to the team and you will not favor Raphael over your other brothers in combat.”

“I wouldn’t let him, Sensei,” Raphael said, his heart leaping in joy. His face broke out into a large grin and he said, “Ya hear that, Leo? He said yes!” Raphael couldn’t resist pumping his fists in the air in jubiliation and letting out a whoop of happiness.

“You sure?” Leo asked. “You don’t mind, Sensei?”  
“No, my sons. Stand up.” Raphael and Leonardo stood up, facing one another. Splinter placed a paw on their shoulders and said, “I bless your union, my sons. May you have a long and happy one and many children.”

“Kids?” Raphael said and gulped nervously. “We ain’t thinkin’ 'bout kids now, Sensei. Not for a long time. We just wanna date and enjoy each other.”  
Splinter smiled knowingly, feeling there'd be babies within the next year. He smiled and said, “I know that, Raphael, but given that you can have babies, there will be. I look forward to being a grandpa someday. Go, my sons. I am sure the others have prepared dinner.”

Raphael and Leo left the room, holding hands, and went into the lounge.

XXXXX 

“He said yes?” Mikey asked, looking at the happy couple. “Aw. I’m so happy for you! Group hug!” Mikey said, throwing his arms around his brothers.

Raphael disengaged himself and said, “Where are the others, Mikey?”  
Mikey pulled away from Leo and said, “Karai said she had things to do and Mona left, but she left a note for you, Raphie. Here it is.” He handed Raphael a piece of paper.

Raphael read, “Dear Raphael, while your relationship with Leo's come as a huge shock, I don’t bear you any animosity. You deserve love and to have someone, who makes you happy. That’s all I ever wanted. I’m sorry it won’t be with me and I’ll miss you so much, but I won’t cause any trouble and I hope things work out with you and Leo. And that you guys have a bunch of babies. Donnie told me you could carry babies. Don’t be mad. He thought we were together and that I needed to know that. My fault. I said we were together. Anyway, be safe, Raphael. Love always, Mona xxx.”

“Babies?” Mikey said, his face lighting up. “Raphie, you can carry babies?”  
“Yeah. So?” Raphael demanded.  
“I’m gonna be an uncle! Oh, I can’t wait!” Mikey exclaimed. “I’m gonna be the best uncle!”

“Whoa. Wait, Mikey. We only just started dating,” Leo said.

Don entered the lounge and said, "Yes, Mikey. They only just started dating. Things may not work out, so don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

“Why wouldn’t things work out, Don?” Raphael asked, narrowing his eyes.  
"You may have a huge fight and break up.”  
“Hah,” Raphael scoffed. “Not gonna happen. Me and Leo are gonna make things work, Donnie, and people gotta accept that.”

Splinter came out of the dojo and said, “While I was meditating after giving Raphael and Leonardo my blessing, it occurred to me that we have not been away in a long time. Donatello, why don’t you call Miss O’ Neil and ask her if we could go to the farmhouse for a few days.”  
“Yes, Sensei,” Don said, avoiding looking at Raphael. “I’ll call her after supper.”  
“Where is Karai?”

“Left and so did Mona,” Raphael said. “She left me a sweet note wishin’ me well with Leo.”

“Come on. Let’s have dinner,” Mikey said. “I made beef stir fry and I’m going to make cake. We need to celebrate Raph and Leo’s union. And you know what? The next time we celebrate will be their bonding ceremony and after that babies. Raphie’s going to carry lots of them.”

“Enough ‘bout babies, Mikey!” Raphael growled, advancing on his brother.

Mikey ran into the kitchen, screaming, “Help me, Leo!” Raphael raced after him and the rest of the family laughed. It was just another normal day in the Hamato household.

XXXX 

Mikey couldn’t help talking about babies again over dinner, earning a scowl from Raphael. Don picked at his food, hoping no one would notice he was miserable. The only one who did was Leo, who said, “Donnie, you okay?”  
“I’m fine, Leo.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yes.”  
“Okay,” Leo said and looked at his mate sitting next to him. Raphael had managed to change the subject about babies to comics and he and Mikey were having an animated discussion.

Don called April after dinner and he then went into the lab. Splinter went to his room and Mikey said he wanted to go play video games in his room.

XXXX 

Left alone in the lounge, Raphael and Leo plopped down onto the sofa. Raphael scowled when he turned the TV on and saw it was a documentary about turtles on the beaches of Turkey. Hundreds of little hatchlings were making their way to the ocean. “Ugh, Leo. Babies again!” he said disgustedly. “First Mikey and now this blasted channel!”  
“You don’t want babies, Raphie?”  
“I do, but I don’t wanna hear ‘bout them every five seconds. Do ya want babies?”  
“Yeah, but not for the next few years. Is that selfish? I just want you. Maybe when we’re in our twenties.”  
“Fine by me and only two.”  
"Deal,” Leo said and kissed his lips. Raphael kissed him back and they made out passionately for a few minutes before coming up for air. Leo changed the channel, covered them with a blanket and snuggled close, they watched an action movie.

This has been the most amazin’ day, Raphael thought, stealing a glance at his mate. Me and Leo got Sensei’s blessin’ and I know we’re gonna have an incredible life together. I just hope Karai ain’t plannin’ on causin’ trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Karai cause trouble?


	27. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Raph get intimate on the beach. Uke Raph ;) And also fluff between Leo and Raph.

PRESENT DAY: JUNE 7

Leo woke up later that afternoon and looked at his sleeping mate, who had a smile on his face. He looks like an angel, Leo thought. I am so blessed to have him.

Sensing him staring, Raphael opened his eyes and said, "See somethin' ya like?"  
"Yes, you," Leo said and kissed him on the lips. "You're so perfect, Raph." His mate blushed and Leo grinned. "I love seeing you all flushed, especially beneath me. You look so beautiful."  
"I ain't beautiful," Raphael said, reddening.  
"You are. How'd I get so lucky to have you?"  
"I'm the lucky one, Leo," Raphael said and scooted closer and took Leo's hands in hiss. He pressed kisses to Leo's knuckles and said, "It's been five amazin' years. The best years of my life. Ya've given me a reason for livin', gorgeous kids and I couldn't be more thankful. I probably don't tell ya enough, but I love ya so, so much." He leant in for a kiss and groaned when there was a knock at the door. "As usual, we get interrupted. Who's there?"

"It's me, lovebirds," Mikey said. "I'm cooking dinner. It'll be ready in twenty minutes. It'd be nice if you could join us."

"Ya hungry, Leo?" Raphael asked. "Ya feelin' okay?"

"Yes. That sounds nice, Mikey. Thank you."

"So," Raphael said, "We got twenty minutes ta do whatever we want. And I got somethin' fun we can do." He lazily trailed a hand down Leo's plastron, settled it on his tail and said huskily, "It's called hole in one. Wanna play?"  
"There's something I want to talk about, Raph," Leo said, ignoring the shivers Raphael's touch sent down his spine.  
"So, no playin'?" Raphael asked disappointedly and pouted.  
"Not now. This is important. I want to spend my remaining days at the lair. The farmhouse is great, but it's not home. I know the sewers are damp, musty and smelly, but it's our home. We were raised there and I wouldn't feel happy anywhere else. I want the familiarity of our home. The eggs will travel safely."  
"When do ya wanna go home?"  
"The day after tomorrow. I want to be cremate when I pass and some of my ashes scattered at the farmhouse, some on Turtle Island and the rest at our favorite spot. I'd rather than the white coffin we talked about before  
"Fine, but I also wanna keep some of yer ashes with me, so I know ya'll always be near," Raphael said with a sob and nuzzled into Leo's neck, inhaling his familiar and comforting smell of musk mixed with sandalwood.  
Leo kissed the back of his neck and said, "I'll always be your mate, Raph, and I'll always be with you."  
"In spirit ain't enough, Leo. I want ya with me physically. Why do ya gotta die?"  
"I don't have the answer. It's something I've asked, but I don't have any right to ask it. The question should be: Why not me? What makes me so special that I shouldn't get sick? How's my life worth more than someone else's? The answer is I'm not any more special than the next person."  
"Stop philosopherizin', Leo! And ya are ta me. Ya shouldn't…"  
Leo cut him off and said, "Promise me something."  
"What?" Raphael asked, looking up into Leo's sapphire eyes.  
"I want you to take the kids to Japan when they're older. I always wanted to go there and I think they'd love it. Leo jr loves the folklore and the stories about Martial Arts. He's almost ready to learn ninjitsu. I want you to teach him and all of the kids, including the girls. I want you to teach them that not all humans are bad. April and Casey were our friends. I know you're probably thinking of leaving when I pass, but that's a bad, bad idea, Raphie. You'll have six kids relying on you. How will you cope? At least you'll have our family back home. And what if you guys were captured? Don't go longer than a few days at most if you have to go and go alone. Uprooting the kids so soon after my death won't do them any good. They'll need familiarity and the family. I want you to consider taking Donnie as a mate."  
"Is that all ya wanna ask?"  
"Did you hear me?" Leo asked and pulled an exasperated face.  
"Yeah, Leo. I heard ya."  
"Will you do as I ask?"  
"I said I would earlier, but I don't want Donnie. I'll do the rest. Stop askin' 'bout him. I'll never want him, okay? And don't tell me that Donnie'll be lonely either. Don't guilt trip me like that! Won't work."  
Leo visibly relaxed and said, "That reassures me, but I do feel bad about Don."  
"Well, maybe he'll get lucky and will find a mutant. Mona Lisa's available!"  
"She's not his type. Donnie needs…"

Ali screamed lustily. Leo got to his feet and picked up the twins. "I have this, Raph," he said. He quickly fed them and changed them. Then he placed them back into the cot and kissed their beaks. "You two are the sweetest little angels that ever lived," he said tenderly. "And so is your daddy."

"Ugh, Leo!" Raphael said, his cheeks crimson. "Don't tell them that. Yer gonna ruin my tough guy image."  
Leo chuckled, cupped Raphael's face with his hands, kissed him and said, "You're just a big teddy bear, Raphie, despite your gruffness. Everyone knows that."  
"Yeah, well, I won't be after dinner," Raphael said with a smirk. "I'm gonna pound ya if yer up ta it and..."

"Dinner," Don called from outside the bedroom. "Hurry up. It's getting cold. Mikey's cooked lamb chops."

"Be right there, Donnie," Leo said and grabbed Raphael's hand.

The lovers headed to the kitchen and Raphael thought, I'm leavin' when he's gonna and I'm takin' my kids with me. I can't live in a place with so many memories of Leo. I just can't.

XXXX 

Leo ate hungrily and listened to his family chatting. It warmed his heart and saddened him at the same time. I'm going to miss this, he thought. Being with my family. The special moments. Watching the kids play, listening to Raph's laugh, his churring when I pleasure him, seeing his flushed face and those stunning golden eyes of his sparkle. I'm going to miss it all incredibly.

"Ya okay, Leo?" Raphael asked from beside him. "Ya look spaced out?"  
"Just thinking. I'm fine, Raph. Today's a good day."  
"I did some thinkin' too," Raphael said in a lower seductive tone. "We're goin' ta the beach after dinner for some quality time." He placed a hand under the table on Leo's tail and gently squeezed it, making Leo blush and duck his head.

The family didn't notice and Lily said, "Can we roast marshmallows on the fire, Daddy?"  
"Of course," Raphael said. "But ya gotta do it with yer uncles, because we're goin' swimmin'."

"Aw. Can we come too?" Leo jr asked.

"No," Leo said. "It's late, but you can tomorrow."

"Yippee!" Lily said. "I love the beach so much. I love it here. I wish we could live here. It's so nice."

"Ya done?" Raphael asked, changing the subject. "Are ya done, Leo? Go wash yer hands and then go watch some TV if ya are. Yer uncles will be there in a bit."

"Okay, Daddy," Lily said, standing up. "Come on, Leo. First one to the bathroom gets to watch what they want!"

"You're on!" Leo jr said, springing to his feet. He ran out of the room, followed by his sister.

The adults finished their meal. Then Kala said, "That was wonderful. Thanks, Mikey."

"Yes. Thanks, Mikey," Don, Raphael and Leo said in unison.

"You're welcome," Mikey said.

Kala offered to wash up and Mikey said he'd help her.

Raphael stood up and said, "Me and Leo are goin'. See ya guys later." He winked and added, as he helped Leo to his feet, "Don't wait up."

XXXX 

Leo and Raphael sat down on the golden sand, holding hands and gazing at the moon, which had just appeared. "It's so magnificent," Leo said in awe.  
"Ain't half as breath takin' as ya," Raphael husked. "Yer incredible, Leo. From those blue jewels of yers ta yer adorable little tail and of course yer perfect ass and toned thighs. Yer a walkin', breathin' god and yer mine. I still can't believe it even after all of these years."  
"I feel the same way about you, Raph," Leo said and kissed him passionately.

Raphael eagerly returned the kisses and their tongues battled for dominance, as hands explored, and their plastrons ground against one another's, causing loud rumbles to roll up their throats at the amazing feeling. Both felt extremely tight in their shells and it wasn't long before they dropped down, semi-erect cocks, leaking precum.

Panting, Leo broke the kiss and pushed his brother down into the sand. "About pounding," he said in a low tone. "It's my turn to top, so be a good boy, Raphie, and spread your legs."  
"Yer the only one I'd ever be uke for, Leo," Raphael said, parting his legs and looking at his mate lovingly. "Make me yers. Claim me and be as rough as ya like. Ya know I can handle it."  
"You sure?" Leo asked, running a hand down Raphael's muscular legs and making him shiver.  
"Ya know it. Ram into me. Fuck me hard!"  
"So impatient," Leo said with a laugh and lined his dick at Raphael's entrance. Without prepping him, Leo thrust inside of him and Raphael hissed at the sudden intrusion. "You okay?" Leo asked in concern.  
"Fine. Keep goin'!"

Leo lifted up Raphael's legs, placing them around his waist, so he could go in deeper. Then he resumed thrusting and repeatedly stabbed Raphael's sweet spot, causing deep rumbles to emanate from Raphael's throat. Leo looked at him tenderly, loving the noises he was pulling out of his mate and knowing he was the only one who drew them. Raphael was spectacular, but Leo thought he was even more gorgeous lying beneath him, his eyes closed, his tail on display and his gorgeous legs spread for his access. Yes, Raphael's a god, Leo thought, as a churr escaped his lips. A god to savor and love. He's my perfect drug and I've never tired of him. I know we'd be together forever if I wasn't dying. We're soulmates.

Leo intensified his thrusting and he came a short while later, churring and shouting Raphael's name and spraying his milky essence deep inside of his brother. Raphael came a minute later, yelling Leo's name and his essence painting his plastron white.

Leo pulled out of his brother with a satiated sigh and kissed his lips before lying down and wrapping his arms around him.

Raphael nuzzled him and whispered, "That was the best beach sex I ever had, Fearless."  
"That's the only beach sex you've ever had," Leo said with a grin.  
"Yeah, but it was fuckin' fantastic. Thank ya. And I love the afterglow. Snuggled with ya."  
"See. You are a teddy bear!"  
"Yers," Raphael said and kissed his lips. "I love ya so much, Leo. Good thing I'm on the pill, otherwise I'd fall gravid after all the fuckin' we've done."  
"Love you too, Raph. And I'm on the pill too, just in case. Donnie says that's wise. My body couldn't handle the pressure of babies. They'd zap my energy and I need all the energy, so I can fight. I am fighting, Raph. I talk about my death, but it's not because I'm a quitter. I'm just preparing you for…If my body gives out."  
"I know," Raphael said, pressing himself even closer against Leo and resting his head on his plastron. "Yer my brave Leo and I ain't never thought ya a quitter. I know ya;ll fight. Ya always have. No more talk 'bout death and cancer tonight. Please, Leo."  
"We should probably head back."  
"Yeah," Raphael said and yawned, but made no attempt to move.  
"Like now."  
"Five minutes."  
"All right."

Leo stroked Raphael's face and watched, as his brother's eyes closed and he began to gently snore, his plastron rising up and down, as he slept. Yes. Raphael's an angel, Leo thought. He's brought me so much happiness and I'm going to give my all and fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh. There will be a massive shock in the near future ;)
> 
> A/N Thank you for all the kudos and feedback. You guys are terrific.


	28. A Christmas blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to when Raphael laid Leo and his first egg on Christmas Eve. And lots of fluff with the family.

FLASHBACK FIVE YEARS PRIOR: DECEMBER 24

‘Twas Christmas Eve, and the Hamato family were gathered in the lounge, decorating the large Christmas tree that Mikey, Leo, and Donnie had foraged from the forest they’d driven to earlier that day. Carols were playing and cups of alcohol free egg nog rested on the coffee table, as well as bowls of chocolates and lebkuchen (the mouth-watering spiced German cookies the family loved). Mistletoe hung all around the lair and tea lights cast their glow over the room. All very festive. Christmas was the Hamato’s favorite time of the year, especially Mikey’s, who still believed in Santa, even though his brothers had told him multiple times he didn’t exist. Presents were few, but they were all thought out and precious. Mostly handmade that the brothers had worked on throughout the year. They always gave Mikey the most, loving how his eyes lit up, as he opened his gifts. Mikey was their joy and the world would be so much grayer if he wasn’t around.

Splinter and Raphael watched from the sofa, the latter lovingly rubbing his swollen belly. Six months gravid, Raphael was due to lay his eggs any day and the family was hoping he would at Christmas. Raphael didn’t mind what day it came, but the sooner the better. While he loved being gravid, he couldn’t wait to get back into training and going out on patrol, having been on the side lines the past four months and he was sick of resting and Leo’s fussing.

Leo looked up, smiled at his mate and said, “Think you can help us, Raphie?”  
“I’ll try, but hurts ta stand, Leo. My feet are so swollen,” Raphael said, struggling to get to his feet. Leo was by his side in a flash and helped him up. “Thanks."

Raphael linked his hand in Leo's and slowly walked to the tree. Leo handed him some fairy lights and Raphael placed it on the tree, while humming The First Noel, one of his favorite carols. “The tree looks stunnin’,” Raphael declared. “I love that it’s decorated in all our colors. Sensei, ya wanna help?”  
“No, my son,” Splinter said. “I’m content watching you.” He wrinkled his nose and added, “I smell something burning!”

“Shit!” Mikey said in alarm. “I hope it’s not the turkey!” He quickly ran to the kitchen, praying the food was okay.

“Mikey, don’t worry,” Don said. “We can order take out if it is."  
“Not the point!” Mikey yelled. “I didn’t spend all day slaving in the kitchen to eat takeout, Don!”

“Takeout’s better than some of yer concoctions,” Raphael said, stringing up another fairy light.

“I heard that, Raph,” Mikey said, re-entering the lounge. “Don’t forget you’ve been loving my creations with your strange cravings, like, let’s see. Peanut butter and anchovies? Jellybeans and mayonnaise? Pickles and custard? Should I go on? And the food’s fine, guys, but the mince pies are burned. Sorry.”

“Barf!” Don said and pulled a face. “Don’t remind me. I still can’t believe you ate that, Raph.”

“I can’t help it!” Raphael said and winced, as a sudden stab of pain hit him.  
“You okay, Raph?” Leo asked anxiously.  
“Fine. Probably just a reaction ta Mikey’s chili-raspberry tarts I had earlier.”  
“Maybe you should lie down.”  
“Leo, I said I’m fine,” Raphael growled. “Please quit yer naggin’. Yer drivin’ me crazy.”  
“All right, but the minute….”  
“LEO! ENOUGH!”

“Give him a break, Raph,” Don piped up. “Leo’s just concerned.”  
“I know that, Donnie, but I said I’m fine and I am. Now, pass me that light, Leo.” His mate did and Raphael strung it up. Admiring his handiwork, Raphael added, “Tree’s all done. Just the star ta do and it’s my turn.” He grabbed the silver star, placed it at the top and said with a grin, “All done.”

“Great job,” Leo said, wrapping an arm around his mate. “Do you think Santa will come this year? Have you been good, Raphie?” Leo added in a lower, seductive tone that sent tingles down Raphael’s spine and made him feel embarrassingly tight in his shell.  
“I’ve been so good, Leo. Wanna reward me?” Raphael said with a smirk. “I know somethin’ ya can do.”

Splinter cleared his throat and said, “Others are present. This is not the time, my sons.”  
“Sorry, Sensei,” Leo said apologetically.

“Mikey, did you remember to set out cookies for Santa?” Don asked.  
“Yes, bro. Choc chip and there’s tons more of them. I know mommy here wants some,” Mikey teased and stroked Raphael’s belly.

Golden eyes glowered at Mikey and Raphael swatted his hands away. “How many times do I gotta tell ya I’m not a mommy?” Raphael snapped. “I’m a daddy!”  
“I get it, but it’s fun riling you up!”  
“Just wait until I’ve laid the eggs. Yer gonna be sorry!”  
“Aw. You’re so cute when you’re mad, Mommy!”  
“That’s it!” Raphael said furiously, raising his fists, his golden eyes blazing.

“Raphael! Michelangelo!” Splinter said sternly. “Desist. It’s Christmas and that’s uncalled for. Michelangelo, is dinner ready?”  
“Yes, Sensei.”

Splinter stood and said, “Let’s go eat, my sons.”

XXXX

The family tucked into the beef curry Mikey had cooked, complete with sambals, rice and home made poppadams and naan bread. “So,” Mikey said around a mouthful of rice. “You guys thought of a name for the baby yet? How about after me? Michaela would be cool if you have a girl."  
If you’re stuck, how about after me? If you have a girl, Michaela would be cool.”

“We’ve been over this, Mikey!” Raphael said exasperatedly. “We ain’t namin’ the baby that. We like Lily for a girl and Leo for a boy. We ain't gonna change our minds."

Raphael grimaced, as a twinge of pain hit him again. Leo noticed and said, “Raph? You okay?”

“My son?” Splinter said. “Is it time?”

Raphael sucked in a deep breath and said, “I think so. Argh. I think my water broke!”

“Quick,” Don said, rising to his feet. “We have to get him to the infirmary. Leo, you help me. Mikey, go get cold cloths and some water.”  
“Is it the baby?”  
“Yes, Mikey. The baby’s coming. Hurry!”

Leo and Don carried Raphael to the infirmary.

XXXXX 

Leo and Don placed Raphael on a stretcher in the infirmary and propped up pillows behind him.

“Argh!” Raphael yelled. “It hurts, Donnie.”  
Leo was standing to one side and looking at a loss what to do. “I know, Raph,” Don said and examined him. “But it’ll soon be over. Leo, be useful and come and hold his hand. He needs you.”

“Yes,” Leo said. He approached the bedside and grabbed Raphael’s hand. “It’s going to be okay, Raphie.”

Mikey entered the room, flanked by Splinter. "Got the cloths,” Mikey said. He handed the cloths to Don and said, “Anything I can do, Don?”  
“Start the video cam over there when I tell you the egg’s coming out? Got it?”  
“Yes, bro. Where’s the egg coming out of?”  
“Raph’s cloaca.”  
“Gross,” Mikey said and wrinkled his beak in revulsion. “So glad I’m a proper boy and can’t lay eggs.”

“I am a proper boy!” Raphael screamed.

“Stop upsetting him, Mikey,” Leo snapped. “It’s all right, Raph. You’re fine.”  
“Easy for ya ta say. Ya don’t got a beach ball comin’ outta ya.” Raphael scrunched up his face in agony and gripped Leo’s hand so tightly, he winced..

“I want you to push, Raph,” Don said. “And keep pushing, okay?”  
“I’m sorry for ruinin’ dinner.”  
“Don’t worry. It’ll keep. Push. You can do it, Raph.”  
“Fuck!” Raphael yelled, as another contraction hit. “It fuckin’ hurts so bad.”

“Language,” Splinter said.  
“No disrespect, Sensei, but ya try layin’ an egg and then talk ta me ‘bout cussin’,” Raphael retorted. “Fuck, Leo. Yer fault I’m this way!”

“It's yours too,” Mikey said. “Takes two, Raphie.”  
“Fuck off, Mikey! Gah!”

“Push, Raphie,” Leo said and kissed his cheek. “Come on, sweetheart. You can do it. I know you can. Push our baby out.”

“Come on, Mommy,” Mikey teased, earning a glare from Leo.

Raphael pushed and sweat beaded his forehead and glistened on his emerald skin. He pushed for two hours, but the baby wasn’t coming out.

“I’m tired,” Raphael panted. “I can’t do no more. Wanna sleep.”  
Don wiped Raphael’s head with the cloth, peered between his legs and said, “I can see the egg. It’s coming, Raph. Push for all you’re worth.”

“Video cam time,” Mikey said, turning it on. Come on, Raphie.

Summoning the last of his strength, Raphael pushed, the toll of his efforts evident on his face, and out popped a perfect, little white egg.

“Wow,” Leo said in awe, staring at the egg. “It’s so beautiful. I’m so proud of you, Raphie,” he added, studying a breathless Raphael. He kissed Raphael’s beak. “So very proud. You did an amazing job.” He picked up the egg and handed it to Raphael, who ran his hand over it.  
“We did it, Leo. We did it. We’re parents,” Raphael said excitedly. “I can’t believe it.”

“Congratulations, my sons,” Splinter said. “I'm also proud of you, Raphael.”

“Congrats, bros,” Mikey said. “Aw. This is a terrific moment of the new parents with the egg. I can’t wait to show April and Casey when they come back from Montreal. And I’m an uncle. Wow. I can’t wait until the baby hatches. I’m going to be the best uncle!”  
“Ya show them this video, Mikey, and yer gonna get my fists in yer face,” Raphael said angrily. “It’s embarrassin’ and for family only!”  
“But they’re family.”  
“Mikey, I don’t want them seein’ this video. Big, macho me givin’ birth. It don’t sound right and I’d be embarrassed if Casey saw it. He’d think less of me.”  
“All right, but can I show them the hatching video when it happens?”  
“Yeah.”

“Congrats, guys,” Don said. “But the egg needs to go into an incubator now.”

Raphael and Leo kissed the egg and Raphael handed it to Don, who placed it into an incubator.

“How long until it hatches?” Mikey asked, turning off the video cam.

“Two months,” Leo said. “Plenty of time for us to finish decorating the nursery and to stock up on baby supplies.”

“I wanna sleep now,” Raphael said and yawned.

“Rest, my son,” Splinter said. “Good night, my sons. I love you. Merry Christmas.”

“When can I start trainin', Sensei?" Raphael asked?”  
“In two weeks' time,” Splinter said. “Sleep, Raphael. Good night.”

“Night, Sensei!” his sons said unison.

Mikey and Don said their goodnights, leaving the new parents alone.

Leo pulled up a chair by Raphael’s bedside, leant over and kissed him on the lips. “Merry Christmas, my takara.”  
“Merry Christmas, babe,” Raphael said sleepily and closed his eyes. “I love ya.”  
“Love you too, Raphie. Thank you for the best Christmas present ever.”

There no was no answer, because Raphael had fallen asleep, his plastron rising up and down, as he snored. Our first Christmas as a mated couple, Leo thought, as he watched his mate. It certainly was eventful. We’re parents. Can’t believe it and I can’t wait for the baby to hatch. I know Raphie’s going to be an awesome daddy. I’m so lucky to have him and I know we’re going to have hundreds of happy years together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks for all the kudos and feedback. You guys rock.


	29. Christmas Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback and continuation of Leo and Raph's first Christmas as a bonded couple. Smut and lots of fluff. And Mikey being his usual teasing self.

FLASHBACK: FIVE YEARS PRIOR DECEMBER 25

Raphael woke early, opened his eyes and grimaced, as pain coursed through his nether region. He’d known labor would be difficult, but he hadn’t expected it to be _that_ sore. It'd been the most agonizing pain he’d even endured.

No more babies for a while, Raphael thought. And no sex. Fuck. I like havin’ sex. It’s gonna be difficult keepin’ my hands offa Leo. He’s so fuckin’ hot with that gorgeous tail of his, his muscular, toned legs and butt and those eyes. He’s a livin’ breathin’ god and he’s mine. Thinking of his mate aroused a stiffening under his shell. Ignoring it, Raphael sat up and reached for a pain pill on the dresser, only to be pulled down by a pair of forest green hands.

"No,” Leo said, shoving him down onto his shell. He nipped Raphael's neck and added, "You’re not going anywhere, Raphie.”  
“Fuck, Leo. I was just tryin’ ta get a pain pill.”  
“Sorry. I thought you were trying to get up,” Leo said; He shifted away, so that Raphael could get his pill, which he did and swallowed.  
“As much as I hate just lyin’ around and doin’ nothin’, I got no ideas of gettin’ up anytime soon. My tail and cloaca hurt like a bitch. That egg did a number on me.”  
“I’m sorry, baby. Want me to kiss them better?”  
“Temptin’, Leo, but that’ll lead ta sex and that ain't wise now.”  
“I know what’ll make you feel better,” Leo said with a wink and pushed him back onto the bed.  
“Leo!”  
“Sh, Raphie. You’re going to like this a lot."

Leo gently kneed Raphael’s legs apart and coaxed his tail out and into his hands. He gently rubbed it, smiling as Raphael closed his eyes and hummed softly in pleasure. He’d always been the most sensitive in his tail and Leo knew it wouldn’t be long before Raphael’s thick rod dropped down. Leo placed Raphael’s tail in his mouth and sucked it to the root, enjoying the unique scent of his mate: musk mixed with gasoline and sweat, and loving the sounds he was pulling from his brother, whose moans had now increased in volume, his nails clawing into Leo’s arms and drawing blood, as pleasure coursed through him.

“Fuck, Leo!” Raphael said and churred.

Leo released his now soaking tail with a plop and turned his attention to Raphael’s slit. He alternately licked and stroked it until Raphael dropped down with a loud churr into Leo’s waiting hands. Leo kissed him on the beak and said, “This'll will blow your mind.” The leader studied the pulsating veins in his brother’s engorged cock and thought, Raphael’s cock is truly something magnificent. Thick, throbbing and needy, just like he is. I love him so much and I love hearing those adorable sounds he makes when he’s turned on and satisfied.

Leo slowly sucked Raphael’s meaty appendage until it was halfway down his throat. Raphael fisted the bedsheet, eyes still closed in sheer bliss, as Leo continued to suck. “Fuck. I’m gonna cum,” Raphael shouted and it wasn’t long before he came, shooting his seed down Leo’s willing throat. Leo greedily drank it down, savoring each salty drop as if it was nectar from the gods.

Leo released his brother’s cock, sucked it clean and pressed his lips to his satiated mate’s beak. “Feel better?” he asked, lovingly gazing at Raphael, whose face wore a huge grin.  
“Much,” Raphael said breathlessly. “Thank ya, baby, but what ‘bout ya?”  
“I can wait until you’re better.”  
“But that ain’t fair, Leo.”  
“It’s not about fairness, sweetheart. I’m just glad I made you happy and you’ve already done so much. Laying our egg, which was extremely taxing. That’s the best gift ever, Raphie, so you lie back and let me take care of you. I want to. There’s nothing I love more than making you happy.”  
“Sometimes I don’t think I deserve ya, Leo. Yer so good ta me and I’m grateful.”  
“You are deserving, Raph,” Leo said, stroking his face and making Raphael blush. He was still shy sometimes when it came to feelings. “So very. You’re always taking care of me. Let me do the same for you. I’ll feel offended if you don’t.”  
“Well, what do got have in mind? Another blow job?”  
“Not now. I’ll be right back."

Leo got up and left.

I wonder what he’s got planned, Raphael thought.

Leo returned with a basin of warm soapy water a few minutes later. He set it down onto the bed, reached into a dresser and pulled out a manicure set.

"What are ya doin’?” Raphael asked, quirking an eye ridge.  
“Time for some retail therapy,” Leo said. He moved the basin closer and placed Raphael’s feet into it. “They’re going to soak and then I’m going to trim your nails.”  
“Fuck, Leo! I don’t like that,” Raphael hissed.  
“I know, but they’re like talons now, Raph. Both your nails and your toe nails. They were fine when you were gravid and out of action, but they need to be cut if you want to be a ninja again. How will you properly handle a sai with claws?”  
“I kinda like them long. Ya said they were sexy and ya like it when I rake my nails down yer arms.”  
"I do, but not when it draws blood!”  
“NO!” Raphael snapped. “I ain’t havin’ them cut. No. Leo, no. They’re sexy. Look. Open that dresser there. There’s somethin’ I want ya ta take out. It’s a small red bottle.”  


Leo opened the dresser, took out the bottle and said in surprise, “Nail varnish?”  
“Yeah,” Raphael said, his cheeks reddening. “April’s nails look really great when she wears it and I thought it might be nice ta try. Don’t look at me that way. Ya think it’s stupid, don’t ya? I’m gonna still be out of action for a bit, so it could be fun, Leo. It’s sensual and sexy.”  
“You aren’t thinking of becoming a girl, are you?” Leo asked, stunned his macho brother would want his nails painted.  
“NO!”  
“Lipstick?”  
“No! Forget it. Ya just wanna laugh at me.”  
“All right if that's what you want. We’ll try it, but your nails will be cut when return to action.”  
“Cool. I’m ready.”

Leo opened the bottle and slowly painted three coats of scarlet nail polish onto Raphael’s nails and toe nails.

"All done," Leo said a while later.  
Raphael beamed and wiggled his toes in Leo’s face. “What do ya think?”  
“I have to admit they do look hot.”  
“Yeah. They’ll be hotter pressed against yer cock,” Raphael said huskily and tapped his ruby nails against Leo’s cheek, making him blush. “It's yer turn.”  
“What?” Leo said, aghast.  
“Ya said ya wanna make me happy, Leo,” Raphael said manipulatively.  
“Yes, but…”  
“Then do as I ask. Get the bottle in the second dresser.”  
“Raph…”  
“Now, Leo.”

Leo opened the second dresser, took out a bottle of blue nail polish and said, “Now what?”  
“I paint ya and yer gonna grow yer nails a bit. For me. It’ll be fun in foreplay too. Scoot over, so I can.”  
“Ugh,” Leo said and shifted away a bit, so Raphael could sit up. “Raph, really. I don’t…”  
“Relax. Yer gonna love this." 

Raphael opened the bottle and lifted up Leo’s feet into his lap. He slowly painted three coats, allowing each to dry before the next coat. Then he did the same to Leo’s finger nails and beamed at his handiwork when he was done.

“I love it,” Raphael said and kissed Leo’s hand. “What do ya think, baby?”  
“The others are going to laugh, Raph.”  
“I’ll clobber them if they do. Come on, Leo. I like it and ya like mine, so that’s all that matters, right?”  
“How long are we going to wear this?”  
“As long as I want,” Raphael said mischievously, a twinkle in his golden eyes. “After all ya wanna make me happy, don’t ya?”  
“Fine,” Leo grumbled.

“Breakfast,” Mikey called from outside the bedroom. “Hurry up, dudes. It’s getting cold.”

“Be right there,” Leo said and sighed. He got up and donned his gear and mask.

Raphael also donned his mask and gear and said, “Leo, I think the blue polish makes ya look extra sexy and yer eyes pop out. Let's go eat. I'm starvin'.

Leo said nothing and inwardly groaned. He knew he'd be laughed at. Raphael grabbed his hand and led an embarrassed Leo to the kitchen.

XXXX 

Raphael and Leo entered the kitchen and Mikey couldn’t contain his laughter when he saw them. “Nice nail polish, guys,” he snickered. “Something you’re not telling me?”  
Leo’s cheeks reddened and Raphael hissed, as he jabbed his finger into Mikey’s plastron, “Knock it off. Me and Leo thought it'd be fun ta try. A new sexual kink.”

Don glanced up from his coffee and said, "Uh, power to you. Wouldn’t catch me doing that.”

Splinter appeared and asked,“Doing what?”

“Raph and Leo painted their nails,” Mikey said. “It’s so feminine, but then Raph _is_ a mommy.”  
“I’m a daddy, ya fucker,” Raphael growled, his golden eyes blazing. “I just thought it'd be fun ta try. April’s nails always look so pretty.”  
“Suits you,” Mikey teased.

“Raphael, language!” Splinter admonished and sat down. “Michelangelo, please stop teasing Raph…”

“Raphaela,” Mikey finished. “And Leona. We don’t have brothers anymore. Only sisters.”

Donnie stifled a chuckle and nearly choked on his coffee.

“Easy there, Donnie,” Raphael said. He thumped Don's shell and made him glare at him. “Don’t want ya dyin’ on us. And Mikey I’m a fuckin’ guy. We thought….”

“You thought,” Leo said, sick of the baiting. “I didn’t really…”  
“Didn’t what?” Raphael demanded.  
“Enough!” Not wanting to upset his already annoyed mate any further said, Leo said, “Look, we just thought it’d be fun to try. It’s no big deal and it comes off.”

“Can we please move on?” Splinter said. “Let your brothers be and let’s enjoy Christmas. What have you made, Michelangelo?”  
“Chocolate pancakes and bacon and waffles for mommy and daddy,” Mikey said. He went to the stove and returned with a large plate of pancakes, waffles and bacon. He set it onto the table and said, “Tuck in, guys.”

Too hungry to argue about being called mommy, Raphael helped himself and began stuffing his face, causing Mikey to grin. “Easy there, mommy. The food’s not running away,” he said. Raphael kicked him under the table and Mikey yelped. “Ouch. I think those nails of yours drew blood, Raph.”  
“Good! Maybe it’ll make ya shut yer mouth!”

Everyone tucked in and helped wash up afterwards. Then they filed into the lounge, ready to open the presents.

XXXX 

Leo and Raphael occupied a sofa and Don and Splinter chose another, while Mikey sat on the floor next to the presents, eager to begin his role as Santa and dole out the gifts. They took turns and it was his turn. “Oh. I wonder what this is,” Mikey said. He picked up a box and shook it. “No rattle and it’s light. It’s addressed to you, Sensei. Here you go.”  
Splinter opened it and said with a smile, "I love my purple scarf. I needed a new scarf." He wrapped it around his neck and said, "Thank you, Leonardo and Raphael.”

“Our pleasure,” Leo and Raphael said in unison.

More presents were doled out and Don was thrilled to receive several new medical and science books, as well as a new laptop, while Mikey got a couple of recipe books and games. Splinter also got a few crime books and Leo loved his war books. Raphael loved his gifts, which consisted of new boxing gloves from Leo, hot chocolate from Mikey and a new phone from Don. He kept breaking his.

The family went their separate ways after all the presents had been handed out.

XXXX 

Leo and Raphael sat on their bed. 

“Thank you so much, baby,” Leo said and kissed Raphael’s cheek.  
“I got somethin’ else for ya. Look in the cupboard and ya'll see a small box.”

Leo did as he was told, opened the box and took out the object. “What is it, Raphie?”  
Raphael smirked and said, “It’s a cock warmer for when I’m not 'round. Ya slip it onto yer cock and it keeps it warm and snug. I knitted it. Love it?”  
Leo flushed and said, “I do. I’m going to test it….”

“GUYS!” new voices called from the entrance to the lair.

“It’s Casey and April,” Raphael said. “We’ll play later. Come on.”

Raphael and Leo walked hand-in-hand to the lounge. 

XXXX 

The brothers, April and Casey sat down after greetings and presents had been exchanged.

“What’s with the nail polish?” Casey asked, glancing at Raphael and Leo’s nails.

“Fun for foreplay,” Raphael replied. “Leo likes me rakin’ my nails down his thick cock. Don’t ya?”  
“Raph….” Leo began.

April coughed, as Casey’s eyes bugged at the blunt comment. He was still getting used to his friend being gay and being Leo’s mate, and in truth, seeing them together made him feel awkward. It wasn’t because he was jealous. He loved April. It was just seeing his macho friend being so amorous with a male, because he’d always thought Raphael liked girls. And it didn't look right to him! He'd always believed that guys belonged with girls and not other guys.

“Hey,” Mikey said, sensing tension in the room. “Let’s watch a movie?”

“I’m game,” Raphael said and openly nuzzled his beak against Leo’s, making Casey redden in discomfort. Raphael had never been an openly affectionate guy before Leo and now he was openly loving his mate, who contentedly snuggled back. Something he too, wouldn't have done before they'd hooked up.

“Me too,” Don said.

“Me three,” Casey said. “What do you have, Mikey?”  
“I’ll get a selection that’s in my room. Be right back.”

Mikey returned a few minutes later, laden with DVD’s. He selected a blank one and said, "I don’t know what’s on this one. It’s new and I forgot to label it.” He popped it into the DVD player, pressed play and immediately everyone saw Raphael lying on the stretcher, in the throes of labor, his legs parted, as he screamed.

“MIKEY!” Raphael roared and leapt to his feat. "What the hell's this?"  
“I’m sorry, Raphie. I thought… Don made a copy for me last night and I didn’t realize this was it. I thought this was another blank DVD. I have….”

“What is it?” April asked.

“Raph’s laying the egg,” Mikey said. “I didn’t mean!”

Raphael ejected the DVD, swung a punch at his brother’s jaw and hissed, “I begged ya not ta show it, Mikey! Casey will think I’m weak and pathetic, seein’ me like that! But no, ya had ta show it and ta embarrass me!”  
“Ouch, Raph,” Mikey moaned and rubbed his aching jaw.

“Whoa, Raph. I don’t think laying an egg makes you any less of a man,” Casey lied. It’s, um, not…” Casey fished for the right words and said, “Usual, but it shows strength.”  
“Don’t patronize me, Casey!”  
“I’m not. I could never give birth. No way, but you did. That’s something to be proud of and you carried the egg for ages too and endured sore feet, a sore a back and intense discomfort. You’re a champion. Did you take medication for the labor?”  
“No,” Raphael said, slightly mollified.

“Wow,” April said in awe. “Casey’s right. You’re so brave, Raph. I’m impressed. I definitely want medication when I’m in labor.”

“Was no big deal,” Raphael said gruffly. “It had ta come out and that was…”

“He could have had a Caesarian,” Don said. “But he wanted a normal birth. I think he’s courageous.”

“Me too,” Leo piped up. He stood up, went over to his mate's side and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Raph’s my hero.”

“And mine,” Mikey said. “I prank you, bro, but I love you and I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“Well,” Raphael said, his plastron puffed up in pride. “I was never weak and I could do it again, Leo, but not yet. I wanna wait a bit. I suppose ya can watch the resta the video if ya really don't think I'm weak."

“I’d love to,” April said.

Mikey placed the DVD back into the player, pressed play and it resumed.

Casey knew, as he viewed Raphael lay the egg, that he'd never feel the same way about his friend again and he wished he could erase the images from his mind. Raphael was no longer the same brash warrior he'd befriended in his eyes. He was Leo’s mate, soft and a mommy (he viewed him as a girl, due to the egg laying) and he doubted they’d be hanging out much now that Raphael had new responsibilities, which suited him fine. He knew he couldn’t accept the new Raphael.

XXXX 

Leo and Raphael were lying in bed after Casey and April had gone home.

"Ya've been quiet since April and Casey left, Leo," Raphael said.  
“I think Casey's weirded out by it all, despite what he said. I’m sorry. I know he’s your friend.”  
“Leo, as much as he’s my pal, Casey can fuck the hell if he can't accept me, us together and our egg. I don’t regret any of it. Yer the most important person in the galaxy. Ya and the egg and that’s all that matters ta me. I love fightin’, bashin’ heads and hangin’ out with Casey, but I love bein’ with ya more and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Than by yer side for the resta my life. It’s home and where I belong. Anyone, who can't accept it can fuck off. Ya got regrets?”  
“No. I feel the same way about you and our baby.”  
Raphael kissed him on the lips and said, “Been a long day, baby. Let’s go ta sleep. I might be feelin’ better tomorrow. It's my turn ta look after ya if I am. Merry Christmas. I love ya.”  
“Aishiteru,” Leo said, gazing tenderly at him. “Merry Christmas, takara.”

“Sap,” Raphael said. He nuzzled into Leo's neck, inhaling his musky scent and wrapped his arms around him.

Raphael thought before he drifted off to sleep, I may have lost Casey as a friend and that’ll be hard. I’ll miss him, but I’ve gained so much. A mate and a baby and I’m truly blessed. This has been the best Christmas ever and I look forward ta many more with my adored and fuckin’ sexy Leo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks for the kudos and reviews :)
> 
> To the troll, who seems intent on ruining my love of writing, I'm not going anywhere and I will never stop writing. So there. Your little weak flaming didn't work.


	30. Devastating news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Raphael get more devastating news.

The next morning, June 8, Leo woke, as dawn broke, and stretched his stiff limbs. He and Raphael had ended up spending the night on the beach. It'd been a warm evening, so they hadn’t been cold.

Leo gazed at his still sleeping mate and smiled. Raphael's so frigging beautiful, he thought, resisting the urge to kiss his brother. Last night was perfect. Just like every day with him has been. It’s so sad we don’t have many days left, he thought, as a stab of pain hit him. He grimaced, let out a low whine and sucked in a deep breath. That hurt too and he couldn’t help moaning again.

Babe,” Raphael said, instantly alert, his golden eyes fixed on him, concern etched on his handsome face. “Ya okay?” he added, stretching out an emerald skinned hand.  
“It’s nothing, Raph. Honest," Leo said and took his hand.  
“BS. Ya whined, Leo. Is it the cancer?”  
“I’ll….”  
“Stop it, Leo. Be honest.”  
“Hurts. Raph, you need to start preparing for life without me. I haven’t much time.”  
“Don’t say that. Yer gonna fight, ain’t ya?” Raphael asked sadly, as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Ya ain’t givin’ up, are ya?”  
“No. Look, Raph. I’m fighting, but this disease is stronger than me and we don’t have access to the medicines that the humans have. You need to accept that I most likely am going to die and you need to be strong for our babies. They need you.”  
“Fuck this be strong shit! How am I supposed ta be when yer gonna die? Yer my universe, Leo. My everythin’. I wish it were me instead. I fuckin’ wish it were me!” Raphael said and sat up. “I fuckin’ pray every night for ya ta be okay and what good does that do? The Great Man don't listen! Yer just growin’ weaker.”  
“I understand your anger, Raph, but my illness isn't God’s fault.”  
“Then whose fault is it, Leo?”  
“No one’s. There’s no one to blame. It sucks, but it just happens. And it’s not just me. Thousands of peoples’ lives are cut short daily, whether it be….”  
“I don’t give a fuck ‘bout other people. I love ya! We’ve fought many battles, numerous attempts on our lives, but this...Wish we could fight this...Cancer….I fuckin’ hate it. I hate that yer gonna leave me and the kids. I hate knowin’ I’m never gonna be able ta love ya, cuddle ya, fuck ya and smell ya. That the kids will grow up without ya.”  
“I hate it all too, Raph. I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m inconsolable at leaving you. That’s what hurts most. Leaving my takara. You.”  
Raphael sniffed and said, “How many days do ya think we got left?”  
“I don’t know, but I want my remaining days to be happy ones. Take it out on your punching bag if you’re mad. I just want good memories. Please. Can you do that for me? Baby, the kids need happy memories. Not us arguing and crying and you need counselling when I've passed.”  
“Yeah, like counsellin’ is an option for mutant turtles,” Raphael scoffed. “Be real. I’ll deal with it my way.”  
“That’s what I’m afraid of. Please talk to Donnie. He’s a good listener.”  
“Blah, blah, blah. I’m leader now, so I don’t gotta listen ta ya.”  
“It’s not an order, Raph. It’s a request. Please. One minute you say you’ll be fine and the next you wonder how you’ll cope. Counselling's part of the solution and so is letting our family be there for you.”  
“Fine. I’ll talk ta someone.”  
“You won’t, will you?”  
“Ugh, Leo. Don’t nag. I said I would! I give ya my word I will. There. How’s that?”  
“As long as you mean it.”

There was silence for a few minutes. Then Raphael said, "How ya feelin’ now?”  
“Fine,” Leo lied, ignoring the pain coursing through him. “Can we watch the sun rise and then go home?”  
“You don’t look…”  
“Raph, don’t mollycoddle me! Please.”  
“Fine, but straight ta bed when we get home. Dr. Raph’s orders,” Raphael said. He scooted closer and threw his arms around his mate.

Leo snuggled up to him and they watched the sun slowly rise, the brilliant orange and pink lighting the sky, creating the most exquisite canvass any artist would be proud of.

“Wow,” Leo said in awe, his sapphire eyes shining in happiness. “It’s like a picture post card. So perfect.”  
“Just like ya. Leo, I love ya so much.”  
“Back at you, baby,” Leo said. He turned to face his mate and pressed his lips onto his in a sweet and gentle kiss. “I love you, Raph. Forever and when you see the stars at night, one of them will shine the brightest. That’ll be me watching over you.”  
Raphael choked back a sob and said, as tears ran down his face, “Leo, yer the most precious thing I got.”  
Leo kissed his tears away and said, “Sh. I’m here. Don’t cry. I’m here. Dry your eyes. Then we'll go home and have breakfast with the kids, okay? Let them see us laughing and smiling and the intense love we have for one another. Those are memories they need.”  
Raphael nodded and said, “Our love will transcend and live on.”  
“It will. True love doesn’t die. It transcends and the energy never dies. I'll live on in the kids and in you. They're the legacy of our love and I know you’ll continue being an amazing daddy.”  
“I’m a Neanderthal when it comes ta parentin’. Yer the better daddy.”  
“Bullshit. Whatever I’ve done, I wouldn’t be able to without your co-parenting. Believe me. And parenting came to you more naturally than it did me. Remember when Leo hatched and he was sobbing, I was afraid to hold him, because he was so small? You were too, but you picked him up so gently and held him close to your plastron, as if you’d done it before. His sobbing immediately stopped, because he felt safe with you.”  
Raphael chuckled at the memory and said, “I was trembling inside and worried I’d drop him. Me being so clumsy and my huge hands that aren't built ta hold a precious bundle.”  
“But you didn’t, Raph. You were incredible with him and the other kids. They're blessed to have you and I have been. You make all of us feel so loved and safe. I know it’s a cliché, but you’re amazing, Raph. Just the way you are. Amazing in every way and there's nothing I'd change about you.”  
“Yer gonna make me cry again,” Raphael sniffed.  
“Just being honest. You'll be fine with the kids, Raph, but you do need….”  
“I said I’d go ta counsellin' Leo. Don’t nag.”  
“You’ll miss my nagging,” Leo teased.  
“I will, but I don't wanna hear it right now. I want us ta go back and spend time with the kids. Can ya stand?”  
Leo nodded and gingerly rose to his feet, but another stab of pain hit him. He winched and said, "I don’t think I can walk, Raph. It hurts again.”  
“I got ya, baby,” Raphael said and scooped him up into his strong arms. “I got ya and don’t fight me. Yer goin' straight ta bed when we get back."  
“Whatever you say, Dr. Raph!”

XXXXX 

They arrived home and Raphael placed Leo into their bed. Leo jr was playing outside with Mikey and Kala.

“What’s wrong with Daddy, Papa?” Lily asked. She’d been watching Frozen with Donnie and seeing Raphael enter the farmhouse with Leo in his arms, had wanted to know if all was okay.  
“He’s not feelin' well and just wants some sleep,” Raphael said.

“Daddy?” Lily asked, looking at Leo.  
“I just want sleep,” Leo said with a smile. “I’ll be all right, Lily.”  
“You sure, Daddy?”  
“Yes. Go watch the movie. Uncle Don will be there in a bit.”  
“Okay, Daddy. Love you. Bye.”  
“Love you too, my sweet girl.”

“What happened, guys?” Don asked.  
“Me and Leo spent the night at the beach,” Raphael said. “And he started feelin' really sore and couldn't breathe today. That ain't happened before, Donnie. We got a real bad feelin’ he’s…..” Raphael’s voice trailed off and a stray tear ran down his cheek.  
Fear bubbled in Don’s chest, because it confirmed Leo was deteriorating faster than he’d thought. Masking his emotions, Don said, “I’ll need to examine him.”

Raphael clutched Leo’s hand in his and said, “Be gentle.”

Leo mustered up a smile and said, “It’ll be all right, Raph."

Don had advanced medical equipment, which he’d set up for their sojourns at the farmhouse, and he did a thorough examination of Leo.

Don said in a broken voice when he'd finished, "You guys are right. I’m sorry. Leo’s cancer has metastasized. He doesn’t have months. He has weeks. Possibly just days.”

Raphael emitted a long anguished howl, dropped Leo’s hand and crumpled to the floor in a heap, sobs wracking his body. Leo attempted to soothe him and Don shed tears of his own.

Leo’s leavin’ me, Raphael thought miserably. He’s really gonna be gone and there ain't nothin’ I can do. Nothin’. I wanna die too. Please strike me down. I can’t live without him! I can’t. He’s my universe, my strength, my heart, my soul! I'm nothin' without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks for all the kudos and reviews. :)
> 
> This story isn't winding down any time soon, even when Leo passes and I'm still doing the alternate version. A happier one.
> 
> Six years ago today, I learned my grandpa had lung cancer and it absolutely devastated me. He passed later that year and while I was so glad he was no longer suffering, it left a hole in my heart. I miss and love him so much.


	31. Prey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is faced with a new danger after Splinter talks him down from taking his life.

Raphael suddenly sprang to his feet, his face ashen and tear streaked, and said, “I’m sorry, Leo, but I can’t live without ya. Please forgive me.” He bolted out of the room before anyone could say anything, ran out of the house and headed to the forest.

“Go after him, Donnie!” Leo yelled. “He’s going to do something stupid.”  
“I’m on it,” Don said and ran after Raphael.

XXXX 

Raphael ran until he was sure he was so deep in the forest that no one would find him. Then he sank to the ground and reached for his sai in his obi. His lower lip trembling and tears streaming down his cheeks, he was about to plunge the sai into his plastron, when he heard, “Raphael, my son.”  
Raphael glanced up and seeing Splinter said in amazement, "Dad?"  
“Yes. It is I, my son. Stop. This isn’t the answer. Your babies need you.”  
“Leo’s my heart, Dad. I can’t live without him. It’s…Surely, ya understand. Ya lost yer wife.”  
“I do understand, Raphael, and I was heart sore and grief-stricken, but I had to carry on for you and your brothers’ sakes. You needed me and to tell you the truth, you boys also gave me a reason for living. I am sot proud of all of you. My pride and joy. You have to do the same for your babies. Losing one parent is bad enough, but two? No, Raphael. You can’t do that to them.”  
“They’d be fine with Donnie, Mikey and Kala.”  
“Perhaps, but they’d be better off with you, their father. You know I’m right. There will be difficult times ahead, but there will be moments of happiness too.”  
“Like what? How can there be any happiness without Leo?”  
“I also asked myself that question when Tang Shen passed away. The answer came when I found you and your brothers. You all brought me so much joy and it was a pleasure and a privilege to be your Sensei and father. Your children will do the same, Raphael. They will be your strength and hope and,” Splinter said and smiled. “There will be two more Hamato's in the not too distant future.”  
“Yeah. I know the babies are gonna hatch.”  
Splinter didn’t correct him. He smiled mysteriously and said, “Indeed. Raphael, Leonardo and I do not wish you to follow us into death so soon. You’re only nineteen and have the rest of your life ahead of you. We want you to live your life to the fullest and to be there for the babies. That is how you can honor us. Killing yourself is like a slap in the face to us and it will not put Leo’s soul at rest. He needs to know that his treasured mate, the father of his babies, will be there for them when he passes. Do you not wish to make Leonardo’s last wishes a reality?”  
“Of course I do, but….Look, if I were dyin’, Leo’d be like a wall of strength, because he is…He’s strong and brave. I ain’t. Never been. On the outside, yeah, but inside, there’s always been fear and insecurity. That’s the real me and this has only shown me that nothin’ has changed. I’m the same weak kid I’ve always been.”  
“Nonsense, my son. You underestimate yourself. You are every inch as courageous as Leonardo. You have fought many battles, fighting alongside your brothers and always protecting them. You have never given up when faced with adversity. You still went ahead with the pregnancies when you were told the births of your babies could be life threatening to you. That is heroic, Raphael.”  
“I loved the babies, Dad. How could I abort them?”  
“Precisely. It’s the same now, Raphael. You loved your children and put their lives ahead of yours, so you need to do the same thing now. Love them and be there for them. Put your weapon away, go home and love them and Leonardo.”  
“But….”  
“No buts, Raphael. You owe it to them.”  
“But what if I break down?”  
“It’s all right to crack. Perfectly normal, but it’s not all right to end your life, especially as eight babies need you.”  
“Eight? I don’t understand. I only got six. No. Yer jokin’, right?” Raphael said in disbelief.  
Splinter placed a paw on his shoulder and said, “Tell the family you need time alone when you feel like you’re about to break down. They’ll understand. You also need to grieve. You can do this, Raphael. I know you can. You’re stronger than you think and you’re an incredible father. I have faith in you. I always have. I was hard on you sometimes, because I saw your potential and knew you could do better. The only one who doubted you was yourself.”  
Raphael choked back a sob and said, “I don’t know, Dad.”  
“I do know and I was right about your potential. Look at you now. A husband and a father. You have a better handle on your temper and you’re going to be a fine clan leader. You’ve excelled, Raphael, and I am so proud to call you my son. I love you.”  
“Love ya too, Dad, but this…”  
“Will only make you tougher, Raphael. Dry your tears and know I am always by your side. Promise me you will do what I said.”  
“I still ain’t sure, Dad, but I'll try. I just know I’m gonna fall apart when Leo…When he’s no longer here.”  
“And that’s okay. It’s normal. He’s your mate and you love him. Everyone will understand. Get up and go home. I love you, Raphael. You can do this.”  
“Love ya too,” Raphael whispered. He stood up, placed the sai back in his obi and buried his head in Splinter’s fur, tears running down his face. “I need ya, Dad, and miss ya so much.”  
Splinter hugged him tightly and said, "So do I, my son. You can do this, Raphael. I know you can. Leonardo knows you can. He’s never ever doubted you.”

Footsteps sounded and Donnie appeared, relief visible on his face at seeing Raphael alive. “Raph!” he exclaimed.  
“Hi."  
“Been looking everywhere for you. Leo thought you’d…”  
“Nah. I freaked out and needed some space. That’s all. Ain’t that right, Dad?” he said, looking Splinter’s way, but the aged rat had vanished.  
“Dad?” Don said in astonishment.  
“Nothin’,” Raphael said, knowing Don didn’t believe in ghosts. “I went ape-shit, but I ain’t gonna top myself, Donnie.”  
“But you said ‘please forgive me.' That sounded like you were about to kill yourself, Raph.”  
“I was gonna, okay? But then I thought 'bout my babies and how much they need me and I couldn’t do it. Losin’ Leo will be hard enough for them. I know they’re small, but they’ll still miss him and won’t understand where he’s gone. I ain’t lookin’ forward ta that convo. Tellin’ them Daddy’s gone ta the angels. Never thought I’d have that convo actually. Thought me and Leo would still be together hundreds of years from now, but no… Cancer had ta come and fuck with us and take my Leo!”  
“Raph, you won’t be alone. We’ll all be there for you and the kids.”  
“I know that and I’m grateful, but it ain’t what me and Leo had planned. We had dreams, Donnie. Retirement dreams too.”  
“I’m sorry, Raph. I….”  
“Me too. Listen, I still need a bit of time alone. I won’t do anythin’ dumb. Tell Leo I’m fine and I’ll be home soon. I promise.”  
“I don’t know, Raph. He…”  
“Please, Donnie. I swear I’ll be home in an hour, okay?”  
Donatello shook his head and said, “No. You’re coming home with me now. No arguing. Leo’s extremely worried and I’m not leaving you alone. Now!”  
“Fine,” Raphael huffed. “Damn. Yer stubborn.”  
“Learned from you,” Don quipped. “Get a move on.”

The brothers began to wend their back to the cabin, unaware they’d been watched.

XXXX

Raphael thought, as they walked home, ain’t no way I’m gravid. Sensei was just yankin’ my chain and surely, the Great Bein’ wouldn’t be so cruel givin’ me two more? Ain’t six enough?

The brothers were halfway home, when Raphael suddenly felt a sting in his left arm. Irritated, he saw that it was a tranquilizer dart. “What the fuck?” he said, pulling it out. “This means someone else is here, Donnie, and has seen us.”

Before Don could comment, he too, was hit, but in his right leg. “Run, Raph,” he shouted, pulling the dart out, “Before the drug takes affect!”

They tried to walk, but soon feeling the effects of the tranquilizer, and their legs feeling like jello, they fell to the ground in a heap, eyes sliding shut.

The hunter, a young dark haired and eyed man named Curtis Bond, crouched over their bodies and thought, giant Turtles. I’ve struck it rich, but I can only take one. Has to be the emerald skinned one. Love how huge it is and the shell alone, will fetch a handsome sum. Bond picked up Raphael and swiftly made his way back to his cabin.

XXXX

Bond placed Raphael onto the floor and removed his mask, weapons and gear, tossing them onto the floor. Then he ran a hand over Raphael’s body, admiring his muscles and toned legs and thighs. Must be a boy, he thought. So developed. Impressive. Bond reached inside Raphael’s slit and withdrew his flaccid dick. Now I know it’s definitely a boy, he thought. Lovely sized dick. Bet it’s huge at full mast. Can’t wait to see that. Bond then went to a cage in the back room, put bowls of water and pellets inside and thought, perfect food for an animal. My pet.

Bond returned to Raphael, slipped a blue studded collar around his neck and lifted him into his arms. Then, after depositing him inside the cage, Bond locked it and stood, arms folded, waiting for Raphael to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Will Raph ever see his family again? And what does Bond have in store for him?
> 
> Sorry I haven't been updating. My net's been down since Saturday. Hopefully, no more issues! Thanks to you all for your support.


	32. Imprisoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is irate when he discovers his situation.

In an alternate universe, 2012 Leo packed his things into a duffel bag and wrote a note to his mate, tears streaming down his cheeks. He loved his mate, but it was one fight too many and he didn’t have the energy or patience for more. “Raphael, it’s clear I’m not what you want and I’m tired of this tension between us. I’m going to go find myself. Look after our brothers and be well. Leo.” The sapphire eyed turtle crept out of his room, placed the letter on the kitchen table. Then he went into Don’s lab, knowing his brother had gone to bed early for a change, because he had a cold.

XXXX

Leo activated the portal machine and thought, what better place to find myself than a different dimension. He stepped through the portal, marvelled at the dense forest and thought, this is the perfect place to find myself. Maybe I’ll find peace here.

XXXX

Raphael stirred, groaned and rubbed at his eyes, as he slowly sat up. “Welcome back, pet,” Bond said.  
Raphael’s gaze landed on the man and he snarled, “Who the fuck are ya?”  
“That’s no way to talk to your Master, pet, but in time you'll learn manners and will learn your place. My word, you're a magnificent beast and to think there are others of your kind too.”  
Feeling something tight around his neck, Raphael tried to take off the collar, but it was securely tied and padlocked and Raphael had to give up. Baring his teeth, he growled, got to his feet and grabbed the cage bars. “I ain’t no pet and I’ll never bow ta ya. Ain’t in my nature.”  
“We’ll see, my beauty. Where do you come from and how did you come to be?”  
“I ain’t gonna talk ta ya. Let me fuckin’ go or I will…”  
“You will what? You have no power, pet. Accept your fate. It’ll be easier for you.”  
“Ya gotta let me go! I ain’t no fuckin’ animal. I can reason, talk, walk, and my…”  
“That other turtle was fascinating, but you're more intriguing. I'm sure you’ll make me loads of money. I hope you like your new dwelling and the food's to your liking.”  
“Fuck ya,” Raphael hissed, his golden eyes stony. “Leave him alone, ya hear?”  
Bond chuckled and said, “You’re so feisty. That’s cute, but you'll soon be tame. That always happens. You see my angry little money maker, I'm an animal whisperer, as well as a trapper, and I've dealt with far more ferocious beasts than you, so I've every confidence you'll soon obey. I know how to deal with savage beasts.”  
“My name's Raphael! I ain’t no beast. I got feelings and thoughts and I wanna..Let me out now!” Raphael raged, throwing his shell against the bars. “Think how ya’d feel if ya were caged! Wouldn’t ya wanna be free? Let me out now!”  
“I don’t think so, pet, and appealing to my good nature's pointless. I don’t have one or a moral conscience. That died years ago, so beg or barter, whatever, but it’ll do no good. You’re mine to do with as I please. It won’t be all doom and gloom. You get free food and board. What a lucky boy you are, huh?”

Incensed, Raphael roared and threw the bowl of pellets at Bond, some of the pellets hitting the man in the face.

But Bond did’t yell. Instead, he said, as if talking to a small child, “Naughty and ungrateful boy. I should take you over my knee and spank you, but I won’t. I understand it’ll take time for you to adjust to your new life and it won’t be easy at first, but I know you'll adust. People are resilient and there will be no more temper tantrums. As for Raphael, I don’t care for the name. It’s too dignified for a creature like you. Your new name is Sheldon. Get it, Sheldon? Maybe you don’t get it. I think it’s funny. Look, I’m twisted and evil and easily impatient, so you don’t want to anger me. You will come off second best every time. As for escaping, I wouldn’t try. I sleep lightly and am an expert tracker and we won’t be here much longer anyway. So, get some rest, Sheldon.”  
“What do ya want with me?” Raphael demanded. “Ta kill me?”  
"No, temperamental creature. Not at all. Like I said, you’ll make me money, but not by selling your body parts, although your shell would net a huge sum. It’s gigantic. A bit scratched, so I guess you don’t take care of it. That’ll change. I’ll polish it and will ensure you're well maintained and fed. Now, the other creatures..."  
“Ain’t no others, but the one ya saw and he’ll be long gone by now,” Raphael lied, praying that was the case. “He’ll be spooked and have fled, because he's such a wuss.”  
“Do you have a mate?”  
“Obviously not. Just me.”  
“Such a shame, but you’ll do. You're gorgeous,” Bond said, ogling Raphael’s body. “How'd you get such bulging muscles?”  
“Listen, pally, ya ain’t gonna fuck me,” Raphael snapped, annoyed at the man’s lecherous gaze. “So get those sick ideas outta yer mind.”  
“I’m not into bestiality, pet, so that never crossed my mind. I’m just in awe of your musculature. How'd that happen? Working out? How?”  
“Tell ya what,” Raphael drawled. “Ya let me outta here and I’ll tell ya whatever ya wanna know.”  
“Nice try, Sheldon, but not going to work.”  
“LET ME OUTTA HERE, YA FUCKIN’ PSYCHO!” Raphael said, gripping the bars and glaring at the man.  
“Here we go with the temper tantrum again,” Bond said and tutted. “And what vulgar language. Youngsters today have no manners. Disgraceful. You’ll soon learn respect. I estimate you're twenty at most."  
“Fuck ya,” Raphael shouted, his face darkening. “Ya just wait until I’m free. Gonna beat the fuckin’ shit outta ya. Who the fuck do ya think ya are treatin’ me like this?”  
Bond yawned and said, “You’re tiresome, Sheldon, but I’m not afraid of you. I will break you and I’ll enjoy every moment. Later. I’m going to check my traps. Perhaps you want meat? Are you a carnivore? What do you like eating?”  
“FUCK YA!”

When Bond had left, unwanted tears ran down Raphael’s face and he thought, I’m done for. I got a gut feelin’ this creep means business and I’m never gonna see Leo or my babies again. Leo's gonna die and I'm never even gonna get the chance ta say goodbye.

XXXX

2012 Leo was picking berries from a bush, when his foot caught in something. Howling with pain, he glanced down and saw that it was caught in a trap, which had been hidden by a thick patch of leaves. Damn it, he thought. How the hell am I going to get out of this fix?

Unfortunately for Leo, Bond heard his shrieks of agony and fired his tranquilizer dart at Leo, hitting him in his right arm. Leo yelped, pulled out the dart, and thought anxiously, hunters. All makes sense now. Traps, darts. I’m prey. Have to try and get free before the drug takes effect!

“Hello, pet,” Bond said, approaching him. “You’re a stunner, aren’t you?”

Leo looked up, but the drug took effect before he could comment, his legs buckled underneath him and he slumped to the ground, eyes sliding shut.

“Yes,” Bond said, removing Leo’s leg from the trap and admiring his chiselled body. “He’s so perfect and he’ll be good company for Sheldon. Everyone deserves company, even beasts. This one’s leg is mangled, but medication will help him recover, although he’ll probably be left with a bad limp. Too bad for him and more for me. Today’s been a wonderful day indeed. Bond lifted up Leo into his strong arms and headed to his cabin.

XXXX

Bond quickly undressed Leo, removing his gear, mark and weapons. Then he ran his hands over Leo's body. Perfection, he thought and grinned. I hope they play nicely together. He inspected Leo’s slit, pulled out his flaccid dick and thought, another boy. Too bad. A female would have been better to breed, but at least Sheldon has a pal now. Maybe he won’t be so pent up. I'm disappointed there won’t be babies, though. But maybe I’ll get lucky and will find a female. Sheldon said there are no other turtles, but he was clearly lying, so I have hope I’ll find more. This one’s dick isn’t as big, but it’s decent enough. Males are territorial, aren’t they? That’ll be interesting if this is the case. Will Sheldon be the alpha or blue here? Blue's a good name for him.

Bond went to Raphael’s cage and the emerald skinned turtle turned his shell on him again. “Fine. Be that way, Sheldon. See if I care,” Bond said and fired a tranquilizer dart.  
Raphael grunted in surprise, as it hit his arm. He hissed, turned around, golden eyes flashing, and said, “What the fuck?”  
“I’m not taking any chance, Sheldon. Relax. You’ll soon have a restful sleep and you won’t be alone anymore.”

Raphael took a few steps, trying to reach the bars, wanting to choke the man for caging him like an animal and degrading him, but the drug took effect and he fell to the ground with a dull thud, eyes sliding shut.

“Good,” Bond said and went in search of fruit and more water and pellets. He returned and placed them into the cage. Then he returned to Leo, picked him up and carried him to the cage. After depositing him inside, he beamed in satisfaction, as he locked the cage and thought, two pets. I'm blessed. Will they copulate? It's a known fact that if there are no females, male turtles copulate with one another, so I'm in for a treat. I’m looking forward to the show! Time for some supper, he thought and went into his small kitchen. Hunting always makes me ravenous.

XXXX

Raphael woke several hours later. He opened his eyes and moaned, as he sat up. It was pitch dark, but he was able to make out another figure, who was also just waking. Raphael edged closer, sniffed him, and his eyes shining with happiness, declared, “Leo!” Then Raphael planted a kiss on his lips.  
Leo’s sapphire eyes blazed. He punched Raphael in the jaw and yelled, “Get the hell off of me, whoever you are.”  
Raphael staggered back in surprise and said, “What the hell was that for? It’s me, Raph, Leo. Yer mate. Why don’t ya recognize me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks for the wonderful reviews. I'm so grateful. What will happen with 2012 Leo and Raph? Will they be found and what about 2012 Leo's mate? Will he come looking for Leo?


	33. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2012 Leo and 2003 Raph talk. 2012 Raph realises his Leo is missing and the family sets out to find him.

2012 Leo glared at Raphael and said, “I’m not your mate. Back off.”  
“But ya are, Leo,” Raphael insisted, confusion etched on his face. “We’ve been together for years and got babies. How can ya not remember that?”  
“My mate is you, but he’s also not you. Let me explain,” Leo said, now realizing who Raphael was. “I was at home and my Raph, who has a chip in his plastron, and I fought. I left him a Dear Raph letter and decided to enter my brother’s portal machine to get some much needed time alone. I wandered in the forest and was kidnapped by a hunter and now I’m sharing a cage with you. You’re another Raph from a different dimension. You’re also bigger than my Raph and you have different colored eyes. His are emerald.”  
“But ya smell the same as my Leo.”  
“Your Leo also drinks lots of mint tea?”  
“Yeah, but now I can see yer probably shorter than him. My Leo's six foot two.”  
“I’m five foot two and my Raph's five foot. You said you have babies. You’re intersex?”  
“We both are.”  
“Only Raph is.”  
“Okay, Leo. I get it now, but what are we gonna do ‘bout escapin’? Yer leg's mangled and ya can’t walk.”  
“I don’t know, Raphael. We pray someone will find us.”  
Raphael grunted in frustration, unwanted tears rolled down his emerald cheeks and he said despondently, “I gotta get back ta Leo. Fast before be dies.”  
“Leo’s sick?”  
“Cancer. Donnie thinks he's got just days left.”  
“I’m so sorry, Raphael."  
“I’m fuckin’ nineteen-years-old. I got six babies and Leo’s dyin’. How the fuck am….Never mind. It ain’t yer problem. I’ll stop blabberin’.”  
“I can be a good listener.”  
“I might take ya up on it. Do ya and yer Raph talk?”  
“Mostly fight. He’s so damn stubborn and thinks I’m Splinter junior.”  
“Ya do kiss Sensei’s butt a lot.”  
Sapphire eyes glowered at Raphael and Leo said testily, “I resent that!”  
“It’s true. That’s what pisses Raphael off. Ya gotta be perfect! I know it did ta me and ya fight, but that don’t mean yer Raph don’t love ya. He fuckin’ adores ya and thinks the world of ya. He wants it ta be like it was when ya were kids. Clownin’ 'round and…”  
“I don’t have time to clown around. I’m the leader…”  
“Yer how old?”  
“Fifteen. We’re all fifteen, but I hatched first. Then Raph, Donnie and Mikey.”  
“BS. Yer still a kid. Ya need ta act like one sometimes. Play video games, talk ta Raph and spend time with him. He feels neglected and unloved. That’s why he acts up. I was also the same. I always craved Leo’s attention and picked fights ta get it. Knew early on I loved him, but didn’t think he felt the same way. Was shocked when he said he did and we started datin’. Then we had a bondin’ ceremony and babies. Best thing I ever did was gettin' with Leo. I’m gonna miss him so much when he…” Raphael’s voice trailed off, he blinked back tears and said, “Ya love Raph?”  
“Yes, but he’s been acting so weird lately. Always fighting. More than usual. So cranky. Just the smallest thing sets him off. I couldn’t handle it anymore and that’s why I left.”  
Raphael furrowed his brow in thought and said, “Has he been eatin' more than usual?”  
“No. He spends a lot of time in his room, saying that he’s sick, but he’s been sick for weeks. Donnie wants to run tests, but Raph doesn’t want him to. He says Donnie can if he's not better in a few weeks or so.”

Raphael digested the information and said, "He's gravid." Leo blinked in surprise and said, “What?”  
“He’s sufferin’ from mornin’ sickness and has probably realized why he’s ill and is too embarrassed ta tell ya. And he don't want ya ta be with him purely because of the baby.”  
“But that’s crazy! I'd be with him regardless if he wasn’t so obstinate!”  
“Yer stubborn too, Leo, and ya need ta fix things between ya and Raph. Immediately when ya get home. Ya two love one another and belong together. Just like me and my Leo. Leo and I don’t got much time left together and maybe none at all if I ain't reunited with him. Ya guys got time. I can’t say for sure how long. Life's unpredictable and can be snuffed out just like that, so ya need ta mend bridges before it’s too late. Ya couldn't live with yerself and neither could Raph if he’s anythin’ like me. Talk ta him and raise yer baby together. Get bonded, have a family, love one another and be happy. Ya hear me?”  
“Why can’t my Raph be as clued up as you?”  
“He’s fifteen and ain’t had the responsibilities I got. They’ve made me grow up. I was the same way when I was younger. Temperamental and an asshole. Leo-his-love-changed that. So, will ya do what I told ya?”  
“Yeah, but I’m not sure I’m ready to be a dad.”  
“Me and Leo also worried ‘bout that, but we were fine and we’re fine now. Ya will be too. Love's precious and ya need ta work at it when ya got it. Ya might never find the same thing again, ya know. There'll be tough times, but as long as ya work at it, communicate and love, ya can get through most anythin’.”  
“I’ll try.”  
“Order in dinner. Yer a lousy cook. Make it romantic, tell him ya don’t wanna break up and ya'll love him no matter what. I guarantee he'll open up. That’s what he wants ta hear.”  
“Thanks, Raphael. I will, but I don’t know if I’ll see him again.”  
“He's probably goin' nuts if he's anythin’ like my Leo and he won’t rest until he’s found ya. He’ll find a way.”

XXXX 

2012 Raphael found the note. He crumpled it up in a mixture of rage and sadness, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. _Leo_ _left_ _me. He really left me this time. Bastard! How could he leave me when I need him?_

Rubbing his flat plastron, Raphael said, "No. When we need him. I was gonna tell him tonight and now he’s gone.”  
“Tell who what?” Don asked, appearing from behind his brother and making Raphael almost jump out of his shell.  
“Nothin’.”  
“What’s that you’re holding?”  
“A letter addressed ta me.”  
“You look upset. Has something happened?” Don snatched the letter and quickly read its contents. “Leo dumped you. Oh, Raph. I’m so sorry. It’s going to be okay. Leo will calm down and…”  
His hormones overwhelming him, Raphael blubbered, “No. He won’t. And it was just when I was gonna tell him ‘bout the baby.”  
“Baby?” Don asked in surprise.  
“I ain't been feelin' well. Been throwin’ up and feelin’ nauseous. I think I’m gravid and I was gonna tell Leo. Now he’s gone! I’m never gonna see him again and he hates me!” Raphael wailed.  
“Leo could never hate you. We’ll find out where he’s gone and you’re going to tell him. He'll be pleased and you’re going to have a great life together,” Don said, pulling his brother close.  
“Ya promise?” Raphael sniffed.  
“Yes.”

Footsteps entered the room and Mikey said, “I was in Don’s lab….”  
“Which you know you’re not…”Don began.  
"Why's Raph sniffing? Has something happened?”

“Yes,” Raphael said, pulling away. “I’m gravid and Leo’s fucked off. Goodness knows where.”  
“Whoa,” Mikey said in amazement. “I thought you were a dude, Raph!”  
“I am a dude, Mikey. I'm just intersex and can lay eggs.”  
“Cool! I get to be an uncle,” Mikey said excitedly. “Have you told Sensei?”

“Told me what, Michelangelo?” Splinter said from behind Mikey, startling him and the others.  
“Raph’s gravid and Leo’s gone.”

“Is this true, Raphael?” Splinter asked.  
“Hai, Sensei,” Raphael mumbled, his cheeks flushed.  
“We will discuss that later, but our first priority is finding your brother before he encounters danger.”

“As I was saying,” Mikey said. “I believe Leo entered the portal in Don’s lab. It was open.”

“Then we will all enter it and will search for your brother," Splinter said.  
“What if he don’t wanna be found, Sensei?” Raphael asked. “I mean, we fought and he wanted space and…”  
“What he wants is not important. He belongs with us, Raphael. We are a family and families stick together.”  
“Does that mean ya won’t throw me out, because I’m gravid?”  
“Raphael, you are my son,” Splinter said, placing a paw on his shoulder. “There are times you disappoint me, but it doesn’t mean I love you any less and I would never throw you out. The baby is a shock and knowing that you and Leonardo were together, but we will all discuss it once we’ve found Leonardo and we will handle it as a family, so do not worry.”  
“Thank ya, Sensei.”

The brothers headed to the lab and 2012 Raphael thought, as he stepped through the portal, I hope Leo’s okay. I can’t live without him. I want him back. I wanna tell him I’m sorry for all the cruel things I said. I didn’t mean them. I don’t wanna fight no more. I just wanna be with him and be happy with our baby. I promise I'll change if Leo's okay. I'll be a better mate, a better brother and I’ll never let him down again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Will the 2012 Turtles find their Leo? 
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos. You guys are the best. :)


	34. Leo's stroke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and his brothers meet their 2012 selves and Leo has a stroke.

Leo looked out of his bedroom window and seeing it was dark, realized he must have fallen asleep. Donnie and Raph should have been home by now, he thought anxiously. What’s keeping them? Has something happened to them? I have to find them. Can’t sit here and do nothing. Gritting his teeth, as pain coursed through him, Leo sat up, held onto the dresser to steady himself and stood up, his hands still on the dresser. I feel like an old man, he thought miserably. But there’s no time to gripe. I need to….

Mikey entered the room and said, "What the heck are you doing? Get back in bed, Leo."  
“I’m going to find Donnie and Raph. They aren’t back yet, are they? I sense something bad has happened to them.”  
“You’re weak, Leo. I’ll go look for Donnie. Get back in bed now.”  
“No!” Leo said defiantly and stepped away from the dresser. He was shaky on his feet, but he remained standing, his lips in a thin line. “I’m going to find them. You can come with me or you can stay with Kala.”  
Mikey sighed and said, “You’re an obstinate shit.”  
“Less talk, Mikey. Get the flashlights,” Leo said, trying to ignore the pain. He was in agony, but he knew his brothers needed him, so he’d grin and bear it. Leo donned his obi, picked up his katana from the dresser and placed them in their sheath on his back.  
Mikey rummaged in drawers, found flashlights and said, “I have flashlights. Let’s go, but hold on to me, Leo. You’re very weak and you might fall.”  
“I’m not an invalid, Mikey, and can walk by myself! Go tell Kala. Then we'll leave.”

XXXX

Meanwhile, a groggy Donnie carefully stood up, trying to remember where he was. Then it hit him. It was now dark, he was still deep in the forest and Raphael was gone. The last thing he remembered was that they’d been struck by tranquilizer darts. Whoever fired them must have taken Raph, he thought and it could only be for nefarious reasons, like selling and experimenting. He had to find Raphael fast, but he first had to get back to the cabin and enlist Mikey’s help and get search tools, like flashlights. Then they’d search for their brother. Hopefully, they weren’t too late.

Donnie was halfway back to the cabin when he heard voices and saw familiar figures approaching him.

“Leo, Mikey?” Don said in surprise.  
“Donnie, thank goodness you’re okay,” Mikey said and heaved a sigh of relief.

“Where’s Raph, Donnie?” Leo said, his voice rising in panic.  
“What the heck are you doing out here, Leo? You need to be in bed!”  
“Fuck bed,” Leo snapped. “I’m okay right now. Stop fussing like a mother hen. I’ll rest later. Where’s Raph?”  
“I don’t know. Last thing I remember is we were hit by tranquilizer darts. It was dark when I woke up and Raph was gone. I have no idea where. I was on my way back to get Mikey. You honestly should be up and walking. What if you collapse?”  
“You’re here and can assist, but I can’t rest until I find Raph. He’s my universe and my heart. You’d feel the same way if it was your mate.”  
“But we have no idea where to search, Leo, and the forest’s vast. He could be anywhere. What the heck? Sh. Someone’s coming.”

They quickly hid in the shadows.

“Booyakasha!” 2012 Mikey declared to his brothers’ and Splinter’s annoyance.

“Shut up, doofus!” 2012 Raphael said and smacked the side of his head.

“Raphael, do not hit your brother!” Splinter admonished. “And be quiet. I sense someone is here…”

“Raphael?” Leo said in shock.

“Who said that?” 2012 Donnie said in alarm, raising his bo.

“I did,” Leo declared, beckoning his brothers to step forward.

“No way!” 2012 Mikey said in shock. “They look like us, Sensei, except I’m better looking than my other self!”

“Sensei? Splinter?” Leo said. “Is this some kind of joke? Sensei died.”

“Clearly not, moron,” 2012 Raphael said and rolled his eyes. “Why do ya look like my Leo, except yer taller? Brainiac, got an explanation?”  
2012 Donnie nodded and said, “I think we’ve stumbled on our alternate selves. I’m Don, as you may have guessed. That’s Mikey and this is our hotheaded brother, Raphael. You’re our alternate selves.”

“Why are you here?” Leo asked.  
2012 Raphael piped up, “Leo, my mate, is missin’ and we came here ta find him. Why are ya wanderin’ the forest at night?”  
“Looking for my mate, Raphael. He's also missing.”  
“Wow. So my alternate self and myself is with a Leo. Cool. Anyway, yer lookin’ rather green, dude.”

“Leo’s sick,” 2003 Donnie said.  
“With what?” 2012 Raphael asked.

“Cancer,” Leo said. “Now we all know one another, we need to keep moving. Every second counts.”  
“Shouldn’t ya be restin'?” 2012 Raphael asked. “I think ya should.”  
“No.”  
“I think ya should. Ya don’t look so hot. “  
“I’M FINE RIGHT NOW!” Leo screamed. “Gosh. You’re as bad as my Raph. I need to find him. Then I’ll rest…

“I agree,” Splinter said. “Leonardo, you should rest. Are you staying nearby? I’ll take you back and stay with you.”  
“I appreciate your kindness Master Splinter, but I’m fine and….

Pain suddenly coursed through him. Leo doubled over in agony and emitted a loud, guttural scream. Raphael raced to his side and wrapped an arm around him. “Leo, ya okay?” he asked in concern.  
“Just….” Leo said and held his stomach, trying not to cry out again.

“It’s the cancer,” 2003 Donnie said. “It’s metastasized and he has weeks or days left. He should be at home resting and is in no condition to walk. We told him, but he’s determined to find Raph.”

2012 Raphael pulled away, suddenly feeling extremely sick to his stomach and nausea bubbling in his belly. He turned to the side, doubled over and upchucked into a nearby bush.

“Gross, man!” 2012 Mikey said and wrinkled his beak in disgust.

“What’s wrong with him?” Leo asked.

“He’s gravid,” Splinter said. “And this settles it. Leonardo, you are not well enough to carry on and Raphael, you need to go rest as well. How far away is the place you’re staying?”

“Fifteen minutes’ walk,” 2003 Donnie said.

“But, Sensei!” Raphael protested, his green eyes flashing.  
“No buts and none from you, Leonardo. I know I’m not your Sensei, but you need to listen to me. Go with Raphael and get back into bed.”

“What about my Raph?” Leo asked weakly, as 2012 Raphael grabbed his arm to steady him, so he didn’t fall over.  
“We’ll do our best to find them,” Splinter said. “But you need to do as I say. Raphael, make yourself and Leonardo some ginger tea when you get to the cabin. Then rest.”

“Hai, Sensei,” Raphael muttered, pissed off, but knowing he had no choice but to listen. “Come on, Leo.”

XXXX

2012 Raphael gripped Leo’s arm tighter, ensuring he didn’t fall, and they walked back to the farmhouse. “So, whose cabin is it, Leo?” he asked.  
“April and Casey’s.”  
“Are they there?”  
“They’re dead,” Leo said flatly, as if he were discussing the weather.  
“And that don’t bother ya? Ya sound so cold ‘bout it. I thought they were our friends.”  
“Maybe in your world, but friends don’t try to kill friends and terrorize them. Raph resisted April’s advances and she threatened to send our babies to scientists. He snapped and murdered her. Then Casey tried to kill Raph and Donnie killed him. No. We’re not happy our friends are dead, but the alternative would have been far worse.”  
“Ya got a point. I’d have done the same thing if anyone threatened my family or babies.”  
"You're gravid, huh? How far along?”  
“Few weeks.”  
“Congratulations. You excited?”  
“Thanks. Yeah, but I’m kinda nervous too. I’m only fifteen and I ain’t never had babies before, ya know. I’m a little scared I won’t be a good dad and what if Leo don’t want them?”  
“He’ll adore the babies and so will you if you guys are anything like me and my mate. Raph was fifteen when our eldest was born and he was a natural. He’s an incredible daddy and the kids adore him. You guys will be fine.”  
“How many kids do ya got?”  
“Six.”  
“Wow.”  
“Three girls and a boy and two eggs.”  
“That’s so cool. I’m sorry yer sick, Leo. I …”  
“I’m twenty and it’s hard accepting your mortality at such a young age, but…I’ve been a lucky guy. I’ve had love and babies and loved every moment, even the bad times. Raph’s been absolutely fantastic and the best mate I could ever have hoped for. I’m sad I won’t be here and I’ll miss him and the kids, but I… We’re here,” Leo said and pointed at the cabin.

XXXX

They went inside and 2012 Raphael brewed ginger tea and he and Leo drank it at the kitchen table. Raphael didn’t care for the tea, but it did settle his stomach, so he sipped it. “What’s it like on your planet?” Leo asked.  
“Borin’. We defeated all the gangs and it’s dullsville. Here?”  
“Even Shredder?”  
“He was murdered by his mother after he double crossed her over some plot. What do ya do here?”  
“We fought the gangs and Shredder before I got sick. We came here when my illness was diagnosed. It’s not permanent. Just a while longer. Then I’ll spend my final days at the lair. My brothers will have me cremated and scatter my ashes. Our Sensei's buried here. He had a heart attack when he learned about my Illness. I miss him so much.”  
“Shit. I’m sorry, Leo. I know I’d feel the same way ‘bout Sensei.”  
“He was an excellent grandpa,” Leo said and sipped his tea. “We all miss him very much.” An idea suddenly came to him, but before he could voice it, crying emanated from his bedroom. “The girls,” he said. “I’ll get them.”

2012 Raphael protested, saying that Leo should remain seated and he’d get them, but Leo refused and went to get his twin daughters.

Leo returned a few minutes later with the twins and Raphael gazed at them in awe. They were so tiny, perfect and beautiful.

“Want to hold them while I make their formula?” Leo asked.  
“I couldn’t. I might drop them.”  
“You won’t,” Leo said and placed them in Raphael’s arms. “Hold them like that. That’s good. You’re a natural, Raphael. I've no doubt you’ll be a good dad.”  
Raphael smiled, his green eyes lighting up, as one of the babies stretched out a small hand and touched his beak. “What are their names, Leo?”  
“Amy touched your beak and that’s Ali-Alyssa. The others are asleep.”  
“They’re so cute.”  
Leo prepared the formula and said, “They are, but me and Raph hardly get any sleep. They keep us on our toes. It’s worth it, though. Being a parent’s so rewarding. I love it. Best thing I’ve done, other than being with Raph.”  
“I’m in awe, Leo. They’re just so perfect. Ya and Raphael are very blessed.”  
“Do you think you…?” Leo began and paused, as he felt strange and a numbness in his face. “Raph, I can’t see you,” he slurred. “What’s wrong with me? I feel strange.”

Raphael placed the girls in a pram that'd been left in the kitchen and raced to Leo’s side.

“I want ya ta raise yer arms for me, okay, Leo?” Raphael said, getting a bad feeling.  
“Wh-what’s going on, Raph?” Leo slurred again.  
“Lift yer arms, Leo.”

Leo tried and his arms dropped down, unsteady and Raphael’s heart sank.

“What’s going on?” Leo slurred.  
“Yer havin’ a stroke, Leo. Sh. I’m here, Leo. Yer gonna be okay. I got ya.”

Raphael kept one arm around Leo, dialed his smartest brother and said, “Send Sensei, Donnie. Leo’s havin’ a stroke!”  
“Keep him calm,” the genius said. “Sensei’s coming. He knows what to do.”  
“Tell him ta step on it,” Raphael said and disconnected the call.

“Am I dying, Raph?” Leo asked.  
“No, Leo. Stay with me and stay upright. I got ya. Ya ain’t gonna fall.”  
“I’m so tired.”  
“Don’t sleep, Leo!”  
“So tired,” Leo said, closing his eyes. He sank to the ground in a heap, his eyes sliding shut, before Raphael could catch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Yay. Another chapter out. Thanks to all reading and reviewing.
> 
> Will Leo recover from his stroke and see his mate again?
> 
> To prevent confusion when the two versions of the brothers are talking together, I'll use 2003 Leo and 2012 Don for example.
> 
> If it's just one version talking to each other, ie 2003 Raph and 2003, Leo. I'll just use their names. I hope that won't be confusing.
> 
> And seeing as 2003 Splinter's dead, I'll just use Splinter.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy family. Tragic that it will soon end. 
> 
> I have two endings in mind. One that Leo succumbs to cancer and Raph is left to care for the kids. The other ending is that Leo goes into remission and his illness brings the couple even closer and they live happily ever after. Because I feel bad for Leo and of course, Raph, I'll write both endings.
> 
> I have changed the names of the first twins to Alyssa and Amy. In later chapters, there are twins named Donatello Aidan Michelangelo and Raph jr.


End file.
